I was eight years old. I remember that day clearly like it happened just yesterday. My mother is a bidi roller. She hand-rolls country cigarettes to sustain our family. She is a hard worker and spent 10 to 12 hours every day rolling bidis. That particular day she came home and showed me her bidi-rolling wage book. She asked me how much money she has earned that week. I went through that book, and what caught my eyes were her thumbprints on each page.
當時我八歲。 我還可以清楚地記得那一天, 彷彿就是昨天一樣。 我媽媽的工作是捲香菸。 她以人工捲印度的國民香菸 來維持家計。 她是很辛勤工作的勞工, 每天要花十到十二小時捲香菸。 就在那天,她回到家, 讓我看她捲香菸的薪水薄。 她問我她那一週賺了多少錢。 我看了那本簿子的內容, 吸引我注意的是每頁上 都有她的拇指指紋。
My mother has never been to school. She uses her thumbprints instead of a signature to keep a record of her earnings. On that day, for some reason, I wanted to teach her how to hold a pen and write her name. She was reluctant at first. She smiled innocently and said no. But deep down, I was sure she wanted to give it a try. With a little bit of perseverance and a lot of effort, we managed to write her name. Her hands were trembling, and her face was beaming with pride.
我媽媽從來沒有上過學。 她用她的拇指指紋來代替簽名, 來記錄她的收入。 那天,基於某種理由, 我想要教她如何握筆 以及如何寫她的名字。 她一開始很不情願。 她露出天真的微笑並說「不」。 但,內心深處, 我很確定她想要一試。 花了一點點的堅持和很多的努力, 我們成功讓她學會寫她的名字。 她的手在發抖,臉上盡是驕傲。
As I watched her do this, for the first time in my life, I had a priceless feeling: that I could be of some use to this world. That feeling was very special, because I am not meant to be useful. In rural India, girls are generally considered worthless. They're a liability or a burden. If they are considered useful, it is only to cook dishes, keep the house clean or raise children. As a second daughter of my conservative Indian family, I was fairly clear from a very early age that no one expected anything from me. I was conditioned to believe that the three identities that defined me -- poor village girl -- meant that I was to live a life of no voice and no choice. These three identities forced me to think that I should never have been born.
當我看著她寫名字時, 這是我人生中第一次, 我感到一種無價的感覺: 我在這個世界上能有點用途。 那種感覺好特別, 因為照理來說我不該是有用的。 在印度鄉村, 女孩都是沒有價值的。 她們是負擔,是累贅。 如果她們被認為是有用的, 那最多也只是有用在 煮飯、打掃房子, 或養育孩子。 我是一個保守印度家庭中的次女, 我非常小的時候就已經知道, 沒有人會對我有任何期望。 我受到制約,相信我 被三種身分給定義—— 貧窮、村莊、女孩—— 意思就是說,我注定要過著 沒有發言權、選擇權的人生。 這三種身分迫使我去想, 我根本不該被生下來。
Yet, I was. All throughout my childhood, as I rolled bidis alongside my mother, I would wonder: What did my future hold? I often asked my mother, with a lot of anxiety, "Amma, will my life be different from yours? Will I have a chance to choose my life? Will I go to college?" And she would reply back, "Try to finish high school first." I am sure my mother did not mean to discourage me. She only wanted me to understand that my dreams might be too big for a girl in my village.
但,我被生下來了。 我的整個童年都在 我媽媽身邊幫忙捲香菸, 我會納悶: 我的未來有什麼? 我通常會充滿焦慮地問我媽媽: 「媽,我的人生會和你的不同嗎? 我會有機會選擇我的人生嗎? 我會上大學嗎?」 她會這樣回我: 「先試著讀完高中。」 我相信我媽媽並沒有要洩我的氣。 她只希望我能了解, 就一個生在這個村莊的女孩 而言,我的夢想太大了。
When I was 13, I found the autobiography of Helen Keller. Helen became my inspiration. I admired her indomitable spirit. I wanted to have a college degree like her, so I fought with my father and my relatives to be sent to college, and it worked.
我十三歲時,發現了 海倫·凱勒的自傳。 海倫成了鼓舞我的人。 我欣賞她不屈不撓的精神。 我想跟她一樣取得大學學位, 所以我為了要上大學的事 和我爸爸及親戚爭執, 結果我成功了。
During my final year of my undergraduate degree, I desperately wanted to escape from being forced into marriage, so I applied to a fellowship program in Delhi, which is about 1,600 miles away from my village.
在我讀大學的最後一年, 我非常想要逃離被迫結婚的命運, 所以我申請了德里的獎學金, 德里離我的村莊 大約有一千六百英里。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
In fact, I recall that the only way I could fill out the application was during my commute to college. I did not have access to computers, so I had to borrow a college junior's cell phone. As a woman, I could not be seen with a cell phone, so I used to huddle his phone under my shawl and type as slowly as possible to ensure that I would not be heard. After many rounds of interviews, I got into the fellowship program with a full scholarship. My father was confused, my mother was worried --
事實上,我記得, 我唯一能夠填申請表的方式, 就是在通勤去大學的路上填寫。 我沒有電腦可以用, 我得要向一位大一學生借手機。 我是女人,所以不能 讓別人看到我持有手機, 我通常會把他的手機 藏在我的披巾下, 盡可能緩慢地打字, 以確保不會被別人聽見。 經過好幾回的訪談, 我被錄取了,且拿到全額獎學金。 我爸爸感到很困惑, 我媽媽感到很擔心——
(Applause)
(掌聲)
My father was confused, my mother was worried, but I felt butterflies in my stomach because I was going to step out of my village for the first time to study in the national capital.
我爸爸感到很困惑, 我媽媽感到很擔心, 而我則是忐忑不安, 因為我將要步出我的村莊, 這是頭一回, 且是要去國家首都讀書。
Of the 97 fellows selected that year, I was the only rural college graduate. There was no one there who looked like me or spoke like me. I felt alienated, intimidated and judged by many. One fellow called me "Coconut Girl." Can you guess why? Anyone? That's because I applied a lot of coconut oil to my hair.
當年選出的九十七位研究員中, 我是唯一一位從鄉村大學畢業的。 那裡沒有人看起來跟我一樣, 或說話跟我一樣。 我覺得很孤獨、害怕, 且被很多人評斷。 有一位研究員叫我「椰子女孩」。 你們猜得到為什麼嗎? 有人要猜嗎? 那是因為我在頭髮上 抹了很多椰子油。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Another asked me where I had learned to speak English, and some of my peers did not prefer to have me on their assignment teams because they thought I would not be able to contribute to their discussion. I felt that many of my peers believed that a person from rural India could not supply anything of value, yet the majority of Indian population today is rural. I realized that stories like mine were considered to be an exception and never the expectation.
另一位研究員問我 是在哪裡學會說英文的, 我有一些同儕不歡迎我 加入他們的小組寫報告, 因為他們認為我不會 對他們的討論有所貢獻。 我覺得,我有很多同儕都認為, 來自印度鄉村的人 不可能提供任何有價值的東西, 盡管印度大部分的人口 都是鄉村人口。 我了解到,像我這樣的故事 其實是被視為特例, 而不是視為期望。
I believe that all of us are born into a reality that we blindly accept until something awakens us and a new world opens up. When I saw my mother's first signature on her bidi-rolling wage book, when I felt the hot Delhi air against my face after a 50-hour train journey, when I finally felt free and let myself be, I saw a glimpse of that new world I longed for, a world where a girl like me is no longer a liability or a burden but a person of use, a person of value and a person of worthiness.
我認為,我們所有人都出生在 一個大家盲目接受的現實中, 直到有某件事物喚醒我們, 新的世界就此打開。 當我在我媽媽的捲香菸薪水薄上 看到她的第一個簽名時, 當我搭了五十個小時的火車, 感到德里的熱空氣 拂過我的臉頰時, 當我終於感到自由、 能夠做自己時, 我瞥見了我渴望的新世界, 在這個世界,像我這樣的女孩 不再是個負擔或累贅, 而是有用的人、有價值的人, 可敬的人。
By the time my fellowship ended, my life had changed. Not only had I traced my lost voice, but also had a choice to make myself useful. I was 22. I came back to my village to set up the Bodhi Tree Foundation, an institution that supports rural youth by providing them with education, life skills and opportunities. We work closely with our rural youth to change their life and to benefit our communities.
在我的研究員學程結束時, 我的人生已經改變了。 我不只找到了我失去的聲音, 也有機會可以選擇 讓我自己變成有用的人。 我當時二十二歲。 我回到我的村莊, 設立了菩提樹基金會, 這個機構的目的是 支持鄉村年輕人, 提供他們教育、 生活技能,以及機會。 我們和我們鄉村的年輕人密切合作, 以此改變他們的人生, 讓我們的社區受惠。
How do I know my institution is working? Well, six months ago, we had a new joinee. Her name is Kaviarasi. I first spotted her in a local college in Tirunelveli during one of my training sessions. As you can see, she has a smile which you can never forget. We guided her to get an opportunity to study at Ashoka University, Delhi. The best part of her story is that she is now back at Bodhi Tree as a trainer working with dedication to make a change in the lives of others like her. Kaviarasi doesn't want to feel like an exception. She wants to be of use to others in this world.
我怎麼知道我的機構是有用的? 嗯,六個月前, 有一個新人加入我們。 她叫做卡薇亞拉西。 我最初注意到她, 是在蒂魯內爾維利的當地大學, 在我的其中一堂訓練課程上。 你們可以看見, 她的微笑讓人難忘。 我們引導她取得機會, 到德里的阿育王大學讀書。 她的故事最棒的部分就是, 她現在已經回到菩提樹當培訓師, 想盡一份心力,幫助 像她這樣的人改變人生。 卡薇亞拉西並不希望 覺得自己是個特例。 她想要讓自己有用, 幫助世界上的其他人。
Recently, Kaviarasi mentored Anitha, who also comes from a remote, rural village, lives in a 10-foot-by-10-foot home, her parents are also farm laborers. Kaviarasi helped Anitha secure admission in a prestigious undergraduate program in a top university in India with a full scholarship. When Anitha's parents were reluctant to send her that far, we asked the district administration officials to speak to Anitha's parents, and it worked.
最近,卡薇亞拉西 在擔任阿妮塔的導師, 阿妮塔也是來自偏遠的鄉村村落, 住家面積只有十英尺乘十英尺, 她的父母也是農場工人。 卡薇亞拉西協助阿妮塔取得一個 有名望的大學學程的入學資格, 那是印度的頂尖大學, 且她還拿到全額獎學金。 阿妮塔的父母不願意 把她送到那麼遠的地方, 於是我們請當地的行政官員 去跟她的父母談談, 結果成功了。
And then there is Padma. Padma and I went to college together. She's the first in her entire village to attend graduation. She had been working with me at Bodhi Tree until one day she decides to go to graduate school. I asked her why. She told me that she wanted to make sure that she would never be a liability or a burden to anyone at any point in her life.
另外還有帕瑪。 帕瑪和我一起上大學。 她是她的村落裡 第一個去讀研究所的人。 她之前一直和我在菩提樹工作, 直到有一天, 她決定要去讀研究所。 我問她為什麼。 她告訴我,她想要確保 她永遠不會在一生中的任何時候 成為任何人的負擔或累贅。
Padma, Anitha and Kaviarasi grew up in the most tough families and communities one could only imagine. Yet the journey of finding my usefulness in this world served them in finding their usefulness to this world.
帕瑪、阿妮塔,和卡薇亞拉西 生長在最艱困的家庭和社區中, 是我們難以想像的。 但,我在這個世界上 尋找我自己用途的旅程, 卻協助她們在這個世界上 找到了她們自己的用途。
Of course there are challenges. I'm aware change does not happen overnight. A lot of my work involves working with families and communities to help them understand why getting an education is useful for everyone. The quickest way to convince them is by doing. When they see their kids getting a real education, getting a real job, they begin to change.
當然,路上會有挑戰。 我很清楚改變不是一朝一夕的事。 我的工作有很大一部分 是和家庭及社區合作, 協助他們了解為什麼取得教育 對人人都有用處。 說服他們最快的方式 就是做給他們看。 當他們看見他們的孩子 取得真正的教育, 找到真正的工作時, 他們便開始改變。
The best example is what happened at my home. I was recently given an award in recognition of my social work by the chief minister of my state. That meant I was going to be on television.
最好的例子就是我家的狀況。 近期,我的社會福利工作 讓我得到了一個獎項的肯定, 由我這個邦的首席部長所頒發。 意思就是,我要上電視了。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Everyone was hooked on to the television that morning, including my parents. I would like to believe that seeing her daughter on television made my mother feel useful too. Hopefully, she will stop pressuring me to get married now.
那天早上大家都等在電視機前面, 包括我父母。 我相信,我媽媽看到 自己的女兒上電視, 也讓她覺得自己是有用的。 希望她現在不會再逼我結婚了。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Finding my use has helped me to break free from the identities society thrusts on me -- poor village girl. Finding my use has helped me to break free from being boxed, caged and bottled. Finding my use has helped me to find my voice, my self-worth and my freedom.
尋找自己的用途,讓我脫離了 社會加在我身上的 三種身分束縛—— 貧窮、村莊、女孩。 尋找我自己的用途, 讓我擺脫了限制、 困境和束縛。 尋找我自己的用途, 讓我找到了我的發言權、 我的自我價值,和我的自由。
I leave you with this thought: Where do you feel useful to this world? Because the answer to that question is where you will find your voice and your freedom.
留給大家一個想法: 在這個世界上的何處, 你會覺得自己有用? 因為這個問題的答案, 就是你能夠找到你的聲音 和你的自由的地方。
Thank you.
謝謝。
(Applause)
(掌聲)