So my moment of truth did not come all at once. In 2010, I had the chance to be considered for promotion from my job as director of policy planning at the U.S. State Department. This was my moment to lean in, to push myself forward for what are really only a handful of the very top foreign policy jobs, and I had just finished a big, 18-month project for Secretary Clinton, successfully, and I knew I could handle a bigger job.
Moj trenutak istine nije došao odjednom. Godine 2010, imala sam priliku da razmotre moje unapređenje na poslu kao načelnika odeljenja za planiranje politike u američkom Državnom sekretarijatu. To je bio trenutak da napredujem, da idem dalje jer postoji samo nekoliko najviših poslova za inostranu politiku, i samo što sam završila veliki projekat koji je trajao 18 meseci za sekretarku Klinton, uspešno, i znala sam da mogu da uspešno rukovodim većim poslom.
The woman I thought I was would have said yes. But I had been commuting for two years between Washington and Princeton, New Jersey, where my husband and my two teenage sons lived, and it was not going well. I tried on the idea of eking out another two years in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons from their school and my husband from his work and asking them to join me. But deep down, I knew that the right decision was to go home, even if I didn't fully recognize the woman who was making that choice.
Ta žena za koju sam mislila da sam, rekla bi da. Ali putovala sam zbog posla dve godine. između Vašingtona i Prinstona u Nju Džerziju, gde su živeli moj suprug i dvojica sinova tinejdžera, i to nije išlo kako treba. Pokušala sam sa idejom da nadomestim druge dve godine u Vašingtonu ili možda da odvojim sinove od njihovih škola i muža od njegovog posla i da ih pitam da mi se pridruže. Ali duboko u sebi, znala sam da je ispravna odluka da se vratim kući, iako nisam u potpunosti prepoznala tu ženu koja je tako odlučila.
That was a decision based on love and responsibility. I couldn't keep watching my oldest son make bad choices without being able to be there for him when and if he needed me. But the real change came more gradually. Over the next year, while my family was righting itself, I started to realize that even if I could go back into government, I didn't want to. I didn't want to miss the last five years that my sons were at home. I finally allowed myself to accept what was really most important to me, not what I was conditioned to want or maybe what I conditioned myself to want, and that decision led to a reassessment of the feminist narrative that I grew up with and have always championed.
Ta odluka je bila zasnovana na ljubavi i odgovornosti. Nisam mogla da nastavim da gledam svog najstarijeg sina kako donosi pogrešne odluke bez mogućnosti da budem tu za njega kada i ako sam mu potrebna. Ali prava promena je nastupila postepeno. Tokom naredne godine, dok se moja porodica popravljala, počela sam da shvatam da čak i ako bih mogla da se vratim da radim za vladu, nisam to želela. Nisam želela da propustim poslednjih pet godina tokom kojih bi moji sinovi bili kod kuće. Konačno sam dozvolila sebi da prihvatim šta je meni bilo najvažnije, ne ono što sam bila uslovljena da želim ili možda što sam uslovila sebe da želim, i ta odluka je vodila do ponovne procene tog feminističkog narativa uz koji sam odrasla i uvek predvodila.
I am still completely committed to the cause of male-female equality, but let's think about what that equality really means, and how best to achieve it. I always accepted the idea that the most respected and powerful people in our society are men at the top of their careers, so that the measure of male-female equality ought to be how many women are in those positions: prime ministers, presidents, CEOs, directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders. I still think we should do everything we possibly can to achieve that goal. But that's only half of real equality, and I now think we're never going to get there unless we recognize the other half. I suggest that real equality, full equality, does not just mean valuing women on male terms. It means creating a much wider range of equally respected choices for women and for men. And to get there, we have to change our workplaces, our policies and our culture.
I dalje sam u potpunosti posvećena ideji muško-ženske ravnopravnosti, ali hajde da razmislimo o tome šta ta ravnopravnost zapravo znači, i koji je najbolji način da se tako nešto postigne. Oduvek sam prihvatala ideju da su najpoštovaniji i najmoćniji ljudi u našem društvu muškarci na vrhu svojih karijera, tako da bi merilo muško-ženske jednakosti trebalo da bude koliko žena ima na sledećim radnim mestima: premijer, predsednik, generalni direktor, direktor, menadžer, nosilac Nobelove nagrade, vođa. I dalje mislim da bi trebalo da učinimo sve što možemo da bismo postigli taj cilj. Ali to je samo jedna polovina stvarne ravnopravnosti, i sada smatram da nikada nećemo uspeti ako ne uvidimo drugu polovinu. Predlažem da prava ravnopravnost, potpuna ravnopravnost, ne znači samo da procenjujemo žene po muškim merilima. To znači stvaranje mnogo šireg spektra jednako poštovanih izbora za žene i za muškarce. A da bismo to postigli, moramo da promenimo naše radno okruženje, politiku i kulturu.
In the workplace, real equality means valuing family just as much as work, and understanding that the two reinforce each other. As a leader and as a manager, I have always acted on the mantra, if family comes first, work does not come second -- life comes together. If you work for me, and you have a family issue, I expect you to attend to it, and I am confident, and my confidence has always been borne out, that the work will get done, and done better. Workers who have a reason to get home to care for their children or their family members are more focused, more efficient, more results-focused. And breadwinners who are also caregivers have a much wider range of experiences and contacts. Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time at school events for his kids talking to other parents. He's much more likely to bring in new clients for his firm than a lawyer who never leaves his office. And caregiving itself develops patience -- a lot of patience -- and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability. Those are all attributes that are ever more important in a high-speed, horizontal, networked global economy.
Na radnom mestu, prava ravnopravnost znači vrednovanje porodice isto koliko vrednujemo posao, i razumevanje da to dvoje podupire jedno drugo. Kao vođa i menadžer, uvek sam verovala u to da ako je porodica na prvom mestu, posao nije na drugom - život čine zajedno. Ako radiš za mene i imaš porodični problem, očekujem da ga rešiš, i ja sam samouverena, i moja samouverenost je uvek poticala, da će posao biti urađen i da će biti urađen bolje. Radnici koji imaju razlog da idu kući da bi brinuli o deci ili članovima porodice su usredsređeniji, efikasniji, više usredsređeni na rezultate. A hranitelj koji ujedno i neguje ima viši nivo iskustva i kontakta. Razmislite o advokatu koji provodi deo svog vremena na školskim događajima sa decom i priča sa drugim roditeljima. Verovatno je da će privući nove klijente za firmu nego neki advokat koji nikada ne napušta kancelariju. A nega sama po sebi razvija strpljenje - dosta strpljenja - i empatiju, kreativnost, otpornost, prilagodljivost. Ovi svi pridevi su čak i važniji u ubrzanoj, horizontalnoj, umreženoj svetskoj ekonomiji.
The best companies actually know this. The companies that win awards for workplace flexibility in the United States include some of our most successful corporations, and a 2008 national study on the changing workforce showed that employees in flexible and effective workplaces are more engaged with their work, they're more satisfied and more loyal, they have lower levels of stress and higher levels of mental health. And a 2012 study of employers showed that deep, flexible practices actually lowered operating costs and increased adaptability in a global service economy.
Najbolja preduzeća ovo zapravo znaju. Preduzeća koja osvajaju nagrade za prilagodljivost radnog okruženja u SAD-u uključuju neke od naših najuspešnijih korporacija, a nacionalno istraživanje iz 2008. o promeni radne snage pokazalo je da su zaposleni na prilagodljivim i efikasnim radnim mestima privrženiji poslu, zadovoljniji su i verniji, imaju niži nivo stresa i viši nivo mentalnog zdravlja. A istraživanje o poslodavcima iz 2012. godine pokazalo je da su duboke, fleksibilne prakse zapravo smanjile operativne troškove i povećale prilagodljivost u globalnoj uslužnoj ekonomiji.
So you may think that the privileging of work over family is only an American problem. Sadly, though, the obsession with work is no longer a uniquely American disease. Twenty years ago, when my family first started going to Italy, we used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta. Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day. It's actually just as much about embracing the warmth of a family lunch. Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses close for siesta, reflecting the advance of global corporations and 24-hour competition. So making a place for those we love is actually a global imperative.
Stoga možda mislite da je stavljanje posla ispred porodice zapravo samo američki problem. Ipak nažalost, opsesija poslom nije više bolest od koje pati samo Amerika Pre dvadeset godina, kada je moja porodica prvi put išla u Italiju, imali smo naviku da uživamo u kulturi popodnevnog odmora. Taj odmor nije tu samo da se izbegne najveća vrućina u toku dana. Zapravo predstavlja isto toliko i uživanje u toplini porodičnog ručka. Kada sada odemo, sve manje i manje kompanija se zatvara zbog popodnevnog odmora, što oslikava napredak svetskih korporacija i 24-časovnog nadmetanja. Stoga je stvaranje mesta za one koje volimo zapravo svetski imperativ.
In policy terms, real equality means recognizing that the work that women have traditionally done is just as important as the work that men have traditionally done, no matter who does it. Think about it: Breadwinning and caregiving are equally necessary for human survival. At least if we get beyond a barter economy, somebody has to earn an income and someone else has to convert that income to care and sustenance for loved ones.
U smislu politike, prava ravnopravnost znači razumevanje da je posao koji su žene tradicionalno obavljale podjednako važan kao i posao koji su muškarci tradicionalno obavljali, nije važno ko ga obavlja. Razmislite o tome: zarađivanje i briga za porodicu su podjednako neophodni da bi čovek preživeo. Barem ako idemo dalje od ekonomije razmene, neko mora da zaradi prihod, a neko drugi mora da taj prihod pretvori u brigu i hranu za one koje volimo.
Now most of you, when you hear me talk about breadwinning and caregiving, instinctively translate those categories into men's work and women's work. And we don't typically challenge why men's work is advantaged. But consider a same-sex couple like my friends Sarah and Emily. They're psychiatrists. They got married five years ago, and now they have two-year-old twins. They love being mothers, but they also love their work, and they're really good at what they do. So how are they going to divide up breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities? Should one of them stop working or reduce hours to be home? Or should they both change their practices so they can have much more flexible schedules? And what criteria should they use to make that decision? Is it who makes the most money or who is most committed to her career? Or who has the most flexible boss?
Većina vas, kada me čujete kako pričam o zaradi i brizi, po instinktu prevodite ove kategorije u muški i ženski posao. A obično ne izazivamo to zašto je muški posao u prednosti. Ali ako razmislimo o istopolnom paru kao što su moji prijatelji, Sara i Emili. Obe su psihijatri. Venčale su se pre pet godina, i sada imaju dvogodišnje blizance. Vole što su majke, ali takođe vole i posao koji rade. i zaista su dobre u tome što rade. Kako će njih dve onda da podele odgovornost o zarađivanju i brizi? Da li bi jedna od njih trebalo da prestane da radi ili da smanji radno vreme da bi bila kod kuće? Ili bi obe trebalo da promene posao da bi imale mnogo prilagodljivije rasporede? I kojim kriterijumom bi trebalo da budu vođene da bi donele odluku? Da li je ona osoba koja donosi najviše novca ili ona koja je privrženija karijeri? Ili ona koja ima fleksibilnijeg šefa?
The same-sex perspective helps us see that juggling work and family are not women's problems, they're family problems. And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones, because they have a choice about how much they want to work. Millions of men and women have to be both breadwinners and caregivers just to earn the income they need, and many of those workers are scrambling. They're patching together care arrangements that are inadequate and often actually unsafe. If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal, then why shouldn't a government invest as much in an infrastructure of care as the foundation of a healthy society as it invests in physical infrastructure as the backbone of a successful economy?
Perspektiva o istopolnom paru nam pomaže da uvidimo da balansiranje posla i porodice nisu ženski problemi, to su porodični problemi. I Sara i Emili su među srećnicima, zato što imaju izbor koliko žele da rade. Milioni muškaraca i žena moraju da budu istovremeno i oni koji zarađuju i oni koji brinu samo da bi zaradili prihod koji im treba a mnogi od ovih radnika se koprcaju. Na brzinu izmišljaju aranžmane o brizi koji su neodgovarajući i često zapravo nebezbedni. Da su zarada i briga stvarno ravnopravni, zašto onda ne bi vlada investirala podjednako u infrastrukturu o brizi, kao temelj za zdravo društvo, koliko investira u fizičku infrastrukturu kao osnovu uspešne privrede?
The governments that get it -- no surprises here -- the governments that get it, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands, provide universal child care, support for caregivers at home, school and early childhood education, protections for pregnant women, and care for the elderly and the disabled. Those governments invest in that infrastructure the same way they invest in roads and bridges and tunnels and trains. Those societies also show you that breadwinning and caregiving reinforce each other. They routinely rank among the top 15 countries of the most globally competitive economies, but at the same time, they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index. In fact, they rank higher than other governments, like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland, that have higher average levels of income but lower rankings on work-life balance.
Vlade koje to shvataju - ovde nema iznenađenja - vlade koje to shvataju, Norveška, Švedska, Danska, Holandija obezbeđuju univerzalnu brigu za decu, podršku za one koji neguju kod kuće, škole i obrazovanje od ranog detinjstva, zaštitu trudnica i brigu za stare i invalide. Ove vlade investiraju u takvu infrastrukturu isto koliko investiraju u puteve i mostove tunele i vozove. Takva društva će takođe pokazati da donošenje prihoda kao i briga podupiru jedno drugo. Oni se rutinski rangiraju između 15 najboljih država sa najkompetitivnijim privredama na svetskom nivou, ali istovremeno rangiraju se visoko na OECD indeksu "Bolji život". Zapravo, rangiraju se više nego druge vlade, kao recimo moja, američka ili švajcarska, koje imaju više prosečne nivoe prihoda ali niži rang na balansu posla i života.
So changing our workplaces and building infrastructures of care would make a big difference, but we're not going to get equally valued choices unless we change our culture, and the kind of cultural change required means re-socializing men. (Applause) Increasingly in developed countries, women are socialized to believe that our place is no longer only in the home, but men are actually still where they always were. Men are still socialized to believe that they have to be breadwinners, that to derive their self-worth from how high they can climb over other men on a career ladder. The feminist revolution still has a long way to go. It's certainly not complete. But 60 years after "The Feminine Mystique" was published, many women actually have more choices than men do. We can decide to be a breadwinner, a caregiver, or any combination of the two. When a man, on the other hand, decides to be a caregiver, he puts his manhood on the line. His friends may praise his decision, but underneath, they're scratching their heads. Isn't the measure of a man his willingness to compete with other men for power and prestige? And as many women hold that view as men do. We know that lots of women still judge the attractiveness of a man based in large part on how successful he is in his career. A woman can drop out of the work force and still be an attractive partner. For a man, that's a risky proposition. So as parents and partners, we should be socializing our sons and our husbands to be whatever they want to be, either caregivers or breadwinners. We should be socializing them to make caregiving cool for guys. (Applause)
Stoga menjanje naših radnih mesta i izgrađivanje infrastrukture za brigu napravilo bi veliku razliku, ali nećemo ravnopravno vrednovati izbore ako ne promenimo našu kulturu, i vrsta kulturne promene koja je neophodna podrazumeva resocijalizaciju muškaraca. (Aplauz) Sve više i više u razvijenim državama, žene su podržane da veruju da naše mesto nije više samo kod kuće, ali muškarci su još uvek na istom mestu gde su uvek bili. Muškarci su još uvek podržani da veruju da oni moraju da budu oni koji hrane porodicu, da osećaj sopstvene vrednosti dobijaju iz toga koliko mogu da se uzdignu iznad drugih muškaraca na merdevinama karijere. Feministička revolucija mora da pređe još dug put. Svakako nije završena. Ali 60 godina nakon što je objavljena knjiga "Ženska mistika", mnoge žene zapravo imaju više izbora od muškaraca. Mi možemo da odlučimo da budemo one koje će donositi prihod ili pružati negu, ili bilo koja kombinacija ta dva. Kada muškarac, sa druge strane, odluči da brine o porodici, dovodi svoju muškost u pitanje. Njegovi prijatelji će možda podržavati njegovu odluku, ali zapravo, češkaju se po glavama. Zar nije vrednost muškarca njegova volja da se takmiči sa drugim muškarcima za moć i prestiž? Taj stav ima jednak broj žena kao i muškaraca. Znamo da mnogo žena još uvek sudi o privlačnosti muškarca u velikoj meri na osnovu njegovog uspeha u karijeri. Žena može da napusti radno mesto i dalje će biti privlačna partneru. Za muškarca, to je rizičan potez. Stoga, kao roditelji i partneri trebalo bi da socijalizujemo naše sinove i naše muževe da budu šta god oni žele bilo oni koji brinu, bilo oni koji zarađuju. Trebalo bi da ih socijalizujemo tako da im briga bude zanimljiva. (Aplauz)
I can almost hear lots of you thinking, "No way." But in fact, the change is actually already happening. At least in the United States, lots of men take pride in cooking, and frankly obsess over stoves. They are in the birthing rooms. They take paternity leave when they can. They can walk a baby or soothe a toddler just as well as their wives can, and they are increasingly doing much more of the housework. Indeed, there are male college students now who are starting to say, "I want to be a stay-at-home dad." That was completely unthinkable 50 or even 30 years ago. And in Norway, where men have an automatic three month's paternity leave, but they lose it if they decide not to take it, a high government official told me that companies are starting to look at prospective male employees and raise an eyebrow if they didn't in fact take their leave when they had kids. That means that it's starting to seem like a character defect not to want to be a fully engaged father.
Skoro da mogu da čujem mnoge od vas kako razmišljate: "Nema šanse." Ali zapravo, promena se već događa. Bar u Americi mnogi muškarci se ponose što kuvaju i potpuno su opsednuti šporetima. Oni su i u porođajnim salama. Uzimaju roditeljska odsustva kad god mogu. Vode bebu u šetnju ili smiruju dvogodišnjaka podjednako dobro kao i njihove žene, i sve veći broj njih radi kućne poslove. Zaista, sada postoji mnogo muškaraca na fakultetu koji počinju da kažu: "Želim da brinem o porodici iz kuće." To je bilo u potpunosti nezamislivo pre 50 ili čak 30 godina. U Norveškoj, gde muškarci imaju odmah tromesečno roditeljsko odsustvo ali ga gube, ako odluče da ga ne uzmu, visoki vladin zvaničnik mi je rekao da kompanije počinju da traže muškarce - buduće očeve kao zaposlene i postaju sumnjičavi ako oni nisu uzeli odsustvo dok su imali decu. To znači da počinje da se čini kao mana ličnosti ako ne želite da budete potpuno angažovani otac.
So I was raised to believe that championing women's rights meant doing everything we could to get women to the top. And I still hope that I live long enough to see men and women equally represented at all levels of the work force. But I've come to believe that we have to value family every bit as much as we value work, and that we should entertain the idea that doing right by those we love will make all of us better at everything we do.
Pa, ja sam odgajana da verujem da predvođenje u ženskim pravima znači da radimo sve što možemo da dovedemo žene do vrha. I još uvek se nadam da ću poživeti dovoljno dugo da vidim muškarce i žene podjednako predstavljene u svim nivoima radne snage. Ali došla sam do uverenja da moramo da vrednujemo porodicu podjednako koliko vrednujemo posao, i da bi trebalo da zastupamo ideju da ako radimo ispravne stvari za one koje volimo, to će nas učiniti boljim u svemu što radimo.
Thirty years ago, Carol Gilligan, a wonderful psychologist, studied adolescent girls and identified an ethic of care, an element of human nature every bit as important as the ethic of justice. It turns out that "you don't care" is just as much a part of who we are as "that's not fair." Bill Gates agrees. He argues that the two great forces of human nature are self-interest and caring for others. Let's bring them both together. Let's make the feminist revolution a humanist revolution. As whole human beings, we will be better caregivers and breadwinners. You may think that can't happen, but I grew up in a society where my mother put out small vases of cigarettes for dinner parties, where blacks and whites used separate bathrooms, and where everybody claimed to be heterosexual. Today, not so much. The revolution for human equality can happen. It is happening. It will happen. How far and how fast is up to us.
Pre trideset godina, Kerol Giligen, predivni psiholog, proučavala je adolescentkinje i otkrila etiku o brizi, element ljudske prirode podjednako važan kao i etika pravde. Ispostavlja se da je "tebi nije stalo" podjednako deo onoga ko smo kao i "to nije pošteno." Bil Gejts se slaže. On tvrdi da su dve velike sile ljudske prirode samointeres i briga za druge. Hajde da ih udružimo. Hajde da učinimo feminističku revoluciju ljudskom revolucijom. Kao celokupna ljudska bića, bićemo bolji staratelji i hranitelji. Možda mislite da se to neće dogoditi, ali ja sam odrasla u društvu gde je moja majka vadila male vaze sa cigaretama na večernjim zabavama, gde su crnci i belci koristili odvojena kupatila, i gde su svi tvrdili da su heteroseksualci. Danas, nije tako. Revolucija ljudske ravnopravnosti može da se dogodi. Događa se. I dogodiće se. Do koje mere i koliko brzo, zavisi od nas.
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)