My seven-year-old grandson sleeps just down the hall from me, and he wakes up a lot of mornings and he says, "You know, this could be the best day ever." And other times, in the middle of the night, he calls out in a tremulous voice, "Nana, will you ever get sick and die?"
Chumba cha mjukuu wangu mwenye miaka saba kipo karibu na changu mara nyingi huamka asubuhi na kusema, "Unajua, leo inaweza kuwa siku bora kuliko zote. " Na mara nyingine, usiku wa manane, huita kwa sauti za woga "Nana, utaumwa na kufa siku moja?"
I think this pretty much says it for me and most of the people I know, that we're a mixed grill of happy anticipation and dread. So I sat down a few days before my 61st birthday, and I decided to compile a list of everything I know for sure. There's so little truth in the popular culture, and it's good to be sure of a few things.
Nadhani hili linasema mengi kwangu na watu wengi ninaowajua, kwamba sisi ni mchanganyiko wa matarajio yenye furaha na hofu. Hivyo, siku chache kabla ya kutimiza miaka 61, nilitafakari nikaamua kukusanya orodha ya kila kitu ninachojua. Kuna ukweli mchache sana katika utamaduni wetu, na ni vizuri tuwe na uhakika na mambo machache.
For instance, I am no longer 47, although this is the age I feel, and the age I like to think of myself as being. My friend Paul used to say in his late 70s that he felt like a young man with something really wrong with him.
Kwa mfano, umri wangu sio 47 tena, Ingawa ndio umri ninaojisikia, au umri ningependa kufikiri niko. Rafiki yangu Paulo alisema katika miaka yake ya 70 kwamba alihisi kama kijana mwenye matatizo mengi tu.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Our true person is outside of time and space, but looking at the paperwork, I can, in fact, see that I was born in 1954. My inside self is outside of time and space. It doesn't have an age. I'm every age I've ever been, and so are you, although I can't help mentioning as an aside that it might have been helpful if I hadn't followed the skin care rules of the '60s, which involved getting as much sun as possible while slathered in baby oil and basking in the glow of a tinfoil reflector shield.
Nafsi yetu ya kweli ipo nje ya muda na sehemu lakini nikiangalia nyaraka, Naweza, kwa kweli, kuona kwamba nilizaliwa mwaka wa 1954 Hisia zangu binafsi zipo nje ya muda na sehemu. Haina umri. Nina kila umri ambao nimewahi kuwa,na wewe pia, Ingawa siwezi kuepuka kusema, kwamba ingesaidia kama nisingefuata kanuni za huduma ya ngozi za miaka ya 60, ambayo ilihusisha kuota jua kama iwezekanavyo nikijisiliba mafuta ya mtoto na kumeremeta chini ya foii ya aluminium
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
It was so liberating, though, to face the truth that I was no longer in the last throes of middle age, that I decided to write down every single true thing I know. People feel really doomed and overwhelmed these days, and they keep asking me what's true. So I hope that my list of things I'm almost positive about might offer some basic operating instructions to anyone who is feeling really overwhelmed or beleaguered.
Nilijisikia uhuru sana, ingawa, nilbidi kuutizama ukweli kwamba sikuwa tena katika miaka ya mwisho ya rika la kati, hivyo niliamua kuandika kila kitu nilichojua. Siku hizi watu wamejisikia wameelemewa, na huniuliza ukweli ni upi. Hivyo, natumaini orodha ya vitu ninavzo fahamu kwau fasaha itatoa misingi ya uendeshaji kwa mtu yeyote anayehisi kuelemewa au kuchanganyikiwa.
Number one: the first and truest thing is that all truth is a paradox. Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift, and it's impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It's been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely sensitive. It's so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder if we're being punked. It's filled simultaneously with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty, desperate poverty, floods and babies and acne and Mozart, all swirled together. I don't think it's an ideal system.
Namba moja: Jambo la kwanza na ukweli kabisa ni kwamba ukweli wote ni kitendawili. Maisha yana thamani, na zawadi nzuri sana kupita maelezo, na haiwezekani kutelezeka kwa kiumbe cha mwili. Imekuwa uwiano mbaya sana kwa wale ambao tulizaliwa nyeti sana. Ni vigumu sana na ni ajabu kwamba wakati mwingine tunajiuliza kama tunataniwa. Imejazwa na wema na uzuri wa umbo, umasikini, Mafuriko na watoto na chunusi na Mozart, vyote vilibiringizwa pamoja. Sidhani ni mfumo mzuri.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Number two: almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes --
Namba mbili: karibia kila kitu kitafanya kazi tena ukikichomoa kwa dakika chache --
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
(Applause)
(Makofi)
including you.
hata na wewe.
Three: there is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind of lasting way, unless you're waiting for an organ. You can't buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind. This is the most horrible truth, and I so resent it. But it's an inside job, and we can't arrange peace or lasting improvement for the people we love most in the world. They have to find their own ways, their own answers. You can't run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and ChapStick on their hero's journey. You have to release them. It's disrespectful not to. And if it's someone else's problem, you probably don't have the answer, anyway.
Tatu: karibia, hakuna chochote nje ya wewe kitakachokusaidia kwa njia yoyote ya kudumu, isipokuwa kama unasubiria kiungo. Huwezi kununua, kutekeleza au kuchumbia utulivu na amani. Huu ni kweli ya kutisha, na ninauchukia. Lakini ni kazi ya ndani, na hatuwezi kupanga amani au uboreshaji wa kudumu kwa ajili ya watu tunaowapenda duniani. Wanapaswa kutafuta njia yao wenyewe, majibu wenyewe. Huwezi kuenda pamoja na watoto wako wakubwa kwenye safari yao ya kishujaa. Unapaswa kuwaacha huru. Sio heshima kuwavunga. Na kama ni tatizo la mtu mwingine, labda hata wewe hauna jibu, pia.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don't get your help and goodness all over everybody.
Msaada wetu mara nyingi hausaidii. Msaada wetu mara nyingi ni sumu. Na msaada ni upande chanya wa udhibiti. Acha kusaidia sana. Usisambaze msaada wako na wema kwa kila mtu.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
(Applause)
(Makofi)
This brings us to number four: everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy and scared, even the people who seem to have it most together. They are much more like you than you would believe, so try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides. It will only make you worse than you already are.
Hii inatuleta kwa namba nne: kila mtu amevunjika, amevunjwa, ana wivu na hofu zake, hata wanaoonekana kuwa pamoja zaidi. Wako kama wewe kuliko unavzoweza kuamini, hivyo usilinganisha undani wako na nje za watu wengine. Itakufanya ujisikie ovyo kuliko ulivyo tayari.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Also, you can't save, fix or rescue any of them or get anyone sober. What helped me get clean and sober 30 years ago was the catastrophe of my behavior and thinking. So I asked some sober friends for help, and I turned to a higher power. One acronym for God is the "gift of desperation," G-O-D, or as a sober friend put it, by the end I was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.
Pia, huwezi kuwaokoa, kurekebisha au kuwakomboa au kumpatia mtu yeyote busara. Kilichosaidia kupata nafuu na kukaa safi na madawa kwa miaka 30 iliyopita ilikuwa janga la tabia na fikra zangu. Hivyo niliomba msaada kwa marafiki, na nikamrudia muumbaji. Kifupisho kimoja cha Mungu ni "zawadi ya kukata tamaa," M-U-N-G-U, Au kama rafiki yangu mmoja alivyoiweka, mwishoni nilikuwa nikipungukiwa kuliko nilivyoweza kupunguza viwango vyangu.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
So God might mean, in this case, "me running out of any more good ideas."
Kwa hiyo Mungu anaweza kumaanisha, katika kesi hii, "mimi kuishiwa na mawazo yoyote mazuri zaidi."
While fixing and saving and trying to rescue is futile, radical self-care is quantum, and it radiates out from you into the atmosphere like a little fresh air. It's a huge gift to the world. When people respond by saying, "Well, isn't she full of herself," just smile obliquely like Mona Lisa and make both of you a nice cup of tea. Being full of affection for one's goofy, self-centered, cranky, annoying self is home. It's where world peace begins.
Wakati kurekebisha na kuokoa na kujaribu kuokoa ni bure, Kujitegemea na kujitunza ni quantum, na hujiangaza katika mazingira yako kama hewa safi. Ni zawadi kubwa kwa duniani. Watu wanapojibu kwa kusema, "Mmh, mtizame anavyojisikia," tabasamu tu kama vile Mona Lisa na kuwatengenezea kikombe cha chai. Kuonyesha upendo kikamilifu kwa uzuzu wa mtu, ubinafsi, ukimwa, usumbufu wako ni nyumbani. Ndipo amani ya dunia huanzia.
Number five: chocolate with 75 percent cacao is not actually a food.
Namba tano: chokoleti yenye asilimia 75 kakao sio kweli chakula.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Its best use is as a bait in snake traps or to balance the legs of wobbly chairs. It was never meant to be considered an edible.
Matumizi yake bora ni katika mitego ya nyoka au kusawazisha miguu ya viti vinavyotetema. Haikuwahi kumaanishwa kama chakula.
Number six --
Namba sita
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
writing. Every writer you know writes really terrible first drafts, but they keep their butt in the chair. That's the secret of life. That's probably the main difference between you and them. They just do it. They do it by prearrangement with themselves. They do it as a debt of honor. They tell stories that come through them one day at a time, little by little. When my older brother was in fourth grade, he had a term paper on birds due the next day, and he hadn't started. So my dad sat down with him with an Audubon book, paper, pencils and brads -- for those of you who have gotten a little less young and remember brads -- and he said to my brother, "Just take it bird by bird, buddy. Just read about pelicans and then write about pelicans in your own voice. And then find out about chickadees, and tell us about them in your own voice. And then geese."
Kuandika. Kila mwandishi unayemjua huanaandika rasimu mbaya za mwanzo, Lakini hutuliza kitako kwenye kiti. Hiyo ndio siri ya maisha. Hiyo labda ndio tofauti kuu kati yako na wao. Wanafanya tu. Wanafanya kwa makubaiano na wao wenyewe. Wanafanya katika deni la heshima yao. Wanasimulia hadithi kutokea kwao siku moja banda ya nyingine, kidogo kidogo. Kaka yangu alipokuwa darasa la nne, alitakiwa kuwasilisha insha juu ya ndege kesho yake, Na hakuanza bado. Basi baba akaketi naye na kitabu cha Audubon, karatasi, penseli na brads - kwa wale ambao mmekuwaa wadogo kidogo na mna kukumbuka brads - na akamwambia kaka yangu, "Chukua tu ndege kwa ndege, rafiki. Soma tu juu ya Mwari na kisha andika kuhusu Mwari kwa sauti yako mwenyewe. Na kisha soma kuhusu chickadee, na utuambie kwa sauti yako mwenyewe. Na kisha bata bukini. "
So the two most important things about writing are: bird by bird and really god-awful first drafts. If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours, and you get to tell it. If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should've behaved better.
Hivyo vitu viwili muhimu kuhusu kuandika ni: ndege kwa ndege na kwa kweli rasimu ovyo za mwanzo. Kama hujui uanzie wapi kumbuka unamiliki kila kitu kilichokutokea na unaweza kusimulia. Ikiwa watu walitaka uandike mazuri kuhusu wao, wangemudu tabia zao vizuri zaidi.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
(Applause)
(Makofi)
You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs -- your truth, your version of things -- in your own voice. That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born.
Utajisikia ovyo siku moja utakapoamka na hujaandika juu ya mambo yanazo anazokukereketa, unayotunza moyoni: hadithi zako, kumbukumbu, maono na nyimbo - Ukweli wako, mtizamo wako wa vitu - katika sauti yako mwenyewe. Hicho pekee ndicho unachokubui kutupatia, Hiyo ndiyo sababu ulizaliwa.
Seven: publication and temporary creative successes are something you have to recover from. They kill as many people as not. They will hurt, damage and change you in ways you cannot imagine. The most degraded and evil people I've ever known are male writers who've had huge best sellers. And yet, returning to number one, that all truth is paradox, it's also a miracle to get your work published, to get your stories read and heard. Just try to bust yourself gently of the fantasy that publication will heal you, that it will fill the Swiss-cheesy holes inside of you. It can't. It won't. But writing can. So can singing in a choir or a bluegrass band. So can painting community murals or birding or fostering old dogs that no one else will.
Saba: kuchapishwa na mafanikio ya ubunifu ya muda mfupi ni kitu ambacho unapaswa kuponywa kutoka. Vinaua watu wengi kama visivo. Vitakuumiza, kukuharibu na kukubadilisha kwa njia ambazo huwezi kufikiria. Watu dhilifu na waovu kuliko wote niliowahi kujua ni waandishi wa kiume walioandika vitabu vilivyo uza vizuri mno. Na bado, tukurudia namba moja, kwamba ukweli wote ni kitendawili, Pia ni muujiza kupata kazi yako kuchapishwa, Ili hadithi zako zisomwe na kusikika. Jaribu tu kujitahidi polepole na fantasia ambayo itakuponya, itajaza mashimo ya chizi ya Uswisi ndani yako. haiwezekani. haitokuwa. Lakini uandishi unaweza. Pia unaweza kuimba kwenye kwaya au bendi. Pia uchoraji au ufugaji wa ndege au kukuza mbwa wazee ambao hakuna mtu mwingine anataka.
Number eight: families. Families are hard, hard, hard, no matter how cherished and astonishing they may also be. Again, see number one.
Ya nane: familia. Familia ni ngumu, ngumu, ngumu, haijalishi namna gani tunaipenda au wavyotushangaza. Tena, rudia namba moja
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
At family gatherings where you suddenly feel homicidal or suicidal --
Katika mikusanyiko ya familia ambapo ghafla hujisikia kuua au kujiua --
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
remember that in all cases, it's a miracle that any of us, specifically, were conceived and born. Earth is forgiveness school. It begins with forgiving yourself, and then you might as well start at the dinner table. That way, you can do this work in comfortable pants.
Kumbuka kwamba katika hali zote, Ni muujiza kwamba yeyote kati yetu hasa, alizaliwa. Dunia ni shule ya msamaha. Inaanza kwa kujisamehe, na kisha unaweza pia kuanza kusamehe watu mezani. Hivyo unaweza kufanya kazi hio katika hali tulivu.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
When William Blake said that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love, he knew that your family would be an intimate part of this, even as you want to run screaming for your cute little life. But I promise you are up to it. You can do it, Cinderella, you can do it, and you will be amazed.
William Blake aliposema kuwa tuko hapa kujifunza kuhimili miale ya upendo, alijua kwamba familia yako itakuwa sehemu kubwa ya hili, Hata unapotaka kukimbia, kupiga kelele kwa ajili ya kimaisha chako. Lakini ninakuahidi uko tiyari. Unaweza, Sindereli, unaweza, Na utashangaa.
Nine: food. Try to do a little better. I think you know what I mean.
Tisa: chakula. Jaribu kufanya vizuri zaidi. Nadhani unajua ninachmaanisha.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
Number 10 --
Namba 10 --
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
grace. Grace is spiritual WD-40, or water wings. The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin and me exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild. Go figure.
neema. Neema ni WD-40 ya kiroho, Au mabawa ya maji. Fumbo la neema ni kwamba Mungu anapenda Henry Kissinger na Vladimir Putin na mimi sawa kama anavyompenda mjukuu wako mpya. Embu fikiria.
(Laughter)
(Vicheko)
The movement of grace is what changes us, heals us and heals our world. To summon grace, say, "Help," and then buckle up. Grace finds you exactly where you are, but it doesn't leave you where it found you. And grace won't look like Casper the Friendly Ghost, regrettably. But the phone will ring or the mail will come and then against all odds, you'll get your sense of humor about yourself back. Laughter really is carbonated holiness. It helps us breathe again and again and gives us back to ourselves, and this gives us faith in life and each other. And remember -- grace always bats last.
Harakati ya neema ndio kinachotubadilisha, hutuponya na huponya ulimwengu wetu. Kuita neema, sema, "Nisaidie," na kisha jiandae. Neema hukukuta wewe mahali ulipo, lakini haikuachi itakapokukuta. Na neema haitofanana na Casper zimwi rafiki, kwa bahati mbaya. Lakini simu itapiga au barua itakuja Na kisha dhidi ya vikwazo vyote, utapata ucheshi wako kuhusu mwenyewe tena. Kicheko kweli ni utakatifu wenye kaboni. Inatusaidia kupumua tena na tena Na kujipa tena, Na hutupa imani katika maisha na wengine. Na kumbuka - daima neema huja mwishoni.
Eleven: God just means goodness. It's really not all that scary. It means the divine or a loving, animating intelligence, or, as we learned from the great "Deteriorata," "the cosmic muffin." A good name for God is: "Not me." Emerson said that the happiest person on Earth is the one who learns from nature the lessons of worship. So go outside a lot and look up. My pastor said you can trap bees on the bottom of mason jars without lids because they don't look up, so they just walk around bitterly bumping into the glass walls. Go outside. Look up. Secret of life.
Eleven: Mungu anamaanisha wema tu. Hata haiogopeshi. Ina maana ya kimungu au upendo, kimaarifa au, kama tulivyojifunza kutoka kwa "Deteriorata" mkuu "keki ya kikosmiki." Jina jema la Mungu ni: "Sio mimi." Emerson alisema mtu mwenye furaha zaidi duniani ni anayejifunza ibada kutoka kwa mazingira. Hivyo nenda nje na angalia juu. Mchungaji wangu alisema unaweza kutega nyuki ndani ya glasi bila kufunika kwa sababu hawaangalii juu, hivyo wanatembea tu kwa huzuni na kuingia ndani ya glasi. Nenda nje. Tazama juu Siri ya maisha.
And finally: death. Number 12. Wow and yikes. It's so hard to bear when the few people you cannot live without die. You'll never get over these losses, and no matter what the culture says, you're not supposed to. We Christians like to think of death as a major change of address, but in any case, the person will live again fully in your heart if you don't seal it off. Like Leonard Cohen said, "There are cracks in everything, and that's how the light gets in." And that's how we feel our people again fully alive.
Na hatimaye: kifo. Namba 12. Wow na yikes. Ni vigumu kuhimili kifo cha watu wachache tunaowapenda kwa dhati. Kamwe huwezi kusahau hasara hizi, haijalishi utamaduni unasemaje, hautakiwi. Sisi wakristo tunapenda kufikiria kifo kama mabadiliko makubwa ya anwani, Lakini katika hali yoyote, mtu huishi tena katika moyo wako usipoufunga na sili. Kama Leonard Cohen alisema, "Kuna nyufa katika kila kitu, na ndio jinsi mwanga unavyoingia. Na ndivyo tunavyojisikia wapendwa wetu wakiwa hai tena.
Also, the people will make you laugh out loud at the most inconvenient times, and that's the great good news. But their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you. Grief and friends, time and tears will heal you to some extent. Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate and moisturize you and the ground on which you walk.
Pia, watu watakufanya ucheke kwa nguvu katika mida isio sahihi, na hiyo ndiyo habari njema. Lakini kutokuwepo kwao pia utakuacha na ndoto mbaya na ukimisi nyumbani daima Huzuni na marafiki, muda na machozi vitakuponya kwa kiasi fulani. Machozi yatakuosha na kukubatiza na kukuhidrati na kukurutubisha na ardhi unayotembelea.
Do you know the first thing that God says to Moses? He says, "Take off your shoes." Because this is holy ground, all evidence to the contrary. It's hard to believe, but it's the truest thing I know. When you're a little bit older, like my tiny personal self, you realize that death is as sacred as birth. And don't worry -- get on with your life. Almost every single death is easy and gentle with the very best people surrounding you for as long as you need. You won't be alone. They'll help you cross over to whatever awaits us. As Ram Dass said, "When all is said and done, we're really just all walking each other home."
Unajua kitu cha kwanza Mungu amwambia Musa? Anasema, "Vua viatu vyako." Kwa sababu hii ni ardhi takatifu, ushahidi wote unakanua hili. Ni vigumu kuamini, lakini ni jambo la ukweli kabisa nalojua . Unapokuwa mzee kidogo, kama mtoto mie, unatambua kifo ni takatifu kama kuzaliwa. Na hujali tena - bali uendelea na maisha yako. Karibu kila kifo ni rahisi na polepole pamoja na wapendwa wakikuzunguka kulingana na unavyohitaji. Hautokuwa peke yako. Watakusaidia kuvuka kwa chochote kinachokusubiri. Kama Ram Dass alisema, "Yote yakishasemwa na kutendwa, tunatembea tu katika nyumba ya kila mmoja wetu. "
I think that's it, but if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.
Nadhani nimemaliza, lakini kama nikifikiria kitu kingine chochote, Nitawajulisha.
Thank you.
Ahsante.
(Applause)
(Makofi)
Thank you.
Ahsante.
(Applause)
(Makofi)
I was very surprised to be asked to come, because it is not my realm, technology or design or entertainment. I mean, my realm is sort of faith and writing and kind of lurching along together. And I was surprised, but they said I could give a talk, and I said I'd love to.
Nilishangaa sana nilipoulizwa kuja hapa, Kwa sababu sio eneo langu, Teknolojia au tarakibu au burudani. Yaani eneo langu ni imani na uandishi na huambatana pamoja. Na nilishangaa, Lakini waliniuliza niwasilishe majadiliano, na nilikubali.
(Video) If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours and you get to tell it.
(Video) Kama hujui utaanzia wapi, kukumbuka kwamba unamiliki kila kitu kilichokutokea na una haki ya kusimulia.
Anne Lamott: People are very frightened and feel really doomed in America these days, and I just wanted to help people get their sense of humor about it and to realize how much isn't a problem. If you take an action, take a really healthy or loving or friendly action, you'll have loving and friendly feelings.
Anne Lamott: Watu wana hofu sana na kuhisi kweli wamepotea katika Amerika ya leo, na nilitaka tu kuwasaidia watu kuuona ucheshi kuhusu hilo na kutambua ni kiasi gani sio tatizo. Ukikuchukua hatua, chukua kweli hatua katika upendo, katika kirafiki, utabaki na hisia za upendo na urafiki.