So my grandfather told me when I was a little girl, "If you say a word often enough, it becomes you." And having grown up in a segregated city, Baltimore, Maryland, I sort of use that idea to go around America with a tape recorder -- thank God for technology -- to interview people, thinking that if I walked in their words -- which is also why I don't wear shoes when I perform -- if I walked in their words, that I could sort of absorb America. I was also inspired by Walt Whitman, who wanted to absorb America and have it absorb him.
Dakle, kad sam bila djevojčica, djed mi je rekao: “Ako ponoviš riječ dovoljno puta, ona postaje dijelom tebe.” Budući da sam odrasla u segragiranom gradu Baltimoru, u Marylandu, u biti sam koristila tu ideju dok sam išla po Americi s kazetofonom - hvala Bogu na tehnologiji – intervjuirajući ljude, s mišlju da ako hodam u njihovim riječima - što je ujedno i razlog zašto ne nosim cipele dok nastupam – da ako hodam u njihovim riječima, mogu na neki način upiti Ameriku. Također me inspirirao i Walt Whitman, koji je htio upiti Ameriku, i htio je da ona upije njega.
So these four characters are going to be from that work that I've been doing for many years now, and well over, I don't know, a couple of thousand people I've interviewed. Anybody out here old enough to know Studs Terkel, that old radio man? So I thought he would be the perfect person to go to to ask about a defining moment in American history. You know, he was "born in 1912, the year the Titanic sank, greatest ship every built. Hits the tip of an iceberg, and bam, it went down. It went down and I came up. Wow, some century." (Laughter)
Tako da su ova četiri lika dio rada, kojeg provodim već mnogo godina i tijekom kojeg sam intervjuirala, ne znam, par tisuća ljudi. Da li je itko ovdje dovoljno star da je čuo za Studsa Terkela, starog tipa s radija? Smatrala sam da bi on bio savršena osoba, koju mogu pitati o ključnom trenutku američke povijesti. Znate, rođen je “1912., godina kada je potonuo Titanik, najveći brod ikad sagrađen. Udari u vrh sante leda i bum, potone. On je potonuo, ja sam izronio. Ajme, kakvog li stoljeća.” (Smijeh)
So this is his answer about a defining moment in American history. "Defining moment in American history, I don't think there's one; you can't say Hiroshima, that's a big one -- I can't think of any one moment I would say is a defining moment. The gradual slippage -- 'slippage' is the word used by the people in Watergate, moral slippage -- it's a gradual kind of thing, combination of things. You see, we also have the technology. I say, less and less the human touch.
Dakle, ovo je njegov odgovor na pitanje o ključnom trenutku američke povijesti. Ključni trenutak američke povijesti. Mislim da ne postoji; ne možeš reći Hirošima, to je važan događaj - Ne mogu se sjetiti niti jednog trenutka za kojeg bi rekao da je ključan. Postepeno podbacivanje – podbacivanje je riječ, koju su koristili ljudi u Watergate-u, moralno podbacivanje - to je postepena stvar, kombinacija stvari. Vidite, također imamo tehnologiju. Kažem, sve manje i manje ljudskog dodira.
"Oh, let me kind of tell you a funny little play bit. The Atlanta airport is a modern airport, and they should leave the gate there. These trains that take you out to a concourse and on to a destination. And these trains are smooth, and they're quiet and they're efficient. And there's a voice on the train, you know the voice was a human voice. You see in the old days we had robots, robots imitated humans. Now we have humans imitating robots. So we got this voice on this train: Concourse One: Omaha, Lincoln. Concourse Two: Dallas, Fort Worth. Same voice. Just as a train is about to go, a young couple rush in and they're just about to close the pneumatic doors. And that voice, without losing a beat, says, 'Because of late entry, we're delayed 30 seconds.' Just then, everybody's looking at this couple with hateful eyes and the couple's going like this, you know, shrinking. Well, I'd happened to have had a couple of drinks before boarding -- I do that to steel my nerves -- and so I imitate a train call, holding my hand on my -- 'George Orwell, your time has come,' you see. Well, some of you are laughing. Everybody laughs when I say that, but not on this train. Silence. And so suddenly they're looking at me. So here I am with the couple, the three of us shrinking at the foot of Calvary about to be up, you know.
Dajte da vam kažem samo jednu kratku, smiješnu priču. Zračna luka u Atlanti je suvremena zračna luka, i trebali bi tamo ostaviti vrata. Ti vlakovi koji te voze do raznih okupljališta i do tvog odredišta. I ti vlakovi voze glatko, tihi su i učinkoviti. I postoji glas na tom vlaku, i znate to je ljudski glas. Vidite, prije smo imali robote, i roboti su imitirali ljude. Sada imamo ljude, koji imitiraju robote. Tako imamo taj glas na tom vlaku: Okupljalište Jedan: Omaha, Lincoln. Okupljalište Dva: Dallas, Fort Worth. Isti glas. Upravo dok se vlak pripremao za polazak, jedan mladi par je uskočio i upravo su se zatvarala pneumatska vrata. I taj glas, bez ikakve stanke, kaže, "Zbog kasnog ukrcavanja, kasnimo 30 sekundi." Upravo su tada svi pogledali s mržnjom u očima u taj par a par je radio ovo, znate, smanjivao se. Pa, ja sam eto imao par pića prije ukrcavanja - radim to da si smirim živce - i tako sam imitirao poziv vlaka, držeći svoju ruku na svojim - “George Orwell, tvoje vrijeme je stiglo.”, vidite. Pa, dio vas se smije. Svi se smiju kada kažem to, ali ne i na ovom vlaku. Tišina. I odjedanput svi gledaju u mene. I eto me s tim parom, nas troje, smanjujemo se u podnožju Kalvarije, i cekamo da budemo razapeti.
"Just then I see a baby, a little baby in the lap of a mother. I know it's Hispanic because she's speaking Spanish to her companion. So I'm going to talk to the baby. So I say to the baby, holding my hand over my mouth because my breath must be 100 proof, I say to the baby, 'Sir or Madam, what is your considered opinion of the human species?' And the baby looks, you know, the way babies look at you clearly, starts laughing, starts busting out with this crazy little laugh. I say, 'Thank God for a human reaction, we haven't lost yet.'
Upravo sam u tom trenu primjetio dijete, malo dijete u majčinom krilu. Znam da je latino, jer majka prica španjolski sa svojom pratnjom. I tako krenem razgovarati s djetetom. I kažem djetetu, držeći ruku preko usta, jer mi je dah sigurno 100% alkohol, kažem djetetu: "Gospodine ili Gospođo, koje je vaše uvjerenje o ljudskoj vrsti?" I dijete je pogledalo, znate kako djeca mogu bistro pogledati, počelo se smijati k’o ludo, pucati od smijeha. Rekao sam, “Hvala Bogu na ljudskoj reakciji, nismo još izgubili!”
"But you see, the human touch, you see, it's disappearing. You know, you see, you've got to question the official truth. You know the thing that was so great about Mark Twain -- you know we honor Mark Twain, but we don't read him. We read 'Huck Finn,' of course, we read 'Huck Finn' of course. I mean, Huck, of course, was tremendous. Remember that great scene on the raft, remember what Huck did? You see, here's Huck; he's an illiterate kid; he's had no schooling, but there's something in him. And the official truth, the truth was, the law was, that a black man was a property, was a thing, you see.
Ali vidite, ljudski dodir nestaje. Znate, morate propitkivati službenu istinu. Znate, ono što je bilo odlično kod Marka Twaina - znate, odajemo počast Marku Twainu, ali ne čitamo njegova djela. Čitamo Hucka Finna, naravno, čitamo Hucka Finna. Mislim, Huck je bio izvanredan. Sjećate li se onog odličnog prizora na splavi, sjećate li se što je učinio? Znači, imate Hucka, nepismenog klinca, nije bio školovan, ali ima nešto u njemu. A službena istina, istina je bila, zakon je bio, da su crnci bili vlasništvo, bili su stvari, vidite.
And Huck gets on the raft with a property named Jim, a slave, see. And he hears that Jim is going to go and take his wife and kids and steal them from the woman who owns them, and Huck says, 'Ooh, oh my God, ooh, ooh -- that woman, that woman never did anybody any harm. Ooh, he's going to steal; he's going to steal; he's going to do a terrible thing.' Just then, two slavers caught up, guys chasing slaves, looking for Jim. 'Anybody up on that raft with you?' Huck says, 'Yeah.' 'Is he black or white?' 'White.' And they go off. And Huck said, 'Oh my God, oh my God, I lied, I lied, ooh, I did a terrible thing, did a terrible thing -- why do I feel so good?'
I Huck je otišao na splav, sa vlasništvom imenom Jim, robom, znate. I čuo je da će Jim otići i da će uzeti svoju ženu i djecu, i da će ih ukrasti ženi, koja ih posjeduje, i Huck kaže 'O, pobogu, o, pobogu - ta žena, ta žena nije nikada učinila nikome ništa nažao. On će ukrasti, ukrasti će, učinit će strašnu stvar.' Upravo su ih tada sustigla dva lovca na robove, tražeći Jima. "Jel’ netko s tobom na toj splavi?" Huck odgovori "Da." "Je li crnac ili bijelac?", "Bijelac." I onda su otišli. I Huck kaže "Bože moj, Bože moj, lagao sam, lagao sam, učinio sam užasnu svar, učinio sam užasnu stvar - zašto se onda osjećam tako dobro?"
"But it's the goodness of Huck, that stuff that Huck's been made of, you see, all been buried; it's all been buried. So the human touch, you see, it's disappearing. So you ask about a defining moment -- ain't no defining moment in American history for me. It's an accretion of moments that add up to where we are now, where trivia becomes news. And more and more, less and less awareness of the pain of the other. Huh. You know, I don't know if you could use this or not, but I was quoting Wright Morris, a writer from Nebraska, who says, 'We're more and more into communications and less and less into communication.' Okay, kids, I got to scram, got to go see my cardiologist." And that's Studs Terkel. (Applause)
Ali je ta dobrota u Hucku, ono od čega je Huck sačinjen, bila zakopana, sve je bilo zakopano. Tako da ljudski dodir, vidite, on nestaje. Pitate za ključni trenutak. Ne postoji ključni trenutak u američkoj povijesti, ako mene pitate. To je nakupljanje trenutaka, koji se gomilaju, i dovode nas gdje smo sada, gdje trivijalne stvari postaju vijest. A sve više i više, sve manje svijesti o patnji drugoga. Ha. Ne znam da li možete iskoristiti ovo ili ne, ali citirao sam Wrighta Morrisa, pisca iz Nebraske, koji kaže, "Sve se više bavimo komunikacijama, a sve manje komuniciramo." U redu, djeco, brišem odavdje, moram do svog kardiologa. I to je bio Studs Terkel. (Pljesak)
So, talk about risk taking. I'm going to do somebody that nobody likes. You know, most actors want to do characters that are likeable -- well, not always, but the notion, especially at a conference like this, I like to inspire people. But since this was called "risk taking," I'm doing somebody who I never do, because she's so unlikeable that one person actually came backstage and told me to take her out of the show she was in. And I'm doing her because I think we think of risk, at a conference like this, as a good thing.
Tako, kad već govorimo o riskiranju, sada ću odglumiti nekoga, koga nitko ne voli. Znate, većina glumaca žele glumiti likove koje je lako voljeti - ne uvijek, ali je misao vodilja, posebice na konferenciji, kao što je ova, da inspiriram ljude. Ali, s obzirom da se ovo zove riskiranje, odglumit ću nekoga, koga nikad ne glumim, zato što se nikome ne sviđa u tolikoj mjeri da mi je jednom jedna osoba prišla nakon nastupa i rekla da je izbacim iz predstave. Sada ću je odglumiti, jer mislim da razmišljamo o riziku, na konferenciji ovog tipa, kao o dobroj stvari.
But there are certain other connotations to the word "risk," and the same thing about the word "nature." What is nature? Maxine Greene, who's a wonderful philosopher who's as old as Studs, and was the head of a philosophy -- great, big philosophy kind of an organization -- I went to her and asked her what are the two things that she doesn't know, that she still wants to know. And she said, "Well, personally, I still feel like I have to curtsey when I see the president of my university. And I still feel as though I've got to get coffee for my male colleagues, even though I've outlived most of them." And she said, "And then intellectually, I don't know enough about the negative imagination. And September 11th certainly taught us that that's a whole area we don't investigate."
Ali postoje i druga značenja koja se pridaju riječi rizik, a isto se događa i sa riječi priroda. Što je priroda? Maxine Green, koja je predivna filozofkinja, ista generacija kao i Studs, i bila je na čelu filozofije - velike filozofske organizacije. Otišla sam do nje i pitala je, koje su dvije stvari koje ne zna, a htjela bi znati. I rekla je, "Osobno, još uvijek imam osjećaj da se moram nakloniti predsjedniku svoga sveučilišta. I još uvijek imam osjećaj da moram donositi kavu svojim muškim kolegama, iako sam nadživjela mnoge od njih." I onda je rekla, "Intelektualno, ne znam dovoljno o negativnoj imaginaciji. A jedanaesti rujna nas je sigurno podučio da je to jedno cijelo podrucje, koje ne istražujemo."
So this piece is about a negative imagination. It raises questions about what nature is, what Mother Nature is, and about what a risk can be. And I got this in the Maryland Correctional Institute for Women. Everything I do is word for word off a tape. And I title things because I think people speak in organic poems, and this is called "A Mirror to Her Mouth." And this is an inmate named Paulette Jenkins.
Ovaj dio je o negativnoj imaginaciji. Postavlja pitanja o tome što je priroda, što je Majka Priroda, i što rizik može značiti. I došla sam do ovoga u Zatvoru za žene u Marylandu. Sve što izvodim je od riječi do riječi sa kazete. I dajem naslove, jer smatram da ljudi govore organskim pjesmama, a ovaj dio se zove “Ogledalo uz njena usta”. Ovo je zatvorenica Paulette Jenkins.
"I began to learn how to cover it up, because I didn't want nobody to know that this was happening in my home. I want everybody to think we were a normal family. I mean we had all the materialistic things, but that didn't make my children pain any less; that didn't make their fears subside. I ran out of excuses about how we got black eyes and busted lips and bruises. I didn't had no more excuses. And he beat me too. But that didn't change the fact that it was a nightmare for my family; it was a nightmare. And I failed them dramatically, because I allowed it to go on and on and on.
“Naučila sam prikrivati stvari, jer nisam htjela da itko zna da se ovo događa u mom domu. Htjela sam da svi misle da smo normalna obitelj. Imali smo sve materijalne stvari, ali to nije ublažilo bol moje djece; to nije utišalo njihov strah. Ponestalo mi je isprika o tome kako smo dobili masnicu na oku, otečene usne i modrice. Nisam imala više isprika. I tukao me. Ali to nije promijenilo činjenicu da je to bila noćna mora za moju obitelj. To je bila noćna mora. Užasno sam ih razočarala, zato što sam dopustila da sve to traje i traje i traje.
"But the night that Myesha got killed -- and the intensity just grew and grew and grew, until one night we came home from getting drugs, and he got angry with Myesha, and he started beating her, and he put her in a bathtub. Oh, he would use a belt. He had a belt because he had this warped perverted thing that Myesha was having sex with her little brother and they was fondling each other -- that would be his reason. I'm just talking about the particular night that she died. And so he put her in the bathtub, and I was in the bedroom with the baby.
Ali te noći kada je Myesha ubijena - a napetost je rasla i rasla i rasla sve do noći kada smo došli kući, nakon što smo nabavili drogu i on se naljutio na Myeshu, i počeo ju je tući, i stavio ju je u kadu. E da, koristio bi i remen. Imao je remen, jer je imao tu iskrivljenu, perverznu misao da Myesha spava sa svojim mlađim bratom i da su se milovali - to je bio njegov razlog. Pričam samo o toj noći kada je umrla. I tako ju je stavio u kadu, a ja sam bila u spavaćoj sobi sa djetetom.
"And four months before this happened, four months before Myesha died, I thought I could really fix this man. So I had a baby by him -- insane -- thinking that if I gave him his own kid, he would leave mine alone. And it didn't work, didn't work. And I ended up with three children, Houston, Myesha and Dominic, who was four months old when I came to jail.
A četiri mjeseca prije nego što se ovo dogodilo, četriri mjeseca prije nego sto je Myesha umrla, mislila sam da stvarno mogu popraviti tog čovjeka. Pa sam mu rodila dijete. Ludo. Mislila sam da ako mu dam njegovo vlastito dijete, ostavit će moje na miru. I nije upalilo, nije upalilo. Na kraju sam imala troje djece, Houstona, Myeshu i Dominica, koji je imao četiri mjeseca kada sam završila u zatvoru.
"And I was in the bedroom. Like I said, he had her in the bathroom and he -- he -- every time he hit her, she would fall. And she would hit her head on the tub. It happened continuously, repeatedly. I could hear it, but I dared not to move. I didn't move. I didn't even go and see what was happening. I just sat there and listened. And then he put her in the hallway. He told her, just set there. And so she set there for about four or five hours. And then he told her, get up. And when she got up, she says she couldn't see. Her face was bruised. She had a black eye. All around her head was just swollen; her head was about two sizes of its own size. I told him, 'Let her go to sleep.' He let her go to sleep.
Bila sam u spavaćoj sobi. I, kako sam rekla, oni su bili u kupaonici, a on - on - svaki put kada ju je udario, ona bi pala. I udarila bi glavom o kadu. Cijelo vrijeme se to događalo, ponavljalo se. Mogla sam čuti, ali se nisam usudila pomaknuti. Nisam se pomakla. Čak nisam ni otišla vidjeti što se događa. Samo sam sjedila i slušala. Tada ju je odveo u hodnik. Rekao joj je da sjedi tamo. I tako je ona sjedila tamo kojih četiri, pet sati. Onda joj je rekao da ustane. I kada se ustala, rekla je da ne vidi. Lice joj je bilo puno modrica. Imala je masnicu na oku. Cijela glava joj je bila otečena; bila je dvostruko veća nego normalno. Rekla sam mu da je pusti da ode spavati. I dopustio joj je da ode spavati.
"The next morning she was dead. He went in to check on her for school, and he got very excited. He says, 'She won't breathe.' I knew immediately that she was dead. I didn't even want to accept the fact that she was dead, so I went in and I put a mirror to her mouth -- there was no thing, nothing, coming out of her mouth. He said, he said, he said, 'We can't, we can't let nobody find out about this.' He say, 'You've got to help me.' I agree. I agree.
Sljedeće jutro je bila mrtva. Ušao je u sobu da provjeri da li je spremna za školu i postao je jako uznemiren. Rekao je, ne želi disati. Odmah sam znala da je mrtva. Nisam ni htjela prihvatiti činjenicu da je mrtva, zato sam ušla i prislonila sam ogledalo uz njena usta - nije bilo ničega, ništa nije izlazilo iz njenih usta. Rekao je, rekao je, rekao je, ne možemo, ne možemo dopustiti da itko sazna za ovo. Rekao je, moraš mi pomoći. Složila sam se. Složila sam se.
"I mean, I've been keeping a secret for years and years and years, so it just seemed like second hand to me, just to keep on keeping it a secret. So we went to the mall and we told a police that we had, like, lost her, that she was missing. We told a security guard that she was missing, though she wasn't missing. And we told the security guard what we had put on her and we went home and we dressed her in exactly the same thing that we had told the security guard that we had put on her.
Mislim, čuvala sam tajnu godinu, za godinom, za godinom, činilo mi se prirodnim da jednostavno nastavim čuvati tajnu. Stoga smo otišli u trgovački centar, i rekli smo policiji da smo je, kao, izgubili, da je nestala. Rekli smo zaštitaru da je nestala; ali nije nestala. I rekli smo zaštitaru što smo joj obukli i otišli smo kući i obukli joj upravo tu odjeću, koju smo rekli zaštitaru da je imala.
"And then we got the baby and my other child, and we drove out to, like, I-95. I was so petrified and so numb, all I could look was in the rear-view mirror. And he just laid her right on the shoulder of the highway. My own child, I let that happen to." So that's an investigation of the negative imagination. (Applause)
I onda smo uzeli bebu i moje drugo dijete, i odvezli smo se do, mislim, autoceste I-95. Bila sam toliko prestravljena i toliko otupljela, da sam mogla gledati samo u retrovizor. I samo ju je polegnuo na zaustavni trak autoceste. Moje vlastito dijete. I dopustila sam da se to dogodi. To je, dakle, istraživanje negativne imaginacije. (Pljesak)
When I started this project called "On the Road: A Search For an American Character" with my tape recorder, I thought that I was going to go around America and find it in all its aspects -- bull riders, cowboys, pig farmers, drum majorettes -- but I sort of got tripped on race relations, because my first big show was a show about a race riot. And so I went to both -- two race riots, one of which was the Los Angeles riot. And this next piece is from that. Because this is what I would say I've learned the most about race relations, from this piece. It's a kind of an aria, I would say, and in many tapes that I have.
Kada sam počela ovaj projekt pod imenom Na putu: U potrazi za američkim likom sa svojim kazetofonom, mislila sam da cu ići po Americi i naći je u svim njezinim aspektima – jahači na rodeu, kauboji, uzgajivači svinja, mažoretkinje – ali nekako sam zapela na rasnim odnosima, jer je moj prvi veliki nastup bio u vezi rasnih nereda. I tako sam otisla na oba - dva rasna nereda, jedan od njih je bio nered u Los Angelesu. I ovaj sljedeći dio proizlazi iz njega. Rekla bih, da sam najviše naučila o rasnim odnosima iz ovog dijela. Rekla bih, da je to jedna vrsta arije, i nalazi se u mnogm vrpcama koje imam.
Everybody knows that the Los Angeles riots happened because four cops beat up a black man named Rodney King. It was captured on videotape -- technology -- and it was played all over the world. Everybody thought the four cops would go to jail. They did not, so there were riots. And what a lot of people forget, is there was a second trial, ordered by George Bush, Sr. And that trial came back with two cops going to jail and two cops declared innocent. I was at that trial. And I mean, the people just danced in the streets because they were afraid there was going to be another riot. Explosion of joy that this verdict had come back this way.
Svi znaju da su se neredi u Los Angelesu dogodili zato što su četiri policajca pretukli crnca, koji se zvao Rodney King. Sve je snimljeno - tehnologija - i snimka je puštana po cijelom svijetu. Svi su mislili da će ta četiri policajca ići u zatvor. Nisu. Stoga su nastupili neredi. I što mnogi ljudi zaboravljaju, održalo se i drugo suđenje, po nalogu Georga Busha starijeg. Na tom su suđenju osuđena dva policajca dok su dvojica proglašena nevinima. Bila sam na tom suđenju. Hoću reći, ljudi su plesali po ulicama jer su se bojali da će doći do novih nereda. To je bila eksplozija veselja, zbog toga što je donesena ovakva presuda.
So there was a community that didn't -- the Korean-Americans, whose stores had been burned to the ground. And so this woman, Mrs. Young-Soon Han, I suppose will have taught me the most that I have learned about race. And she asks also a question that Studs talks about: this notion of the "official truth," to question the "official truth." So what she's questioning here, she's taking a chance and questioning what justice is in society. And this is called, "Swallowing the Bitterness."
Ali je bila i zajednica koja nije slavila - korejski Amerikanci, čije su trgovine izgorjele u neredima. Stoga me ova zena, gospođa Young-Soon Han, pretpostavljam najviše naučila o rasi. Također, postavlja pitanje o kojem i Studs govori: ta ideja službene istine i propitkivanju te istine. Ono što ona dovodi u pitanje, riskira, i pita što je pravda u društvu. Ovo se zove “Progutati gorčinu.”
"I used to believe America was the best. I watched in Korea many luxurious Hollywood lifestyle movie. I never saw any poor man, any black. Until 1992, I used to believe America was the best -- I still do; I don't deny that because I am a victim. But at the end of '92, when we were in such turmoil, and having all the financial problems, and all the mental problems, I began to really realize that Koreans are completely left out of this society and we are nothing. Why? Why do we have to be left out? We didn't qualify for medical treatment, no food stamp, no GR,
Prije sam smatrala da je Amerika najbolja. U Koreji sam gledala mnoge holivudske filmove o luksuznom životu. Nikad nisam vidjela nijednog siromašnog čovjeka, nijednog crnog. Do 1992. sam smatrala da je Amerika najbolja - još uvijek to mislim, ne poričem to, samo zato što sam žrtva. Ali na kraju 1992. godine, kada smo bili u tolikom metežu, kada smo imali financijske probleme, i mentalne probleme, tada sam počela uistinu shvaćati da su Koreanci u potpunosti izostavljeni iz ovog društva i da smo ništa. Zašto? Zašto moramo biti izostavljeni? Nismo se prijavljivali na liječenje, niti za markice za hranu niti za socijalnu pomoc,
no welfare, anything. Many African-Americans who never work got minimum amount of money to survive. We didn't get any because we have a car and a house. And we are high taxpayer. Where do I find justice? "OK. OK? OK. OK. Many African-Americans probably think that they won by the trial. I was sitting here watching them the morning after the verdict, and all the day they were having a party, they celebrated, all of South Central, all the churches. And they say, 'Well, finally justice has been done in this society.' Well, what about victims' rights? They got their rights by destroying innocent Korean merchants. They have a lot of respect, as I do, for Dr. Martin King. He is the only model for black community; I don't care Jesse Jackson. He is the model of non-violence, non-violence -- and they would all like to be in his spirit.
za ništa. Mnogi Afroamerikanci, koji nikada ne rade dobili su najmanju svotu novca, dovoljnu da prežive. Mi nismo dobili ništa zato što imamo auto i kuću. I pripadamo visokom platnom razredu. Gdje da ja nađem pravdu? U redu. U redu. U redu. U redu. Mnogi Afroamerikanci vjerojatno misle da su pobjedili na suđenju. Sjedila sam ovdje i gledala ih jutro poslije presude, i cijeli dan su imali zabavu, slavili su, cijeli South Central, sve crkve. I rekli su, napokon je pravda provedena u ovom društvu. A što je sa pravima žrtava? Oni su dobili svoja prava uništavajući nevine korejske trgovce. Iznimno poštuju, kao i ja, doktora Martina Kinga. On je jedini uzor za crnačku zajednicu; Ne sviđa mi se Jesse Jackson. On je uzor za nenasilje, nenasilje - i svi bi oni htjeli imati njegov duh.
"But what about 1992? They destroyed innocent people. And I wonder if that is really justice for them, to get their rights in that way. I was swallowing the bitterness, sitting here alone and watching them. They became so hilarious, but I was happy for them. I was glad for them. At least they got something back, OK. Let's just forget about Korean victims and other victims who were destroyed by them. They fought for their rights for over two centuries, and maybe because they sacrifice other minorities, Hispanic, Asian, we would suffer more in the mainstream. That's why I understand; that's why I have a mixed feeling about the verdict.
Ali sto je sa 1992.? Uništili su nevine ljude. I pitam se da li je to stvarno pravda kada oni dobivaju svoja prava na ovakav način. Gutala sam gorčinu, sjedeći sama ovdje, gledajući ih. Bili su tako smiješni, ali ja sam bila sretna za njih. Bilo mi je drago. Barem im se nešto vratilo. U redu. Zaboravimo korejske žrtve i druge žrtve, koje su oni uništili. Borili su se za svoja prava preko dva stoljeća, možda su zato žrtvovali druge manjine latinoamerikance, azijate, da bi patili oni koji su u većini. Zato razumijem, zato imam podijeljene osjećaje oko presude.
"But I wish that, I wish that, I wish that I could be part of the enjoyment. I wish that I could live together with black people. But after the riot, it's too much difference. The fire is still there. How do you say it? [Unclear]. Igniting, igniting, igniting fire. Igniting fire. It's still there; it can burst out anytime." Mrs. Young-Soon Han. (Applause)
Ali želim, želim, želim da mogu biti dijelom uživanja. Želim da mogu živjeti sa crncima. Ali nakon nereda, previše je razlika. Vatra je još uvijek prisutna. Kako kažete? Zapaliti, zapaliti, zapaliti vatru. Zapaliti vatru. Još je prisutna; može buknuti svakog trena. Gospođa Young-Soon Han. (Pljesak)
The other reason that I don't wear shoes is just in case I really feel like I have to cuddle up and get into the feet of somebody, walking really in somebody else's shoes. And I told you that in -- you know, I didn't give you the year, but in '79 I thought that I was going to go around and find bull riders and pig farmers and people like that, and I got sidetracked on race relations.
Drugi razlog zbog kojeg ne nosim cipele je za slučaj da stvarno želim prigrliti lik i ući u nečija stopala, uistinu hodati u nečijim tuđim cipelama. I rekla sam vam - mislim, nisam vam rekla godinu, ali 1979. sam mislila da cu ići uokolo i da cu naći jahače na rodeu i uzgajivače svinja i takve ljude, i onda su me zaveli rasni odnosi.
Finally, I did find a bull rider, two years ago. And I've been going to the rodeos with him, and we've bonded. And he's the lead in an op-ed I did about the Republican Convention. He's a Republican -- I won't say anything about my party affiliation, but anyway -- so this is my dear, dear Brent Williams, and this is on toughness, in case anybody needs to know about being tough for the work that you do. I think there's a real lesson in this. And this is called "Toughness."
Napokon sam našla jahača na rodeu, prije dvije godine. I išla sam s njim na roder, i zbližili smo se. I on je glavni lik u novinskom članku, kojeg sam napisala o republikanskoj Konvenciji. On je republikanac - neću ništa reći o svojoj stranačkoj pripadnosti. Kako god bilo - ovo je moj dragi, dragi Brent Williams, i ovaj je dio o izdržljivosti, u slučaju da netko želi znati što znači biti izdržljiv u poslu kojeg radite. Mislim da se ovdje može naći prava poruka. I ovo se zove “Izdržljivost.”
"Well, I'm an optimist. I mean basically I'm an optimist. I mean, you know, I mean, it's like my wife, Jolene, her family's always saying, you know, you ever think he's just a born loser? It seems like he has so much bad luck, you know. But then when that bull stepped on my kidney, you know, I didn't lose my kidney -- I could have lost my kidney, I kept my kidney, so I don't think I'm a born loser. I think that's good luck. (Laughter)
Pa, ja sam optimist. Mislim, u biti jesam optimist. Mislim, to je kao s mojom ženom, Jolene, njezina obitelj uvijek kaže znaš, da li ikad misliš da je on rođeni gubitnik, izgleda kao da nema sreće, znaš. Ali kada je onaj bik nagazio moj bubreg, nisam izgubio svoj bubreg - mogao sam izgubiti bubreg, zadržao sam bubreg, tako da ne mislim da sam rođeni gubitnik. Mislim da je to sreća. (Smijeh)
"And, I mean, funny things like this happen. I was in a doctor's office last CAT scan, and there was a Reader's Digest, October 2002. It was like, 'seven ways to get lucky.' And it says if you want to get lucky, you know, you've got to be around positive people. I mean, like even when I told my wife that you want to come out here and talk to me, she's like, 'She's just talking; she's just being nice to you. She's not going to do that.'
Mislim, smiješne stvari kao što je ta se događaju. Bio sam kod doktora, za zadnji CT, i tamo je bio časopis Reader’s Digest, listopad 2002. Tema je bila, sedam načina da vam se posreći. I kaže ako želiš da ti se posreći, znaš, moraš biti okružen pozitivnim ljudima. Mislim, čak kad sam rekao ženi da ti želiš doći ovdje razgovarati sa mnom, ona je rekla kao, ona samo priča, samo je pristojna. Neće to učiniti.
"And then you called me up and you said you wanted to come out here and interview me and she went and looked you up on the Internet. She said, 'Look who she is. You're not even going to be able to answer her questions.' (Laughter) And she was saying you're going to make me look like an idiot because I've never been to college, and I wouldn't be talking professional or anything. I said, 'Well look, the woman talked to me for four hours. You know, if I wasn't talking -- you know, like, you know, she wanted me to talk, I don't think she would even come out here.'
I onda si me nazvala i rekla da želiš doći ovdje i intervjuirati me, ona je otišla na Internet da te nađe. Rekla je, gledaj, tko je ona. Nećeš moći ni odgovoriti na njezina pitanja. (Smijeh) I rekla mi je, zbog tebe ću izgledati kao idiot zato što nikad nisam išao na faks i ne bi razgovarao profesionalno i tako. Rekao sam, gledaj, žena je sa mnom pričala četiri sata. Mislim, da nisam pričao - znaš, htjela je da pričam, inače ne bi htjela doći ovdje.
"Confidence? Well, I think I ride more out of determination than confidence. I mean, confidence is like, you know, you've been on that bull before; you know you can ride him. I mean, confidence is kind of like being cocky, but in a good way. But determination, you know, it's like just, you know, 'Fuck the form, get the horn.' (Laughter) That's Tuff Hedeman, in the movie '8 Seconds.' I mean, like, Pat O'Mealey always said when I was a boy, he say, 'You know, you got more try than any kid I ever seen.' And try and determination is the same thing. Determination is, like, you're going to hang on that bull, even if you're riding upside down. Determination's like, you're going to ride till your head hits the back of the dirt.
Samopouzdanje? Pa, mislim da jašem više zbog predanosti nego zbog samopouzdanja. Samopouzanje je, znate kao već si bio na tom biku i znaš da ga možeš jahati. Mislim, samopouzdanje je kao bahatost, ali na dobar način. Ali predanost je, kao, znaš, "Jebeš kako izgleda, važno da uspiješ." (Smijeh) To je Tuff Hedeman, u filmu "8 sekundi." Kao što mi je Pat O’Mealey rekao kada sam bio mali, rekao je, znaš, ti imaš više volje od bilo kojeg klinca kojeg sam vidio. Volja i predanost su ista stvar. Predanost je kao, držat ćeš se za tog bika, čak i ako jašeš naopačke. Predanost je kao, jahat ćeš dok ti glava ne udari u zemlju.
"Freedom? It would have to be the rodeo.
Sloboda? To bi morao biti rodeo.
"Beauty? I don't think I know what beauty is. Well, you know, I guess that'd have to be the rodeo too. I mean, look how we are, the roughy family, palling around and shaking hands and wrestling around me. It's like, you know, racking up our credit cards on entry fees and gas. We ride together, we, you know, we, we eat together and we sleep together. I mean, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like the last day I rodeo. I mean, I'll be alright. I mean, I have my ranch and everything, but I actually don't even want to think the day that comes. I mean, I guess it just be like -- I guess it be like the day my brother died.
Ljepota? Mislim da ne znam što je ljepota. Pa, znaš, valjda bi i to bio rodeo. Mislim, gledaj kakvi smo, gruba obitelj, družimo se, rukujemo se, hrvamo se. To je kao, znaš, peglati kreditnu karticu na upisnine i benzin. Jašemo zajedno, znaš, jedemo zajedno, spavamo zajedno. Mislim, ne mogu niti zamisliti kako će izgledati moj zadnji dan rodea. Mislim, bit ću dobro. Mislim, imam svoj ranč i tako, ali ustvari ne želim ni razmišljati o tom danu. Mislim, pretpostavljam da će to biti - kao kada mi je brat umro.
"Toughness? Well, we was in West Jordan, Utah, and this bull shoved my face right through the metal shoots in a -- you know, busted my face all up and had to go to the hospital. And they had to sew me up and straighten my nose out. And I had to go and ride in the rodeo that night, so I didn't want them to put me under anesthesia, or whatever you call it. And so they sewed my face up. And then they had to straighten out my nose, and they took these rods and shoved them up my nose and went up through my brains and felt like it was coming out the top of my head, and everybody said that it should have killed me, but it didn't, because I guess I have a high tolerance for pain. (Laughter) But the good thing was, once they shoved those rods up there and straightened my nose out, I could breathe, and I hadn't been able to breathe since I broke my nose in the high school rodeo."
Izdržljivost? Pa, bili smo u West Jordanu u Uti, i jedan bik mi je nabio lice kroz metalna vrata, i - znaš, razbio mi je lice i morao sam u bolnicu. Morali su me zašiti i ispraviti mi nos. A morao sam jahati rodeo te večeri, pa nisam htio da me anesteziraju, ili kako se to već kaže. I tako su mi zašili lice. I onda su mi morali izravnati nos, pa su uzeli te šipke i nabili mi ih u nos i probile su mi mozak i imao sam osjećaj da su mi izašle kroz vrh glave, i svi su mi rekli da me to trebalo ubiti, ali nije, jer valjda imam visoki prag tolerancije za bol. (Smijeh) Ali dobra stvar u svemu tome je, kad su mi zabili te šipke u nos, i ispravili mi nos, mogao sam disati, a nisam mogao disati od srednje škole, kada sam slomio nos na rodeu.
Thank you. (Applause)
Hvala vam. (Pljesak)