(Music)
(音樂)
[Sanskrit] This is an ode to the mother goddess, that most of us in India learn when we are children. I learned it when I was four at my mother's knee. That year she introduced me to dance, and thus began my tryst with classical dance. Since then -- it's been four decades now -- I've trained with the best in the field, performed across the globe, taught young and old alike, created, collaborated, choreographed, and wove a rich tapestry of artistry, achievement and awards. The crowning glory was in 2007, when I received this country's fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri, for my contribution to art.
[印度語] 這是歌頌女神之母 我們大部份的印度人在很小的時候已經學會 我是在四歲的時候 坐在我媽媽的膝蓋上學 那年她讓我認識舞蹈 從那時候起 我與古典舞蹈結下不解緣 從那時候起到現在已有四十年寒暑了 我與舞蹈界最優秀的人一起練習 穿洋過海去表演 教導年幼和年老的人士 一起創作,互動 精心設計 來織出一個豐富的藝術作品 成就及獎項 最榮幸的是在2007年 當我獲得美國 第四高的民間獎項, Padmashri 獎 以肯定我對藝術的貢獻
(Applause)
(鼓掌)
But nothing, nothing prepared me for what I was to hear on the first of July 2008. I heard the word "carcinoma." Yes, breast cancer. As I sat dumbstruck in my doctor's office, I heard other words: "cancer," "stage," "grade." Until then, Cancer was the zodiac sign of my friend, stage was what I performed on, and grades were what I got in school. That day, I realized I had an unwelcome, uninvited, new life partner. As a dancer, I know the nine rasas or the navarasas: anger, valor, disgust, humor and fear. I thought I knew what fear was. That day, I learned what fear was.
但沒有。。。沒有任何東西準備 我將在2008年七月一日 所聽到的事情 我聽到 carcinoma,癌,這個字 沒錯,是乳癌 我在醫生的辦公室內晴天霹靂 我聽到其他詞語 "cancer" (癌細胞), "stage" (期), "grade" (階段) 直至那時,我只知道 "cancer" 是一個星座, 巨蟹座,我朋友的一個星座 "stage" 是我表演的地方 而"grades" 是我在學校得到的學分 那天我知道 我有一個不受歡迎,亦沒有被邀請 的一個新的生命拍檔 作為一個舞蹈家 我明白九種情感 憤怒,勇猛, 厭惡,幽默, 和恐懼 我以為我知道什麼是恐懼 但直至那一天我才學曉恐懼
Overcome with the enormity of it all and the complete feeling of loss of control, I shed copious tears and asked my dear husband, Jayant. I said, "Is this it? Is this the end of the road? Is this the end of my dance?" And he, the positive soul that he is, said, "No, this is just a hiatus, a hiatus during the treatment, and you'll get back to doing what you do best."
被那種窮兇極惡的感覺壓倒 完全不能自控的無力感 我不斷的流下眼淚 我問我親愛的丈夫,Jayant 我說: 是不是這樣? 這是不是絕路? 這是不是我舞蹈事業的終結? 而他,帶著正能量說: 不是,這只是一個障礙 在治療中的一個跨越 而你將會回復你以往那般優秀
I realized then that I, who thought I had complete control of my life, had control of only three things: My thought, my mind -- the images that these thoughts created -- and the action that derived from it. So here I was wallowing in a vortex of emotions and depression and what have you, with the enormity of the situation, wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness. I wanted to go from where I was to where I wanted to be, for which I needed something. I needed something that would pull me out of all this. So I dried my tears, and I declared to the world at large ... I said, "Cancer's only one page in my life, and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life."
我從那一刻明白到 我一直以為我能完全控制我我生命 其實只是控制了三件東西 我的思想,我的意志 -- 即我在腦海中所創造的影象 -- 以及從那衍生出來的動作 那時我的內心在 這些不同的情感裡爭扎 內心的失落 加上那窮兇極惡的處境 與想被醫治,那健康快樂的地方在交戰 我想從我以往的那樣 到我理想的樣子 我需要一些東西 我需要一些東西把我從這些中拉出來 我抹乾我的淚水 我向世界宣佈 癌症只是我生命的一頁 而我不會讓這一頁影響我餘下的人生
I also declared to the world at large that I would ride it out, and I would not allow cancer to ride me. But to go from where I was to where I wanted to be, I needed something. I needed an anchor, an image, a peg to peg this process on, so that I could go from there. And I found that in my dance, my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion, my very life breath. But it wasn't easy. Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy. How do you keep cheer when you go from beautiful to bald in three days? How do you not despair when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy, climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture, that to someone like me who could dance for three hours? How do you not get overwhelmed by the despair and the misery of it all? All I wanted to do was curl up and weep. But I kept telling myself fear and tears are options I did not have.
我向世界宣佈 我會克服它 我不會讓癌症擊敗我 但要從我這樣 到我想的那樣 我需要一些東西 我需要一個靠山,一個形象 一個依據 來把這個過程給繫上 從而使我出發 我在我的舞蹈中找到它 我的舞蹈,我的潛能,我的力量,我的熱誠 我生命的氣息 但這不容易 相信我,這絕對的不容易 你要如何保持開朗 當你在三天內從美麗 變成禿子 你要怎樣才不沮喪 當你的身體被化療毀壞 爬上僅僅的數個樓梯也是折磨的時候 有什麼人能像我跳三個小時的舞 你要怎樣不被 沮喪和悲慘給壓倒 我所希望做的只有縮在一角飲泣 但我不斷告訴我自己,恐懼和淚水 不是我唯一的選擇
So I would drag myself into my dance studio -- body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio, and learn everything I learned when I was four, all over again, reworked, relearned, regrouped. It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it. Difficult. I focused on my mudras, on the imagery of my dance, on the poetry and the metaphor and the philosophy of the dance itself. And slowly, I moved out of that miserable state of mind.
因此我把我自己拖到我的跳舞室 我的身體、思想和意志。每天來到我的跳舞室 重新學習的從四歲以來 所學過的 重新作、重新學習、重新組合 這是極其痛苦的,但我做到了 非常困難 我專注在我的馬德拉舞中 專注在我舞蹈的演繹中 專注在詩篇中和比喻中 還有舞蹈本身的哲學 慢慢地,我從 那個低谷的狀況下走出來
But I needed something else. I needed something to go that extra mile, and I found it in that metaphor which I had learned from my mother when I was four. The metaphor of Mahishasura Mardhini, of Durga. Durga, the mother goddess, the fearless one, created by the pantheon of Hindu gods. Durga, resplendent, bedecked, beautiful, her 18 arms ready for warfare, as she rode astride her lion into the battlefield to destroy Mahishasur. Durga, the epitome of creative feminine energy, or shakti. Durga, the fearless one. I made that image of Durga and her every attribute, her every nuance, my very own.
但我需要其他東西 需要能支持我走多一步的東西 而我找到了這個比喻 這個比喻是當我在四歲的時候從我媽媽身上學到的 是Mahesh Mahatmya裡 Durga 的象徵 Durga 眾女神之母,無懼之神 是印度教諸神殿所創造 Durga 是華麗的,點綴的,美麗的 她有十八雙手 準備戰爭 她騎在她的獅子上 進入戰場擊敗Mahishasur Durga 是 創意女性能力的化身 或是印度語 shakti Durga,無懼之神 我將Durga女神的形象 她的每一特質,每一細微差別 轉化成我自己
Powered by the symbology of a myth and the passion of my training, I brought laser-sharp focus into my dance, laser-sharp focus to such an extent that I danced a few weeks after surgery. I danced through chemo and radiation cycles, much to the dismay of my oncologist. I danced between chemo and radiation cycles and badgered him to fit it to my performing dance schedule. What I had done is I had tuned out of cancer and tuned into my dance. Yes, cancer has just been one page in my life.
從她的神話的象徵 與及我對訓練的熱情得到能量 我高度的專注在我的舞蹈中 這個高度的專注讓我在 手術數星期後便跳舞 我在化療和放射線過程中亦有跳 這令我的治療師很驚慌 我在化療和放射線過程中跳舞 我要他遷就 我的表演時間 我所做的是 從癌症中調轉出來 再專注在我的舞蹈當中 沒錯,癌症只是我生命中的一頁罷了
My story is a story of overcoming setbacks, obstacles and challenges that life throws at you. My story is the power of thought. My story is the power of choice. It's the power of focus. It's the power of bringing ourselves to the attention of something that so animates you, so moves you, that something even like cancer becomes insignificant. My story is the power of a metaphor. It's the power of an image. Mine was that of Durga, Durga the fearless one. She was also called Simhanandini, the one who rode the lion.
我的故事是一個有關 如何克服 生命上所遇到的挫折、 障礙和挑戰的故事 我的故事是意念的力量 亦是選擇的力量 是集中的能力 是把我們重新去注意 那些激勵你的 感動你的事情的力量 那些連癌症也變得不重要的事情 我的故事是隱喻的力量 是影象的威力 我的是印度女神Durga Durga,無懼者 她亦名叫 Simhanandini 那個騎在獅子上的女神
As I ride out, as I ride my own inner strength, my own inner resilience, armed as I am with what medication can provide and continue treatment, as I ride out into the battlefield of cancer, asking my rogue cells to behave, I want to be known not as a cancer survivor, but as a cancer conqueror.
好像讓我安全渡過 好像在支配我的內在潛能 我自身的內在回復 好像在我接受治療時得到保護 和不斷的治療 好像讓我馳騁於癌症的戰場上 好叫我的惡細胞檢點一些 我想被人知道,我不只是一個癌症幸存者 而是癌症鬥士
I present to you an excerpt of that work "Simhanandini."
我現在為你們呈獻舞曲 Simhanandani 的節錄
(Applause)
(鼓掌)
(Music)
(音樂)
(Applause)
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