So my name is Amy Webb, and a few years ago I found myself at the end of yet another fantastic relationship that came burning down in a spectacular fashion. And I thought, what's wrong with me? I don't understand why this keeps happening.
Zovem se Ejmi Veb, i pre nekoliko godina sam se ponovo našla na kraju još jedne fenomenalne veze koja se završila na spektakularan način. I pomislila sam, šta nije u redu sa mnom? Ne razumem zašto mi se ovo stalno dešava.
So I asked everybody in my life what they thought. I turned to my grandmother, who always had plenty of advice, and she said, "Stop being so picky. You've got to date around. And most importantly, true love will find you when you least expect it."
Tako sam pitala svakoga ko je deo mog života šta misli o tome. Pitala sam svoju baku, koja je oduvek puna saveta, i ona je odgovorila: "Ne budi toliko izbirljiva. Moraš da se zabavljaš. I što je najvažnije,
Now as it turns out, I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data, as you'll soon find. I am constantly swimming in numbers, formulas and charts. I also have a very tight-knit family, and I'm very, very close with my sister, and as a result, I wanted to have the same type of family when I grew up.
prava ljubav će naići kad se najmanje nadaš." I kako se ispostavilo, ja sam neko ko puno razmišlja o podacima, što ćete uskoro i sami otkriti. Stalno plivam u brojevima i formulama i čartovima. Takođe sam jako vezana za porodicu, veoma sam bliska sa sestrom, i kao rezultat toga, želela sam da imam sličnu porodicu i kada odrastem.
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup, I'm 30 years old, I figure I'm probably going to have to date somebody for about six months before I'm ready to get monogamous and before we can sort of cohabitate, and we have to do that for a while before we can get engaged. And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35, that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage five years ago. So that wasn't going to work.
I tako sam na kraju tog gadnog raskida, imam 30 godina, shvatam da ću verovatno morati da se zabavljam sa nekim oko 6 meseci pre nego što se odlučim na monogamnost i pre nego što ćemo moći da funkcionišemo zajedno, to će trajati neko izvesno vreme pre nego što se verimo. I ako želim da imam decu pre 35., to bi značilo da sam morala da budem na putu da se udam još pre pet godina. Pa to neće ići.
If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love, then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity. In short, I was trying to figure out what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right? Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia, and it's a big city, and I figured, in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities. So again, I started doing some math. Population of Philadelphia: it has 1.5 million people. I figure about half of that are men, so that takes the number down to 750,000. I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36, which was only four percent of the population, so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men. I was looking for somebody who was Jewish, because I am and that was important to me. That's only 2.3 percent of the population. I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men, and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer. So that basically meant there were 35 men for me that I could possibly date in the entire city of Philadelphia.
Ako je moja strategija bila da ću sresti pravu ljubav kad se najmanje nadam, onda je varijabla koju sam imala bila suočavanje sa srećnom okolnošću. Ukratko, pokušavala sam da otkrijem koja je verovatnoća da ću pronaći svog gospodina Pravog? U to vreme sam živela u Filadelfiji, to je veliki grad, i shvatila sam da na tolikom prostoru ima puno mogućnosti. I ponovo sam počela malo da računam. Populacija Filadelfije je 1,5 miliona ljudi. Pretpostavila sam da su pola od toga muškarci, i to smanjuje broj na 750 000. Tragam za muškarcem između 30 i 36 godina, što čini svega 4% populacije, tako da se sada suočavam sa mogućnošću od 30 000 muškaraca. Tražila sam nekoga ko je Jevrejin, jer ja sam Jevrejka i to mi je važno. To je svega 2,3 procenata populacije. I pretpostavila sam da će me privući jedan od 10 od tih muškaraca, i nije bilo šanse da ću da budem sa nekim ko je strastveni igrač golfa. I to je praktično značilo da je bilo 35 muškaraca sa kojima bih možda mogla da izađem
In the meantime, my very large Jewish family was already all married and well on their way to having lots and lots of children, and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure to get my life going already.
u čitavom gradu Filadelfiji. U međuvremenu, u mojoj velikoj jevrejskoj porodici svi su već bili venčani i na putu da imaju mnogo dece, i osećala sam da sam pod neverovatnim pritiskom da se moj život pokrene.
So I have two possible strategies at this point I'm sort of figuring out. One, I can take my grandmother's advice and sort of least-expect my way into maybe bumping into the one out of 35 possible men in the entire 1.5-million-person city of Philadelphia, or I could try online dating.
I ukoliko imam svega dve mogućnosti u ovom trenutku moram to rešiti. Jedna, mogu poslušati savet bake da ću, kad se najmanje nadam, da naletim na jednog od 35 mogućih muškaraca u celom gradu Filadelfiji koji ima 1,5 miliona stanovnika, ili da pokušam sastanak preko interneta.
Now, I like the idea of online dating, because it's predicated on an algorithm, and that's really just a simple way of saying I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data, run it through a system and get to a solution. So online dating is the second most popular way that people now meet each other, but as it turns out, algorithms have been around for thousands of years in almost every culture. In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers a long time ago, and though they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se, they definitely were running through formulas in their heads, like, is the girl going to like the boy? Are the families going to get along? What's the rabbi going to say? Are they going to start having children right away? The matchmaker would sort of think through all of this, put two people together, and that would be the end of it. So in my case, I thought, well, will data and an algorithm lead me to my Prince Charming? So I decided to sign on.
Sviđa mi se ideja sastanka preko interneta, jer se zasniva na algoritmu, i to je zaista jednostavan način da se kaže imam problem, upotrebiću neke podatke, provući ih kroz sistem i dobiti rešenje. Internet upoznavanje je drugi najpopularniji način kako se ljudi upoznaju, ali se ispostavilo da algoritmi postoje hiljadama godina u svakoj kulturi. U judaizmu zapravo, postojale su provodadžije, pre mnogo vremena, i iako nisu imali nikakav algoritam u pravom smislu, sigurno je da su imali formule u glavama, recimo, da li će se devojci dopasti ovaj momak? Hoće li se porodice slagati? Šta će reći rabin? Hoće li odmah imati decu? I provodadžija bi razmislio o svemu ovome, povezao dvoje ljudi i to bi bilo to. U mom slučaju, mislila sam, da li će mi podaci i algoritam pokazati put do princa na belom konju?
Now, there was one small catch.
Tako sam odlučila da se prijavim.
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites, as it happens, I was really, really busy. But that actually wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that I hate filling out questionnaires of any kind, and I certainly don't like questionnaires that are like Cosmo quizzes. So I just copied and pasted from my résumé.
Ali, postojala je jedna začkoljica. Kako sam se prijavljivala na razne sajtove za upoznavanje, dešavalo se da sam jako zauzeta. Ali to nije bio najveći problem. Najveći problem je to što mrzim da popunjavam upitnike bilo kakve vrste, i svakako da ne volim upitnike koji podsećaju na upitnike iz časopisa Kosmopoliten. I tako sam samo kopirala svoju biografiju.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So in the descriptive part up top, I said that I was an award-winning journalist and a future thinker. When I was asked about fun activities and my ideal date, I said monetization and fluency in Japanese. I talked a lot about JavaScript.
Tako sam u gornjem delu za opis napisala da sam nagrađivani novinar i vizionar. Kada su me pitali o zabavnim aktivnostima koje želim kod svog partnera, rekla sam zarada i tečno znanje japanskog.
(Laughter)
Puno sam pričala o Java skriptu.
So obviously this was not the best way to put my most sexy foot forward. But the real failure was that there were plenty of men for me to date. These algorithms had a sea full of men that wanted to take me out on lots of dates -- what turned out to be truly awful dates.
I očigledno ovo nije bio najbolji način da se prikažem u zavodljivom svetlu. Ali pravi neuspeh je bio to što je tu bilo puno momaka sa kojima bih izašla. Ovi algoritmi su nudili more muškaraca koji su želeli da me izvedu na sastanke -
There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy. The algorithm matched us up because we share a love of gadgets, we share a love of math and data and '80s music, and so I agreed to go out with him. So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth, extremely expensive restaurants. And we went in, and right off the bat, our conversation really wasn't taking flight, but he was ordering a lot of food. In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu. He was ordering multiple appetizers, multiple entrées, for me as well, and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table, also lots and lots of bottles of wine. So we're nearing the end of our conversation and the end of dinner, and I've decided Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other, but we'll part ways as friends, when he gets up to go to the bathroom, and in the meantime, the bill comes to our table. And listen, I'm a modern woman. I am totally down with splitting the bill. But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back.
koji su se ispostavili očajnim. Bio je ovaj lik Stiv, IT lik. Algoritam nas je povezao jer smo delili strast ka spravicama, delili smo strast prema matematici i muzici iz osamdesetih, tako da sam pristala da izađem sa njim. Tako me je Stiv, IT lik, pozvao da izađemo u jedan od prestižnih filadelfijskih, nenormalno skupih restorana. Izašli smo, i istog trena, pošto naš razgovor stvarno nije vodio nikuda, on je počeo naručivati mnogo hrane. Nije se ni trudio da pogleda jelovnik. Naručivao je po nekoliko predjela, nekoliko glavnih jela, i za mene takođe, i vrlo brzo se stvorila gomila hrane na stolu, kao i boca vina. Kako se bližio kraj našeg razgovora i večere, odlučila sam da Stiv i ja nismo jedno za drugo, ali da možemo biti prijtelji, kada je on ustao i otišao do toaleta, a u međuvremenu je stigao račun. Čujte, ja sam savremena žena. Skroz sam za to da se račun podeli. Ali Stiv, IT lik, se nije vratio. (Uzdah)
(Gasping)
And that was my entire month's rent.
A to je bila moja cela mesečna kirija.
(Audience gasps)
So needless to say, I was not having a good night. So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister, and as I do, at the end of each one of these terrible, terrible dates, I regale them with the details. And they say to me, "Stop complaining."
I suvišno je i reći da nisam imala baš prijatno veče. Otrčala sam kući, pozvala sam majku, sestru, i kako sam im pričala o svakom od ovih užasnih sastanaka, tako sam ih počastila detaljima. I rekle su mi:
(Laughter)
"Prestani da se žališ". (Smeh)
"You're just being too picky."
"Previše si izbirljiva."
So I said, fine, from here on out I'm only going on dates where I know there's Wi-Fi, and I'm bringing my laptop. I'm going to shove it into my bag, I'm going to have this email template, and I'm going to fill it out and collect information on all these different data points during the date to prove to everybody that empirically, these dates really are terrible.
Rekla sam, u redu, od sada ići ću na sastanke tamo gde znam da postoji internet i nosim svoj laptop. Gurnuću ga u torbu, imaću ovaj imejl šablon, popuniću ga i sakupiti informacije o svim ovim raznim podacima tokom sastanaka kako bih svima empirijski dokazala, da su ti sastanci očajni. (Smeh)
(Laughter)
Tako sam počela da pratim stvari kao što su:
So I started tracking things like really stupid, awkward, sexual remarks; bad vocabulary; the number of times a man forced me to high-five him.
jako glupe, čudne, seksualne opaske; loš rečnik; broj puta kada me je naterao da mu bacim pet.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So I started to crunch some numbers, and that allowed me to make some correlations. So as it turns out, for some reason, men who drink Scotch reference kinky sex immediately.
I tako sam počela da se bavim brojkama, i napravila neke korelacije. Kako se ispostavilo, iz nekog razloga, muškarci koji piju viski
(Laughter)
odmah ukazuju da vole perverzan seks.
Well, it turns out that these probably weren't bad guys.
(Smeh)
There were just bad for me. And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up, they weren't bad either. These algorithms were doing exactly what they were designed to do, which was to take our user-generated information, in my case, my résumé, and match it up with other people's information. See, the real problem here is that, while the algorithms work just fine, you and I don't, when confronted with blank windows where we're supposed to input our information online. Very few of us have the ability to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves. The other problem is that these websites are asking us questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person? Do you like horror films or romance films? I'm not looking for a pen pal. I'm looking for a husband. Right? So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data.
Mada, ispostavilo se da ovo verovatno nisu bili loši momci. Samo su bili loši za mene. A i algoritmi koji su nas spajali nisu bili loši. Ovi algoritmi su radili upravo ono za šta su bili stvoreni, a to je da preuzimaju informacije o korisnicima, u mom slučaju, moju biografiju i da ih povežu sa informacijama drugih korisnika. Pravi problem je ovde to što, dok algoritmi rade baš kako treba, mi to ne uspevamo kada smo suočeni sa praznim prozorčićima gde treba da ubacimo svoje informacije onlajn. Samo malo nas ima tu sposobnost da bude potpuno i brutalno iskren sa samim sobom. Drugi problem je i to što nam se na ovim sajtovima postavljaju pitanja kao što su: jesi li osoba koja voli pse ili mačke? Da li voliš horore ili romantične filmove? Ja ne tražim drugara za dopisivanje. Tražim muža. Je li tako? Tako da postoji i neka doza površnosti u ovim podacima.
So I said fine, I've got a new plan. I'm going to keep using these online dating sites, but I'm going to treat them as databases, and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system. So knowing that there was superficial data that was being used to match me up with other people, I decided instead to ask my own questions. What was every single possible thing that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?
I pomislila sam, u redu, imam novi plan. Nastaviću da koristim ove sajtove za upoznavanje, ali ću ih koristiti kao bazu podataka, i umesto da čekam da mi algoritam pronađe para, pokušaću da preokrenem ovaj sistem. Kako znam da ima površnih informacija koje se koriste da bi spojile ljude, odlučila sam da umesto toga postavim svoja pitanja. Pokušala sam da se prisetim svake moguće stvari koje sam mogla, koje tražim kod partnera.
So I started writing and writing and writing, and at the end, I had amassed 72 different data points. I wanted somebody was Jew-ish, so I was looking for somebody who had the same background and thoughts on our culture, but wasn't going to force me to go to shul every Friday and Saturday. I wanted somebody who worked hard, because work for me is extremely important, but not too hard. For me, the hobbies that I have are really just new work projects that I've launched. I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children, but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do, so somebody who was going to be totally okay with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three, and also maybe computer science classes if we could wrangle it. So things like that, but I also wanted somebody who would go to far-flung, exotic places, like Petra, Jordan. I also wanted somebody who would weigh 20 pounds more than me at all times, regardless of what I weighed.
Tako sam počela da pišem i pišem i pišem, i na kraju sam sakupila 72 različita podatka. Želela sam da je neko umereni jevrejin, dakle tražila sam nekoga ko ima isto poreklo i mišljenje o našoj kulturi, ali ko me neće forsirati da idem u sinagogu svakog petka i subote. Želela sam nekoga ko vredno radi, jer je rad za mene jako važan, ali ne previše. Za mene su hobiji koje imam zapravo samo novi projekti koje pokrećem. Želela sam nekoga ko ne samo da želi dvoje dece, već da ima iste stavove po pitanju vaspitanja kao ja, dakle nekoga kome bi bilo u redu da nateramo decu da uzimaju časove klavira sa tri godine, možda čak i časove informatike ako uspemo da to uklopimo. Takve stvari, ali sam takođe htela nekoga ko bi išao na daleka, egzotična putovanja, kao što je Petra u Jordanu. Želela sam i nekoga ko bi bio teži od mene oko 10 kilograma u svakom trenutku, nezavisno od toga koliko sam ja teška.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So I now have these 72 different data points, which, to be fair, is a lot. So what I did was, I went through and I prioritized that list. I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points, and I ranked everything starting at 100 and going all the way down to 91, and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart, who would challenge and stimulate me, and balancing that with a second tier and a second set of points. These things were also important to me but not necessarily deal-breakers.
I tako sam došla do 72 podatka, što je, budimo iskreni, mnogo. Tako sam prošla kroz listu i napravila prioritete. Napravila sam rang listu top poena i drugorazrednih poena, i bodovala sam sve počevši od 100 nadole do 91, i nabrajala stvari kao što su da tražim nekoga ko je jako pametan, ko će mi biti izazov i stimulisati me, i potom balansirala to sa drugim rangom i drugim nizom poena. Ove stvari su mi takođe važne
(Laughter)
ali ne presudne.
So once I had all this done, I then built a scoring system, because what I wanted to do was to sort of mathematically calculate whether or not I thought the guy that I found online would be a match with me. I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message. For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date, and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold.
I kada sam ovo uradila, napravila sam bodovni sistem, jer sam želela da matematički proračunam da li će momak koga nađem onlajn biti dobar par za mene. Neko bi morao da ima makar 700 poena da bih mu poslala ili odgovorila na mejl. Sa 900 poena, pristala bih na sastanak, a nikako ne bih ni razmatrala vezu sa nekim ko ne prelazi 1500 poena.
Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well. So I go back online now. I found Jewishdoc57 who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken, he had hiked Mt. Fuji, he had walked along the Great Wall. He likes to travel as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship. And I thought, I've done it! I've cracked the code. I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming of my family's dreams.
Ispostavilo se da je ovo radilo prilično dobro. Tako sam se vratila. Našla sam Jewishdoc57 ko je bio jako zgodan, vrlo naočit, ko je šetao planinom Fudži, a takođe i Velikim Zidom. Voli da putuje dok god ne ide kruzerom. I pomislila sam: uspelo mi je! Razbila sam šifru. Pronašla sam jevrejskog princa na konju iz snova moje porodice.
There was only one problem: He didn't like me back. And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered is the competition. Who are all of the other women on these dating sites? I found SmileyGirl1978. She said she was a "Fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing." She listed her job as "teacher." She said she is "silly, nice and friendly." She likes to make people laugh "alot."
Ali postojao je samo jedan problem: ja se njemu nisam dopala. I jedna varijabla koju nisam uzela u obzir jeste konkurencija. Ko su sve ostale žene na ovim sajtovima? Našla sam SmileyGirl1978. Rekla je da je zabavna osoba koja voli izlaske. Napisala je i da je nastavnica. Još je dodala da je pomalo luckasta, prijatna i druželjubiva. Voli da zasmejava ljude "bašpuno".
At this moment I knew, clicking profile after profile that looked like this, that I needed to do some market research. So I created 10 fake male profiles. Now, before I lose all of you --
U ovom trenutku sam saznala, gledajući profil za profilom koji su bili poput ovog, da moram malo da ispitam tržište. Napravila sam 10 lažnih muških profila. E sad, pre nego što vas sve izgubim -
(Laughter) --
(Smeh) -
understand that I did this strictly to gather data about everybody else in the system. I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody. I really was just scraping their data. But I didn't want everybody's data. I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry.
morate da razumete da sam sve ovo uradila samo da bih prikupila podatke o svima ostalima u sistemu. Nisam nastavila nikakvu ludu vezu ni sa kim. Samo sam tragala za podacima. Ali nisam htela podatke od svakoga. Samo sam htela podatke onih žena koje su privlačile tip muškaraca za koje sam želela da se udam. (Smeh)
When I released these men into the wild, I did follow some rules. So I didn't reach out to any woman first. I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract, and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets. So I was looking at qualitative data, so what was the humor, the tone, the voice, the communication style that these women shared in common? And also quantitative data, so what was the average length of their profile, how much time was spent between messages? What I was trying to get at here was that I figured, in person, I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl1978. I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online.
Kada sam pustila ove muškarce u divljinu, pratila sam neka pravila. Nisam prva posezala za ženama. Čekala sam da vidim koga će ovi profili privući, i ono što sam tražila su bile dve grupe podataka. Gledala sam kvalitativne podatke, kakav humor, ton, glas, stil komunikacije je bio zajednički svim ovim ženama? Takođe i kvantitativne podatke, prosečna dužina njihovih profila, koliko je vremena proticalo između poruka? Ovako sam pokušavala da provalim osobu, kako bih bila jednako kompetitivna kao i SmileyGirl1978. Želela sam da otkrijem kako da uvećam šanse svog onlajn profila.
Well, one month later, I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis. And as it turns out, content matters a lot. So smart people tend to write a lot -- 3,000, 4,000, 5,000 words about themselves, which may all be very, very interesting. The challenge here, though, is that the popular men and women are sticking to 97 words on average that are written very, very well, even though it may not seem like it all the time. The other hallmark of the people who do this well is that they're using non-specific language. So in my case, "The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever, but it doesn't work to use that in a profile, because that's a superficial data point, and somebody may disagree and decide they don't want to go out because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.
Mesec dana kasnije, imala sam dovoljno podataka da uradim još jednu analizu. Kako se ispostavilo, sadržaj je jako bitan. Pametni ljudi teže da pišu puno - 3 000, 4 000, 5 000 reči o sebi, što može da bude jako zanimljivo. Izazov ovde je to što popularni muškarci i žene u proseku imaju po 97 reči napisanih jako dobro, čak iako ne mora tako da deluje uvek. Još jedan tipičan znak ljudi koji ovo rade dobro jeste što koriste nespecifičan jezik. Tako da, u mom slučaju, "Engleski pacijent" je moj omiljeni film, ali ne vredi upotrebiti to u profilu, jer je to nebitan podatak, a neko se možda ne slaže sa mnom i odluči da ne izađe sa mnom na sastanak jer mu se ne sviđa ideja da sedi i tri sata gleda film.
Also, optimistic language matters a lot. So this is a word cloud highlighting the most popular words that were used by the most popular women, words like "fun" and "girl" and "love." And what I realized was not that I had to dumb down my own profile. Remember, I'm somebody who said that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript and I was okay with that. The difference is that it's about being more approachable and helping people understand the best way to reach out to you.
Takođe, optimističan jezik je jako bitan. Ovo je oblak reči i naglašeno je koje su najpopularnije reči koje su korišćene kod najpopularnijih žena, reči kao "zabavno" i "devojka" i "ljubav". Shvatila sam da ne moram da zaglupljujem svoj profil. Setite se, ja sam osoba koja tečno govori japanski i zna java skript i to je u redu. Razlika je u tome da se bude pristupačniji i da se pomogne ljudima da razumeju
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.
koji je najbolji način da dođu do vas.
Just because you have access to somebody's mobile phone number or their instant message account and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake, doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people. The popular women on these online sites spend an average of 23 hours in between each communication. And that's what we would normally do in the usual process of courtship.
I kako se pokazalo, vreme je jako važno. Samo zato što imate pristup nečijem mobilnom telefonu ili njihovom mejlu i desi se da ste budni u dva ujutro, ne znači da je to dobro vreme da pričate sa tim ljudima. Popularne žene na ovim sajtovima imaju u proseku 23 sata pauze između dva razgovora. I tako je i u normalnom
And finally -- there were the photos. All of the women who were popular showed some skin. They all looked really great, which turned out to be in sharp contrast to what I had uploaded.
procesu udvaranja. I konačno, tu su i fotografije. Sve popularne žene pokazuju kožu. Sve izgledaju sjajno, što je u direktnoj suprotnosti sa onim što sam ja izbacila.
(Laughter)
Kada sam prikupila sve ove informacije,
Once I had all of this information, I was able to create a super profile, so it was still me, but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem. And as it turns out, I did a really good job. I was the most popular person online.
mogla sam da napravim super profil, tako da sam to i dalje ja, ali prilagođena ovom ekosistemu. Ispostavilo se da sam odradila jako dobar posao. Postala sam najpopularnija osoba onlajn.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me. So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother. I'm telling them about this fabulous news, and they say, "This is wonderful! How soon are you going out?" I said, "Actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody." Because remember, in my scoring system, they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points, and none of them have done that. They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."
Ispostavilo se da je mnogo muškaraca želelo da izađe sa mnom. Pozvala sam majku, sestru, baku. Saopštila sam im ove fenomenalne vesti, i rekle su: "Pa to je odlično! Kada izlaziš?" Rekla sam: "Pa, zapravo, ne izlazim ni sa kim." Jer, setite se, u mom bodovnom sistemu, bilo je potrebno da se pređe minimum od 700 poena, a niko od njih nije uspeo u tome. Rekle su mi: "Šta? I dalje si toliko prokleto izbirljiva."
Well, not too long after that, I found this guy, Thevenin, and he said that he was culturally Jewish, he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter, which I thought was very clever. He talked in detail about travel. He made a lot of really interesting cultural references. He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted, and immediately, he scored 850 points. It was enough for a date.
Međutim, nedugo nakon toga, našla sam ovog momka, Tevenina, rekao je da je jevrejskog porekla, da je lovac na bebe arktičkih foka, za šta mislim da je jako pametno. Detaljno je pričao o putovanjima. Naveo je puno interesantnih kulturoloških referenci. Izgledao je i pričao upravo onako kako sam htela i istog trena je zaradio 850 poena. To je bilo dovoljno za sastanak.
Three weeks later, we met up in person for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation that went from coffee shop to restaurant to another coffee shop to another restaurant, and when he dropped me back off at my house that night I re-scored him --
Tri sedmice kasnije, sreli smo se što je dovelo do četrnaestočasovnog razgovora koji se od kafića preselio u restoran do sledećeg kafića i sledećeg restorana, i kada me je vratio kući te večeri dala sam mu novi skor -
[1,050 points!]
1050 poena! -
Thought, you know what, this entire time, I haven't been picky enough. Well, a year and a half after that, we were non-cruise ship traveling through Petra, Jordan, when he got down on his knee and proposed. A year after that, we were married, and about a year and a half after that, our daughter, Petra, was born.
iako, znate šta, sve ovo vreme uopšte nisam bila dovoljno izbirljiva. Pa, godinu i po dana nakon toga, bili smo na putovanju bez kruzera kroz Petru u Jordanu, kada se spustio na koleno i zaprosio me. Godinu dana nakon toga bili smo u braku, a godinu i po nakon toga, naša kćerka, Petra, je rođena.
Audience: Oh!
(Aplauz)
(Applause)
[What it means...]
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --
Očigledno je da imam fenomenalan život, tako da -
(Laughter)
(Smeh) -
The question is, what does all of this mean for you?
je pitanje, šta ovo znači vama?
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love. It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online. In fact, it's something that you write yourself. So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife or you're trying to find your passion or you're trying to start a business, all you have to really do is figure out your own framework and play by your own rules, and feel free to be as picky as you want.
Pa, ispostavilo se da postoji algoritam za ljubav. Samo to nisu oni koji su nam predstavljeni na internetu. To je nešto što sami pišete. Pa bilo da tragate za mužem ili ženom, ili pokušavate da pronađete svoju strast ili da pokrenete svoj biznis, sve što treba da uradite je da kreirate sopstveni okvir i da igrate po svojim pravilima, i imajte slobodu da budete izbirljivi koliko god hoćete.
Well, on my wedding day, I had a conversation again with my grandmother, and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong. It looks like you did come up with a really, really great system. Now, your matzah balls ... They should be fluffy, not hard."
Na dan mog venčanja, ponovo sam pričala sa bakom, i rekla mi je: "Pa dobro, možda nisam bila u pravu. izgleda da si došla do stvarno sjajnog sistema. A sad, tvoje maca knedle Treba da su vazdušaste, ne ovako tvrde."
(Laughter)
I poslušaću taj njen savet.
And I'll take her advice on that.
(Aplauz)
(Applause)