So my name is Amy Webb, and a few years ago I found myself at the end of yet another fantastic relationship that came burning down in a spectacular fashion. And I thought, what's wrong with me? I don't understand why this keeps happening.
Dakle, moje ime je Amy Webb, i prije nekoliko godina sam se našla na kraju još jedne fantastične veze koja se raspala na spektakularan način. I pitala sam se, znate, što nije u redu sa mnom? Ne razumijem zašto mi se to stalno događa.
So I asked everybody in my life what they thought. I turned to my grandmother, who always had plenty of advice, and she said, "Stop being so picky. You've got to date around. And most importantly, true love will find you when you least expect it."
Tako da sam pitala sve ljude koje znam, što o tome misle? Obratila sam se baki, koja je uvijek imala savjeta napretek, i rekla mi je: "Nemoj biti tako izbirljiva. Trebaš ići na spojeve. I ono najvažnije,
Now as it turns out, I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data, as you'll soon find. I am constantly swimming in numbers, formulas and charts. I also have a very tight-knit family, and I'm very, very close with my sister, and as a result, I wanted to have the same type of family when I grew up.
prava ljubav naći će te kad ćeš joj se najmanje nadati." Međutim, ispada kako sam ja osoba koja puno razmišlja o podatcima, što ćete ubrzo i sami vidjeti. Neprestano plivam u brojkama, formulama i grafikonima. Osim toga, imam jako povezanu obitelj i vrlo sam bliska sa svojom sestrom. Kao rezultat svega toga, htjela sam imati istu takvu obitelj kada odrastem.
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup, I'm 30 years old, I figure I'm probably going to have to date somebody for about six months before I'm ready to get monogamous and before we can sort of cohabitate, and we have to do that for a while before we can get engaged. And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35, that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage five years ago. So that wasn't going to work.
I tako, na kraju sam tog gadnog prekida, imam 30 godina, i shvatim kako ću vjerojatno trebati hodati s nekim oko šest mjeseci prije nego budem bila spremna za monogamnu vezu i prije no što počnemo živjeti zajedno, i da će to trebati trajati neko vrijeme prije nego se zaručimo. I ako želim rađati djecu do 35. godine, to je značilo da sam trebala već prije pet godina biti na svom putu prema braku. Tako da taj plan neće upaliti.
If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love, then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity. In short, I was trying to figure out what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right? Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia, and it's a big city, and I figured, in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities. So again, I started doing some math. Population of Philadelphia: it has 1.5 million people. I figure about half of that are men, so that takes the number down to 750,000. I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36, which was only four percent of the population, so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men. I was looking for somebody who was Jewish, because I am and that was important to me. That's only 2.3 percent of the population. I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men, and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer. So that basically meant there were 35 men for me that I could possibly date in the entire city of Philadelphia.
Ako je moja strategija bila ta da se najmanje nadam pravoj ljubavi, onda je varijabla kojom bih se bavila bila - slučajno otkriće. Ukratko, trudila sam se shvatiti koja je vjerojatnost da pronađem gospodina Pravoga? U to vrijeme sam živjela u Philadelphiji, koja je veliki grad, i smatrala sam da tamo ima mnogo mogućnosti. Tako da sam ponovo počela računati. Populacija Philadelpije je 1,5 milijuna ljudi. Pretpostavila sam da su polovica od toga muškarci, tako da se broj smanjuje na 750.000. Tražila sam tipa koji ima između 30 i 36 godina, što je bilo samo četiri posto populacije, tako da sam sada baratala s mogućnošću od 30.000 muškaraca. Tražila sam nekoga tko je Židov, jer sam i sama Židovka i to mi je bilo bitno. To je bilo samo 2,3 posto populacije. Pretpostavljala sam da će me privući jedan od desetorice tih muškaraca, i nije bilo šanse da ću se spetljati s nekime tko je entuzijastičan golfer. To je u osnovi značilo kako za mene postoje 35 muškaraca s kojima sam mogla otići na spoj
In the meantime, my very large Jewish family was already all married and well on their way to having lots and lots of children, and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure to get my life going already.
u cijeloj Philadelphiji. U međuvremenu, moja velika židovska obitelj sva je već bila poudavana i oženjena te na dobrom putu da dobiju mnogo djece. Imala sam osjećaj da sam pod ogromnim pritiskom vršnjaka da se konačno pokrenem.
So I have two possible strategies at this point I'm sort of figuring out. One, I can take my grandmother's advice and sort of least-expect my way into maybe bumping into the one out of 35 possible men in the entire 1.5-million-person city of Philadelphia, or I could try online dating.
Tako da sam u tom trenu imala dvije moguće strategije, malo sam razmišljala. Prvo, mogu poslušati bakin savjet i najmanje se nadati da ću sresti jednog od 35 mogućih muškaraca u cijeloj 1,5 milijunskoj Philadelphiji, ili bih mogla pokušati pronaći partnera preko interneta.
Now, I like the idea of online dating, because it's predicated on an algorithm, and that's really just a simple way of saying I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data, run it through a system and get to a solution. So online dating is the second most popular way that people now meet each other, but as it turns out, algorithms have been around for thousands of years in almost every culture. In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers a long time ago, and though they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se, they definitely were running through formulas in their heads, like, is the girl going to like the boy? Are the families going to get along? What's the rabbi going to say? Are they going to start having children right away? The matchmaker would sort of think through all of this, put two people together, and that would be the end of it. So in my case, I thought, well, will data and an algorithm lead me to my Prince Charming? So I decided to sign on.
Sviđa mi se ideja online datinga, jer se temelji na algoritmu, što bi drugim riječima značilo da imam problem, uzeti ću neke podatke, unijeti ih u sustav i dobiti rješenje. Online dating je drugi najpopularniji način upoznavanja ljudi, no kako se ispostavilo, algoritmi postoje već tisućama godina u gotovo svakoj kulturi. Zapravo, u judaizmu postoje brakovesci već odavno, i iako nisu imali neki iznimno jasan algoritam, sigurno su imali razne formule u glavi, poput - hoće li se djevojci svidjeti mladić? Hoće li se dvije obitelji dobro slagati? Što će na to reći rabin? Hoće li odmah početi raditi na djeci? I brakovezac bi razmišljao o svemu ovome, spojio bi dvoje ljudi i to bi bilo to. Tako da sam se u svom slučaju pitala hoće li me podaci i algoritam dovesti do mog princa na bijelom konju?
Now, there was one small catch.
Zato sam se odlučila priključiti.
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites, as it happens, I was really, really busy. But that actually wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that I hate filling out questionnaires of any kind, and I certainly don't like questionnaires that are like Cosmo quizzes. So I just copied and pasted from my résumé.
No, postojala je mala caka. Dok sam se priključivala raznim internetskim stranicama za veze, ispostavilo se da sam vrlo, vrlo zaposlena. No to nije bio ni najveći problem. Najveći je problem bio što mrzim ispunjavati bilo kakve upitnike, a najmanje volim upitnike poput kvizova u časopisu Cosmopolitan. Tako da sam samo copy-pastala svoj životopis.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
So in the descriptive part up top, I said that I was an award-winning journalist and a future thinker. When I was asked about fun activities and my ideal date, I said monetization and fluency in Japanese. I talked a lot about JavaScript.
U dijelu gdje se trebam opisati, rekla sam kako sam nagrađivana novinarka i vizionarka. Kada sam trebala navesti kojim se zabavnim aktivnostima bavim i svog idealnog partnera, navela sam monetizaciju i tečnost u japanskom jeziku.
(Laughter)
Puno sam govorila o JavaScriptu.
So obviously this was not the best way to put my most sexy foot forward. But the real failure was that there were plenty of men for me to date. These algorithms had a sea full of men that wanted to take me out on lots of dates -- what turned out to be truly awful dates.
Očigledno, to nije bio najbolji način da prikažem svoju zavodljivu stranu. No, najveći neuspjeh je bio to što je bilo jako puno muškaraca s kojima sam mogla na spoj. Ti algoritmi uključivali su more muškaraca koji su me htjeli izvesti na puno spojeva --
There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy. The algorithm matched us up because we share a love of gadgets, we share a love of math and data and '80s music, and so I agreed to go out with him. So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth, extremely expensive restaurants. And we went in, and right off the bat, our conversation really wasn't taking flight, but he was ordering a lot of food. In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu. He was ordering multiple appetizers, multiple entrées, for me as well, and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table, also lots and lots of bottles of wine. So we're nearing the end of our conversation and the end of dinner, and I've decided Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other, but we'll part ways as friends, when he gets up to go to the bathroom, and in the meantime, the bill comes to our table. And listen, I'm a modern woman. I am totally down with splitting the bill. But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back.
koji su se ispostavili kao očajni spojevi. Bio je jedan informatičar, Steve. Algoritam nas je spojio jer nas oboje zanimaju gadgeti, matematika, podaci i glazba iz 80ih, i zato sam pristala izaći van s njim. Steve, informatičar, pozvao me na spoj u jedan jako skupi philadelphijski restoran, s bijelim stolnjacima. Ušli smo unutra, i od samog početka, naš razgovor nije išao nikuda, no on je naručivao puno hrane. Zapravo, nije niti pogledao jelovnik. Naručivao je brojna predjela, brojna glavna jela, za mene također, i odjednom je na našem stolu bilo brdo hrane, i jako puno boca vina. Približavali smo se kraju našeg razgovora i večere, i shvatila sam da Steve, informatičar, i ja nismo suđeni jedno drugome no da ćemo se rastati kao prijatelji, kada se on uputio u toalet, a u međuvremenu je na stol došao račun. Slušajte, ja sam moderna žena, i sasvim mi je prihvatljivo podijeliti račun. No, Steve, informatičar, se nije se vratio. (Uzdasi)
(Gasping)
And that was my entire month's rent.
To je bila cijela moja mjesečna stanarina.
(Audience gasps)
So needless to say, I was not having a good night. So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister, and as I do, at the end of each one of these terrible, terrible dates, I regale them with the details. And they say to me, "Stop complaining."
Ne moram ni reći da se nisam dobro provela. Otišla sam kući, nazvala majku i sestru, i kao što uvijek radim nakon svakog užasnog spoja, zasula ih detaljima. One su mi odvratile:
(Laughter)
"Prestani se žaliti." (Smijeh)
"You're just being too picky."
"Jednostavno si preizbirljiva."
So I said, fine, from here on out I'm only going on dates where I know there's Wi-Fi, and I'm bringing my laptop. I'm going to shove it into my bag, I'm going to have this email template, and I'm going to fill it out and collect information on all these different data points during the date to prove to everybody that empirically, these dates really are terrible.
Rekla sam tada da ću otad ići na spojeve samo ondje gdje znam da ima wi-fija i da ću sa sobom nositi svoj laptop. Ugurat ću ga u torbu, i imat ću predložak e-pošte, popunit ću ga i prikupiti informacije o raznim podatcima koje ću dobiti tijekom spoja kako bih svima dokazala da su empirijski ovi spojevi zaista užasni. (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Počela sam pratiti stvari poput
So I started tracking things like really stupid, awkward, sexual remarks; bad vocabulary; the number of times a man forced me to high-five him.
zaista glupih, neugodnih seksualnih primjedbi; lošeg vokabulara; koliko puta me muškarac prisilio da mu dam pet.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
So I started to crunch some numbers, and that allowed me to make some correlations. So as it turns out, for some reason, men who drink Scotch reference kinky sex immediately.
Počela sam spajati neke brojke, što mi je omogućilo da izvučem neke korelacije. Ispostavilo se da, iz nekog razloga, muškarci koji piju viski,
(Laughter)
odmah aludiraju na pomalo perverzan seks.
Well, it turns out that these probably weren't bad guys.
(Smijeh)
There were just bad for me. And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up, they weren't bad either. These algorithms were doing exactly what they were designed to do, which was to take our user-generated information, in my case, my résumé, and match it up with other people's information. See, the real problem here is that, while the algorithms work just fine, you and I don't, when confronted with blank windows where we're supposed to input our information online. Very few of us have the ability to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves. The other problem is that these websites are asking us questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person? Do you like horror films or romance films? I'm not looking for a pen pal. I'm looking for a husband. Right? So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data.
Ispostavilo se da to vjerojatno nisu loši dečki. Jedino što su loši za mene. I algoritmi koji su nas spajali isto tako nisu bili loši. Ti su algoritmi radili upravo ono za što su bili i napravljeni, da prikupe naše podatke, u mom slučaju, moj životopis, i spoje ih s tuđim podatcima. Vidite, pravi problem je taj što, iako algoritmi dobro funkcioniraju, ti i ja ne funkcioniramo dobro, kada se suočimo s praznim prozorčićima gdje bismo trebali unijeti naše podatke. Jako malo nas može biti potpuno i brutalno iskreni sami sa sobom. Drugi problem je što nam te internetske stranice postavljaju pitanja poput: "Voliš li pse ili mačke?" "Voliš li horore ili romantične filmove?" Ne tražim prijatelja za dopisivanje. Tražim supruga. Dobro? Tako da su ti podatci prilično površni.
So I said fine, I've got a new plan. I'm going to keep using these online dating sites, but I'm going to treat them as databases, and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system. So knowing that there was superficial data that was being used to match me up with other people, I decided instead to ask my own questions. What was every single possible thing that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?
Onda sam si rekla da imam novi plan. I dalje ću se služiti tim online dating stranicama, no koristit ću ih kao baze podataka, i umjesto da čekam da me algoritam spoji s nekime, pokušat ću cijeli taj sustav podvrgnuti obrnutom inženjeringu. Znajući da se koriste površni podaci kako bi me se spojilo s drugim ljudima, odlučila sam da umjesto toga sama postavljam pitanja. Koje su to sve bile stvari kojih sam se mogla sjetiti da su mi bitne za mog partnera?
So I started writing and writing and writing, and at the end, I had amassed 72 different data points. I wanted somebody was Jew-ish, so I was looking for somebody who had the same background and thoughts on our culture, but wasn't going to force me to go to shul every Friday and Saturday. I wanted somebody who worked hard, because work for me is extremely important, but not too hard. For me, the hobbies that I have are really just new work projects that I've launched. I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children, but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do, so somebody who was going to be totally okay with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three, and also maybe computer science classes if we could wrangle it. So things like that, but I also wanted somebody who would go to far-flung, exotic places, like Petra, Jordan. I also wanted somebody who would weigh 20 pounds more than me at all times, regardless of what I weighed.
Počela sam pisati i pisati i pisati, i na kraju sam prikupila 72 različita podatka. Htjela sam nekoga tko je Židov, tražila sam nekoga tko ima isto podrijetlo i poglede na našu kulturu, ali me neće tjerati da idem u sinagogu svaki petak i subotu. Htjela sam nekoga tko puno radi, jer mi je rad iznimno bitan, no da ne radi previše. Za mene su moji hobiji zapravo novi projekti koje sam pokrenula. Također sam htjela nekoga tko ne samo da želi imati dvoje djece, nego će imati i isti pristup odgoju kao i ja. dakle, netko kome će biti sasvim uredu siliti našu djecu da idu na satove klavira u dobi od tri godine, a možda i informatku ako je uspijemo ugurati. Takve neke stvari, no htjela sam i nekoga tko bi išao na udaljena, egzotična mjesta, poput Petre u Jordanu. Htjela sam nekoga tko teži 10 kilograma više od mene u svakom trenutku, bez obzira koliko sam ja teška.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
So I now have these 72 different data points, which, to be fair, is a lot. So what I did was, I went through and I prioritized that list. I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points, and I ranked everything starting at 100 and going all the way down to 91, and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart, who would challenge and stimulate me, and balancing that with a second tier and a second set of points. These things were also important to me but not necessarily deal-breakers.
Tako sam imala ta 72 različita podatka, što je zaista puno. Prošla sam kroz taj popis i birala prioritete. Podijelila sam ih u glavni, gornji razred i drugi razred bodova, i sve sam rangirala počevši od 100 sve do 91, i navodeći stvari poput toga da tražim nekoga jako pametnog, tko će me izazivati i poticati, i uspoređivala to s drugim razredom i drugom skupinom bodova. Te su mi stvari također bile bitne,
(Laughter)
no nisu bile presudne.
So once I had all this done, I then built a scoring system, because what I wanted to do was to sort of mathematically calculate whether or not I thought the guy that I found online would be a match with me. I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message. For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date, and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold.
Kad sam to sve napravila, sastavila sam sustav ocjenjivanja, budući da sam htjela matematički izračunati bi li neki tip kojeg pronađem na internetu bio moj par ili ne. Shvatila sam kako bi trebao imati najmanje 700 bodova prije nego bih pristala poslati mu e-poštu ili odgovoriti na njegovu e-poštu. Za 900 bodova pristala bih otići na spoj, a ne bih ni pomišljala na bilo kakvu vezu prije no što itko prođe prag od 1.500 bodova.
Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well. So I go back online now. I found Jewishdoc57 who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken, he had hiked Mt. Fuji, he had walked along the Great Wall. He likes to travel as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship. And I thought, I've done it! I've cracked the code. I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming of my family's dreams.
Ispostavilo se da je to jako dobro funkcioniralo. Vratila sam se na Internet. Pronašla sam osobu Jewishdoc57 koji je nevjerojatno zgodan i nevjerojatno rječit, popeo se na planinu Fuji, prošetao se po Kineskom zidu. Voli putovati sve dok to ne uključuje kruzer. I pomislila sam: "Uspjela sam!" "Razbila sam šifru!" "Pronašla sam židovskog princa na bijelom konju o kojem je moja obitelj sanjala."
There was only one problem: He didn't like me back. And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered is the competition. Who are all of the other women on these dating sites? I found SmileyGirl1978. She said she was a "Fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing." She listed her job as "teacher." She said she is "silly, nice and friendly." She likes to make people laugh "alot."
Postojao je samo jedan problem: Nisam mu se sviđala. Jedina varijabla koju nisam bila uzela u obzir je konkurencija. Tko su sve ostale žene na tim internetskim stranicama? Pronašla sam SmileyGirl1978. Rekla je da je "zabavna djevojka, koja je sretna i otvorena." Navela je da je učiteljica i da je "luckasta, draga i srdačna." "Jako" voli nasmijavati ljude.
At this moment I knew, clicking profile after profile that looked like this, that I needed to do some market research. So I created 10 fake male profiles. Now, before I lose all of you --
U tom sam trenutku znala, klikajući profil za profilom koji su izgledali ovako, da trebam provesti istraživanje tržišta. Stvorila sam 10 lažnih muških profila. Prije nego vas sve izgubim --
(Laughter) --
(Smijeh) --
understand that I did this strictly to gather data about everybody else in the system. I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody. I really was just scraping their data. But I didn't want everybody's data. I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry.
znajte da sam to učinila samo da prikupim podatke o svima ostalima u tom sustavu. Nisam se s nikim upuštala u sulude veze s lažnim identitetom. Zaista sam samo prikupljala njihove podatke. No, nisam htjela svačije podatke. Htjela sam samo podatke onih žena koje će privući tip muškarca za kojeg bih se ja vrlo rado udala. (Smijeh)
When I released these men into the wild, I did follow some rules. So I didn't reach out to any woman first. I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract, and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets. So I was looking at qualitative data, so what was the humor, the tone, the voice, the communication style that these women shared in common? And also quantitative data, so what was the average length of their profile, how much time was spent between messages? What I was trying to get at here was that I figured, in person, I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl1978. I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online.
Kada sam pustila te "muškarce" u divljinu, poštivala sam neka pravila. Nisam prva prilazila niti jednoj ženi. Samo sam čekala da vidim koga će ti profili privući, a najviše sam promatrala dvije različite skupine podatake. Gledala sam kvalitativne podatke, poput humora, tona, glasa, stila komunikacije koje su te žene dijelile. Ali i kvantitativne podatke, poput prosječe duljine njihovog profila, koliko je vremena prošlo između dopisivanja? Ono što sam htjela ovdje dobiti je da i sama budem jednako konkurentna kao i SmileyGirl1978. Htjela sam vidjeti kako da poboljšam svoj vlastiti online profil.
Well, one month later, I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis. And as it turns out, content matters a lot. So smart people tend to write a lot -- 3,000, 4,000, 5,000 words about themselves, which may all be very, very interesting. The challenge here, though, is that the popular men and women are sticking to 97 words on average that are written very, very well, even though it may not seem like it all the time. The other hallmark of the people who do this well is that they're using non-specific language. So in my case, "The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever, but it doesn't work to use that in a profile, because that's a superficial data point, and somebody may disagree and decide they don't want to go out because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.
Dakle, nakon mjesec dana, imala sam puno podataka i mogla sam napraviti drugu analizu. Ispostavilo se da je sadržaj jako bitan. Pametni ljudi imaju naviku puno pisati -- 3.000, 4.000, 5.000 riječi o sebi, što može biti jako zanimljivo. No, ovdje je izazov to što se popularni muškarci i žene u prosjeku drže 97 riječi koje su jako dobro napisane, iako se to možda ne čini uvijek tako. Druga značajka ljudi koji ovo rade dobro je što ne koriste konkretan jezik. U mom slučaju, moj omiljeni film je "Engleski pacijent" no, ne koristi ako to spomenem u profilu, jer je to površan podatak i netko se ne bi se trebao složiti sa mnom i odlučiti da ne žele izaći sa mnom jer im se nije svidjelo sjediti tri sata gledajući taj film.
Also, optimistic language matters a lot. So this is a word cloud highlighting the most popular words that were used by the most popular women, words like "fun" and "girl" and "love." And what I realized was not that I had to dumb down my own profile. Remember, I'm somebody who said that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript and I was okay with that. The difference is that it's about being more approachable and helping people understand the best way to reach out to you.
Osim toga, optimističan jezik je jako bitan. Ovo je oblak s riječima koji pokazuje najpopularnije riječi koje su koristile najpopularnije žene, poput: "zabava", "cura" i "ljubav". Shvatila sam kako ne trebam učiniti svoj profil glupljim. Sjetite se, ja sam osoba koja tečno govori japanski i poznajem JavaScript i to mi je bilo ok. Razlika je ta što se tu radi o tome kako biti pristupačniji i kako pomoći ljudima da shvate
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.
koji je najbolji način da ti se obrate.
Just because you have access to somebody's mobile phone number or their instant message account and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake, doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people. The popular women on these online sites spend an average of 23 hours in between each communication. And that's what we would normally do in the usual process of courtship.
Ispostavilo se i da je vrijeme također jako bitno. Samo zato što imate pristup nečijem broju mobitela ili njihovom računu instant poruka, i dva su sata ujutro, a vi ste nekim slučajem budni, ne znači da je to dobar trenutak da komunicirate s tim ljudima. Popularne žene na ovim internetskim stranicama u prosjeku imaju pauzu od 23 sata između svake komunikacije. To je ono što bismo i inače radili
And finally -- there were the photos. All of the women who were popular showed some skin. They all looked really great, which turned out to be in sharp contrast to what I had uploaded.
u uobičajenom procesu udvaranja. I konačno, tu su i fotografije. Sve popularne žene bile su odjevene otvorenije. Sve su izgledale zaista odlično, što je bila velika razlika od moje fotografije.
(Laughter)
Sad kad sam imala sve te informacije,
Once I had all of this information, I was able to create a super profile, so it was still me, but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem. And as it turns out, I did a really good job. I was the most popular person online.
mogla sam napraviti super profil, tako da sam to i dalje bila ja, no, sada optimizirana za taj ekosustav. I ispostavilo se da sam napravila zaista dobar posao. Bila sam najpopularija osoba na Internetu.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me. So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother. I'm telling them about this fabulous news, and they say, "This is wonderful! How soon are you going out?" I said, "Actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody." Because remember, in my scoring system, they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points, and none of them have done that. They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."
I mnogo je muškaraca htjelo na spoj sa mnom. I tako nazovem svoju majku, sestru i baku. Govorim im o tim sjajnim vijestima, a one kažu: "To je prekrasno! Kada ćeš na spoj?" A ja im odgovaram: "Pa, zapravo, neću ni sa kim na spoj." Jer, sjetite se, po mojem sustavu ocjenjivanja moraju prijeći prag od minimalno 700 bodova, a nijednome to nije uspjelo. One odgovaraju: "Što? Još uvijek si previše izbirljiva."
Well, not too long after that, I found this guy, Thevenin, and he said that he was culturally Jewish, he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter, which I thought was very clever. He talked in detail about travel. He made a lot of really interesting cultural references. He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted, and immediately, he scored 850 points. It was enough for a date.
Nedugo nakon toga, upoznala sam jednog čovjeka, Thevenina, koji je rekao da je kulturološki Židov, da je po profesiji lovac na bebe arktičkih tuljana, što sam smatrala domišljatim. Detaljno je govorio o putovanjima. Imao je dosta zanimljivih kulturnih referenci. Izgledao je i govorio upravo kako sam htjela, i odmah je dobio 850 bodova. To je bilo dovoljno za spoj.
Three weeks later, we met up in person for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation that went from coffee shop to restaurant to another coffee shop to another restaurant, and when he dropped me back off at my house that night I re-scored him --
Tri tjedna kasnije našli smo se uživo na razgovoru koji je trajao 14 sati, i koji je vodio od kafića do restorana do drugog kafića do drugog restorana i kada me je te večeri odbacio do moje kuće ponovo sam ga ocijenila --
[1,050 points!]
1.050 bodova! --
Thought, you know what, this entire time, I haven't been picky enough. Well, a year and a half after that, we were non-cruise ship traveling through Petra, Jordan, when he got down on his knee and proposed. A year after that, we were married, and about a year and a half after that, our daughter, Petra, was born.
iako, znate što? Cijelo to vrijeme nisam bila dovoljno izbirljiva. Godinu i pol dana poslije, putovali smo (ne kruzerom), kroz Petru u Jordanu, kada je kleknuo na koljeno i zaprosio me. Godinu nakon toga, bili smo vjenčani, a godinu i pol nakon toga, rodila se naša kći Petra.
Audience: Oh!
(Pljesak)
(Applause)
[What it means...]
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --
Očito je da imam fantastičan život, tako da --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh) --
The question is, what does all of this mean for you?
pitanje je, što sve ovo znači vama?
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love. It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online. In fact, it's something that you write yourself. So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife or you're trying to find your passion or you're trying to start a business, all you have to really do is figure out your own framework and play by your own rules, and feel free to be as picky as you want.
Izgleda da postoji algoritam za ljubav. Jedino što to nisu oni koji su nam predstavljeni na Internetu. Zapravo, to je nešto što sami pišete. Tako da, bilo da tražite supruga ili suprugu ili pokušavate pronaći svoju strast ili pokušavate pokrenuti posao, sve što trebate napraviti je da osmislite svoj vlastiti okvir i da igrate po vlastitim pravilima, i slobodno budite izbirljivi koliko želite.
Well, on my wedding day, I had a conversation again with my grandmother, and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong. It looks like you did come up with a really, really great system. Now, your matzah balls ... They should be fluffy, not hard."
Na dan mog vjenčanja, ponovo sam pričala sa svojom bakom, i rekla mi je, "U redu. Možda sam bila u krivu. Izgleda da si ipak osmislila jako, jako dobar sustav. No, što se tiče tvojih knedli, trebale bi biti mekane, a ne tvrde."
(Laughter)
I poslušat ću taj njezin savjet.
And I'll take her advice on that.
(Pljesak)
(Applause)