So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack, and all it requires of you is this: that you change your posture for two minutes. But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now do a little audit of your body and what you're doing with your body. So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller? Maybe you're hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles. Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this. Sometimes we spread out. (Laughter) I see you. So I want you to pay attention to what you're doing right now. We're going to come back to that in a few minutes, and I'm hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit, it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.
Počeću tako što ću vam dati besplatan netehnički trik, sve što treba da uradite jeste da promenite položaj tela na dva minuta. Ali pre nego što vam otkrijem trik, zamoliću vas da osmotrite svoje telo i šta radite sa njim. Koliko vas se nekako "smanjilo"? Možda ste pogrbljeni, prekrštenih nogu uplićete članke. Nekad se ovako držimo za ruke. Nekad se širimo. (Smeh) Vidim vas. (Smeh) Hoću da obratite pažnju na to šta sada radite. Vratićemo se na to za nekoliko minuta i ako biste naučili kako da to promenite sasvim malo, možda biste mogli značajno da promenite tok vašeg života.
So, we're really fascinated with body language, and we're particularly interested in other people's body language. You know, we're interested in, like, you know — (Laughter) — an awkward interaction, or a smile, or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe even something like a handshake.
Fascinirani smo jezikom tela, a naročito nas interesuje jezik tela drugih ljudi. Tako nas interesuje, znate... (Smeh) čudna interakcija ili osmeh, prezriv pogled ili pak čudan mig ili možda neko rukovanje.
Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10. This lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States. Here comes the Prime Minister -- No. (Laughter) (Applause)
Narator: "Stižu u Broj 10 i pogledajte ovog policajca srećkovića kako se rukuje sa predsednikom Sjedinjenih Država.
(Laughter) (Applause)
Sada stiže i premijer...? - Ne." (Smeh) (Aplauz)
Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake, can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks. Even the BBC and The New York Times. So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior, or body language -- but we call it nonverbals as social scientists -- it's language, so we think about communication. When we think about communication, we think about interactions. So what is your body language communicating to me? What's mine communicating to you?
(Smeh) (Aplauz) Ejmi Kadi: Izgleda da o rukovanju ili izostanku rukovanja, možemo pričati nedeljama i nedeljama. Čak i BBC i Njujork Tajms. Očito je da kada mislimo na neverbalno ponašanje ili jezik tela, u društvenim naukama zovemo ga neverbalna komunikacija, to je jezik, dakle mislimo o komunikaciji. Kad razmišljamo o komunikaciji, razmišljamo o interakciji. Dakle, kakvu poruku vaš jezik tela meni prenosi? A moj vama?
And there's a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this. So social scientists have spent a lot of time looking at the effects of our body language, or other people's body language, on judgments. And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date. For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University, shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips of real physician-patient interactions, their judgments of the physician's niceness predict whether or not that physician will be sued. So it doesn't have to do so much with whether or not that physician was incompetent, but do we like that person and how they interacted? Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton has shown us that judgments of political candidates' faces in just one second predict 70 percent of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes, and even, let's go digital, emoticons used well in online negotiations can lead you to claim more value from that negotiation. If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right?
Mnogo je razloga zbog kojih verujemo da je ovo ispravan način posmatranja stvari. Društvene nauke su mnogo vremena provele istražujući kako jezik našeg tela ili jezik tela drugih ljudi, utiče na formiranje stavova. Na osnovu jezika tela formiramo površne zaključke i stavove. Takvi stavovi mogu uticati na bitne događaje u životu, npr. kome ćemo dati posao ili unapređenje, sa kim ćemo izaći. Na primer, Nalini Ambadi, naučnica sa Univerziteta Tufts, pokazala je da kada ljudi pogledaju neme snimke od 30 sekundi, stvarne interakcije između lekara i pacijenta, stav tih ljudi o ljubaznosti lekara predviđa da li će lekar biti tužen. Ne mora da se radi o tome da li je taj lekar nestručan, već dopada li nam se ta osoba i kakav je bio odnos sa pacijentom. Dramatičniji primer daje nam Aleks Todorov sa Prinstona. Pokazao je da stavovi o licima političkih kandidata u toku samo jedne sekunde predviđaju 70% rezultata izbornih trka za Senat i guvernerska mesta. Da malo pređemo i u digitalni svet, dobro korišćeni emotikoni u onlajn pregovorima mogu doneti veću korist. Nije dobro koristiti ih pogrešno. Zar ne?
So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are. We tend to forget, though, the other audience that's influenced by our nonverbals, and that's ourselves. We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.
Kad mislimo na neverbalne znakove, mislimo na to kako sudimo o drugima, kako oni sude o nama i koje su posledice toga. Međutim, često zaboravljamo na još jednu publiku na koju utiču neverbalni znaci, a to smo mi sami. Pod uticajem smo naših neverbalnih znakova, misli, osećanja i naše fiziologije.
So what nonverbals am I talking about? I'm a social psychologist. I study prejudice, and I teach at a competitive business school, so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics. I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance.
O kakvim neverbalnim znacima govorim? Ja sam socijalni psiholog. Proučavam predrasude i predajem u poznatoj poslovnoj školi, tako da je bilo neizbežno da se zainteresujem za dinamiku moći. Naročito za neverbalne izraze moći i dominacije.
And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance? Well, this is what they are. So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding. So you make yourself big, you stretch out, you take up space, you're basically opening up. It's about opening up. And this is true across the animal kingdom. It's not just limited to primates. And humans do the same thing. (Laughter) So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically, and also when they're feeling powerful in the moment. And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us how universal and old these expressions of power are. This expression, which is known as pride, Jessica Tracy has studied. She shows that people who are born with sight and people who are congenitally blind do this when they win at a physical competition. So when they cross the finish line and they've won, it doesn't matter if they've never seen anyone do it. They do this. So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted.
Koji su to neverbalni izrazi moći i dominacije? Evo ih. U životinjskom carstvu radi se o širenju. Načinite sebe velikim, protegnete se, zauzmete prostor, u suštini se otvarate. Radi se o otvaranju. Ovo važi za celo životinjsko carstvo. Nije ograničeno samo na primate. Ljudi rade isto to. (Smeh) Rade to kada su konstantno moćni, ali i kada se osećaju moćno u trenutku. Ovaj primer je naročito zanimljiv jer nam pokazuje koliko su zapravo izrazi moći univerzalni i stari. Ovaj izraz, koji znamo kao "ponos", izučavala je Džesika Trejsi i pokazala da ljudi koji su rođeni sa normalnim vidom i ljudi koji su slepi od rođenja, rade ovo kada pobede na fizičkom takmičenju. Rade to kada prođu kroz cilj kao pobednici bez obzira da li su nekada videli nekoga da to radi. Urade ovo. Ruke su u obliku slova "V", brada blago uzdignuta.
What do we do when we feel powerless? We do exactly the opposite. We close up. We wrap ourselves up. We make ourselves small. We don't want to bump into the person next to us. So again, both animals and humans do the same thing. And this is what happens when you put together high and low power. So what we tend to do when it comes to power is that we complement the other's nonverbals. So if someone is being really powerful with us, we tend to make ourselves smaller. We don't mirror them. We do the opposite of them.
Šta radimo kad se osećamo bespomoćno? Radimo potpuno suprotno. Zatvorimo se. "Obmotamo" se. Smanjimo se. Izbegavamo sudaranje sa osobom do nas. I životinje i ljudi rade isto. Evo šta se desi kada spojite viši i niži nivo moći. Kada se radi o moći, dešava se da dopunjavamo neverbalne znake drugog. Ako neko prema nama ispoljava nadmoć, načinimo se manjima. Ne oponašamo ih. Radimo suprotno od njih.
So I'm watching this behavior in the classroom, and what do I notice? I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals. So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas, really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space. When they sit down, they're sort of spread out. They raise their hands like this. You have other people who are virtually collapsing when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it. You see it on their faces and their bodies, and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny, and they go like this when they raise their hand.
Posmatram ovo ponašanje u učionici i šta primećujem? Studenti menadžmenta zaista ispoljavaju lepezu neverbalnih izraza moći. Tu su ljudi koji liče na alfe i čim uđu u učionicu, upute se ka sredini prostorije i pre početka predavanja, deluje kao da žele da zauzmu prostor. Kad sednu, rašire se. Ruke podižu ovako. Imate druge ljude koji bukvalno klonu kad uđu. To vidite čim uđu u učionicu. Vidite im na licima i telima, sedaju u stolice i načine sebe malima i rade ovo kada podižu ruku.
I notice a couple of things about this. One, you're not going to be surprised. It seems to be related to gender. So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men. Women feel chronically less powerful than men, so this is not surprising.
Primećujem nekoliko stvari u vezi sa ovim. Prvo, a nećete biti iznenađeni, jeste da ovo verovatno ima veze sa polom, žene su sklonije od muškaraca da ovo rade. Žene se veoma često osećaju manje moćno od muškaraca, tako da ovo ne iznenađuje.
But the other thing I noticed is that it also seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating. And this is really important in the MBA classroom, because participation counts for half the grade.
Ali, primetila sam i da je ovo verovatno u vezi sa stepenom aktivnosti studenata i kvalitetom učestvovanja u predavanju. Ovo je posebno važno u učionici za menadžment jer učestvovanje donosi polovinu bodova za ocenu.
So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap. You get these equally qualified women and men coming in and then you get these differences in grades, and it seems to be partly attributable to participation. So I started to wonder, you know, okay, so you have these people coming in like this, and they're participating. Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead them to participate more?
Zbog toga se poslovne škole bore sa ovim jazom između polova. Stižu vam jednako kvalifikovane žene i muškarci, a potom dobijete ove razlike u ocenama. Izgleda da se razlika delom može pripisati učestvovanju. Zapitala sam se, ako već imamo sve ove ljude koji ovako dolaze i učestvuju, da li je moguće navesti ljude da se pretvaraju i da li bi zbog toga više učestvovali?
So my main collaborator Dana Carney, who's at Berkeley, and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it? Like, can you do this just for a little while and actually experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful? So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us. There's a lot of evidence. But our question really was, do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?
Tako smo se moja glavna saradnica Dejna Karni, sa Berklija i ja zapitale da li možete glumiti dok vam to ne postane stvarnost? Odnosno, možete li to uraditi nakratko i zapravo postići bihejvioralni rezultat koji vas čini moćnijim? Znamo da naši neverbalni znaci utiču na to kako drugi ljudi misle i osećaju prema nama. Mnogo je dokaza. Ali naše pitanje u suštini glasi: da li naši neverbalni znaci utiču na to kakvo mišljenje imamo o sebi?
There's some evidence that they do. So, for example, we smile when we feel happy, but also, when we're forced to smile by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy. So it goes both ways. When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. So when you feel powerful, you're more likely to do this, but it's also possible that when you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful.
Postoje neki dokazi da utiču. Na primer, osmehujemo se kad smo srećni, ali i kad smo prisiljeni da se osmehnemo, držeći ovako olovku u zubima, osećamo zadovoljstvo. Utiče na oba načina. Kada se radi o moći deluje na oba načina. Kada se osećate moćno, verovatno ćete uraditi ovo, ali takođe je moguće da kada se pretvarate da ste moćni, tada se zapravo osećate moćno.
So the second question really was, you know, so we know that our minds change our bodies, but is it also true that our bodies change our minds? And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful, what am I talking about? So I'm talking about thoughts and feelings and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings, and in my case, that's hormones. I look at hormones. So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like? So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly, more assertive and more confident, more optimistic. They actually feel they're going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly. So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks. There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people. Physiologically, there also are differences on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone, and cortisol, which is the stress hormone.
Tako da je drugo pitanje: ako znamo da naš um menja telo, da li je tačno da i naše telo menja um? A kad kažem "um" u kontekstu moći o čemu zapravo govorim? Govorim o mislima i osećanjima i svojevrsnim fiziološkim stvarima koje čine naše misli i osećanja i u mom slučaju radi se o hormonima. Posmatram hormone. Kako izgleda um moćne osobe u odnosu na bespomoćnu? Moćni ljudi često su, očekivano, asertivniji i samopouzdaniji, optimističniji. Veruju da će pobediti čak i u situacijama gde odlučuje sreća. Čini se da su više u stanju da razmišljaju apstraktno. Tako da je mnogo razlika. Preuzimaju više rizika. Mnogo je razlika između moćnih i bespomoćnih ljudi. Fiziološki, postoje razlike između dva ključna hormona: testosterona, hormona dominacije, i kortizola, hormona stresa.
So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol. So what does that mean? When you think about power, people tended to think only about testosterone, because that was about dominance. But really, power is also about how you react to stress. So do you want the high-power leader that's dominant, high on testosterone, but really stress reactive? Probably not, right? You want the person who's powerful and assertive and dominant, but not very stress reactive, the person who's laid back.
Otkrili smo da veoma moćni alfa mužjaci u hijerarhijama primata imaju visok nivo testosterona, a nizak nivo kortizola. Takođe, moćni i efikasni lideri imaju visok testosteron i nizak kortizol. Šta to onda znači? Razmišljajući o moći, ljudi obično misle samo o testosteronu jer se tu radi o dominaciji. Zapravo, moć ima veze i sa time kako reagujete na stres. Stoga, želite li moćne lidere koji su dominantni, puni testosterona, ali loše reaguju na stres? Verovatno ne, je li tako? Želite osobu koja je moćna i asertivna i dominantna, ali koja ne reaguje loše na stres, osobu koja je opuštena.
So we know that in primate hierarchies, if an alpha needs to take over, if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly, within a few days, that individual's testosterone has gone up significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly. So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind. So what happens, okay, you take a role change, what happens if you do that at a really minimal level, like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention? "For two minutes," you say, "I want you to stand like this, and it's going to make you feel more powerful."
Znamo da u hijerarhijama primata, ako alfa treba da preuzme, ako pojedinac treba naglo da preuzme ulogu alfe, za nekoliko dana testosteron tog pojedinca značajno poraste, dok se kortizol značajno smanji. Tako da imamo dokaze i za to da telo oblikuje um, makar na facijalnom nivou i za to da menjanje uloge može da oblikuje um. A šta se dešava, kod promene uloga, ako to uradite u zaista maloj meri, kao što je ova mala manipulacija, ova sitna intervencija? "U toku dva minuta", na primer, "hoću da stojite ovako i zbog toga ćete se osećati moćnije."
So this is what we did. We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and I'm just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two. So here's one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the "Wonder Woman" by the media. Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So you're folding up, you're making yourself small. This one is very low-power. When you're touching your neck, you're really protecting yourself.
To smo i uradili. Doveli smo ljude u laboratoriju i sproveli mali eksperiment, u kome su ovi ljudi zauzeli u toku dva minuta, dominantne ili potčinjene poze. Pokazaću vam pet ovakvih poza, iako su oni zauzeli samo dve. Evo jedne. Još dve. Ovu su mediji nazvali "Super-žena". Još par. Možete stajati ili sedeti. Nekoliko potčinjenih poza. Ako se previjete, činite da izgledate manji. Ova je veoma potčinjena. Kad dodirujete vrat
So this is what happens. They come in, they spit into a vial, for two minutes, we say, "You need to do this or this." They don't look at pictures of the poses. We don't want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power. So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, "How powerful do you feel?" on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble, and then we take another saliva sample. That's it. That's the whole experiment.
zapravo se štitite. Ovako se odvija eksperiment. Učesnici uđu, daju uzorak pljuvačke, kažemo im u toku dva minuta: "Radite ovo ili ovo". Ne vide ilustracije poza. Ne želimo izazvati kod njih koncept moći. Želimo da se osećaju moćno. Dakle, to rade dva minuta. Onda ih pitamo koliko moćno se osećaju u vezi sa raznim stvarima i tad im damo priliku da se kockaju i potom opet uzmemo uzorak pljuvačke. To je to. To je čitav eksperiment.
So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When you're in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that's a whopping significant difference.
Evo do čega smo došli. Tolerancija na rizik, što je u suštini kockanje i ono što smo otkrili jeste to da, kada ste u pozi visokog nivoa moći, 86% vas će se kockati. Kada ste u pozi niskog nivoa moći, samo 60%, a to je prilično značajna razlika.
Here's what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Here's what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down. And we've all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it's not just others, but it's also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.
Evo šta smo pronašli u vezi sa testosteronom. Od kako su ušli, ljudi sa višim nivoom moći doživeli su porast testosterona za 20%, dok su ljudi sa nižim nivoom moći doživeli smanjenje za oko 10%. I još jednom, za samo dva minuta dobijete ovakve promene. Evo šta se dešava sa kortizolom. Ljudi sa višim nivoom moći dožive oko 25% pada, a ljudi sa nižim nivoom dožive oko 15% povećanja nivoa kortizola. Za dva minuta dolazi do ovakvih promena koje utiču da vaš mozak postane asertivan, samopouzdan i siguran ili da burno reaguje na stres i osećanje kao da se gasi. A svi smo to osetili, zar ne? Izgleda da neverbalno ponašanje upravlja načinom na koji mislimo i kako se osećamo u vezi sa sobom, tako da nisu u pitanju samo drugi, već i mi sami.
But the next question, of course,
Takođe, naša tela menjaju naše misli.
is, can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways? This is in the lab, it's this little task, it's just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this? Which we cared about, of course. And so we think where you want to use this is evaluative situations, like social threat situations. Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? For teenagers, it's at the lunchroom table. For some people it's speaking at a school board meeting. It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview. We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through, was the job interview.
Ali sledeće pitanje jeste: da li zauzimanje poze moći na nekoliko minuta zaista može značajnije promeniti naše živote? Ovo je bilo u laboratoriji. Mali zadatak, znate, koji traje svega par minuta. Gde to uopšte možete da primenite? Naravno, to nam je bilo važno. Smatramo da je bitno gde želite da ovo primenite, kao npr. u situacijama procenjivanja kao što su neke socijalne situacije. Gde vas procenjuju, recimo vaši prijatelji? Kod tinejdžera je to za vreme užine. Na primer, za neke ljude je to tokom govora na školskom sastanku. Može biti kada ubeđujete nekoga ili kada imate govor poput ovog ili kada ste na intervjuu za posao. Mislimo da je jedna situacija na koju se ovo najčešće odnosi, jer je većina prošla kroz nju, intervju za posao.
So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do when you go in for the job interview, right?
Objavili smo ove nalaze i mediji su bili oduševljeni i rekli su nešto poput ovog: "Ok, evo šta treba da radiš kada ideš na intervju za posao, u redu?"
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, that's not what we meant at all. For numerous reasons, no, don't do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. It's you talking to yourself. What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. You're sitting down. You're looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out. You're looking at your notes, you're hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes. So that's what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview. It's five minutes long. They are being recorded. They're being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this. Imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled. People hate this. It's what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol. So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them. They're blind to the hypothesis. They're blind to the conditions. They have no idea who's been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "We want to hire these people," all the high-power posers. "We don't want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But what's driving it? It's not about the content of the speech. It's about the presence that they're bringing to the speech. Because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech? How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is what's affected. These kinds of things. People are bringing their true selves, basically. They're bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them. So this is what's driving the effect, or mediating the effect.
Naravno, bili smo zaprepašćeni i rekli: "O bože, ne, ne, ne, uopšte nismo mislili tako. Iz bezbroj razloga, nemojte to uraditi." Ponovo, ovo nije u vezi sa tvojom komunikacijom sa drugima. Ovo je u vezi sa komunikacijom sa samim sobom. Evo šta radiš pre odlaska na intervju. Sediš, gledaš u svoj iPhone - ili u svoj Android; ne pokušavam nikoga da izostavim. Gledaš u svoje beleške, stežeš se, smanjuješ se, a ono što bi trebalo da radiš je možda ovo, možda u kupatilu. Uradi ovo. Nađi dva minuta. To je ono što želimo da testiramo. U redu? I tako dovodimo ljude u laboratoriju, i oni se ponovo postavljaju u poze nižeg ili višeg nivoa moći i prolaze kroz vrlo stresan intervju za posao. Traje pet minuta. Snimani su. Procenjivani su, a sudije su instruirane da ne daju neverbalne povratne informacije, i izgledaju ovako. Zamislite da je ovo osoba koja vas intervjuiše. Dakle u toku pet minuta - ništa. To je gore nego da ste odbijeni. Ljudi ovo mrze. To je nešto što Marijana Lafrank zove "stajanje u socijalnom živom pesku". Ovo zaista dovodi do skakanja nivoa kortizola. To je bio intervju za posao kroz koji smo ih sproveli jer smo želeli da vidimo šta se dešava. Potom su ove trake pogledala četiri procenjivača. Nisu znali za pretpostavku. Nisu znali za uslove. Nisu znali ko je zauzimao koju pozu i na kraju su gledali ove setove snimaka i rekli su: "Želimo da zaposlimo ove ljude" - sve ljude sa pozama visokog nivoa moći - "ne želimo da zaposlimo ove ljude. Procenjujemo da su ovi ljudi pozitivniji u globalu." Zbog čega? Nije u pitanju sadržaj govora. Radi se prisutnosti tokom govora. Takođe smo, jer ih procenjujemo po ovim varijablama povezanim sa kompetencijom, kao npr, koliko je govor struktuiran? Koliko je dobar? Koje su njihove kvalifikacije? Na ove stvari nema uticaja. Ovo je ono što je uticalo. Ove stvari. Ljudi, u suštini, donose svoje pravo ja. Donose sebe. Donose svoje ideje i to bez ostatka. Tako da je to ono što pokreće efekat ili utiče na njega.
So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, "It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. It's not me. I don't want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don't want to feel like an impostor. I don't want to get there only to feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I'm not supposed to be here.
Kada govorim ljudima o ovome, da naša tela menjaju naše misli i naše misli menjaju naše ponašanje i ponašanje može uticati na ishode, oni mi kažu: "Ne - to zvuči kao prevara." Zar ne? Na to kažem, glumi dok ne postane prirodno. To nisam ja. Ne želim da stignem dotle i da se osećam kao prevarant. Ne želim da se osećam kao uljez. Ne želim da dospem negde i da se osećam kao da ne pripadam tu. To zaista odgovara mojoj situaciji jer želim da vam ispričam jednu kratku priču o tome kada ste uljez i kada ne bi trebalo da budete tu.
When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, "You're not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you."
Kada sam imala 19, doživela sam tešku saobraćajnu nesreću. Ispala sam iz auta i kotrljala se nekoliko puta. Ispala sam. Probudila sam se na odeljenju za povrede glave i povučena sam sa koledža i saznala da je moj nivo inteligencije opao za dve standardne devijacije, što je bilo jako traumatično. Znala sam svoj nivo inteligencije jer sam sebe doživljavala kao pametnu i govorili su da sam bila nadareno dete. Tako sam izbačena sa koledža i pokušavala da se vratim. Govorili su mi: "Nećeš završiti koledž. Ali znaš, postoje i druge stvari kojima možeš da se baviš, ali to ti neće uspeti."
So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.
Borila sam se sa ovim i moram reći, kada ti je oduzet identitet, tvoj istinski identitet, a za mene je to bio intelekt, kada ti je to oduzeto, ne postoji ništa što može učiniti da se osećaš bespomoćnije. Osećala sam se potpuno bespomoćno i radila sam i radila i posrećilo mi se i radila sam i posrećilo mi se i radila sam.
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That's it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting." She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do. You are going to fake it. You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" So that's what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here."
Najzad sam diplomirala. Trebalo mi je četiri godine više od mojih vršnjaka i ubedila sam nekoga, moju anđeosku savetnicu, Suzan Fisk, da me primi i završila sam na Prinstonu, osećala sam da ne pripadam tu. Ja sam uljez. Noć pred moje izlaganje na kraju prve godine, a izlaganje na kraju prve godine na Prinstonu je 20-minutni govor ispred 20 ljudi. To je to. Toliko sam se plašila da ću narednog dana biti otkrivena da sam je nazvala i rekla: "Odustajem." Rekla mi je: "Ne odustaješ jer sam rizikovala s tobom i ostaješ. Ostaćeš i evo šta ćeš da uradiš. Pretvaraćeš se. Održaćeš svaki govor koji se ikada od tebe bude tražio. Samo ćeš ga odraditi i odraditi i odraditi i ako budeš prestravljena i paralizovana i ako budeš imala vantelesno iskustvo, sve dok ne doživiš trenutak u kome ćeš reći: "O bože, ja to radim. Nešto kao, ja sam postala ovo. Ja zaista ovo radim." To sam i uradila. Pet godina na fakultetu, nekoliko godina, na Nortvesternu sam, prešla sam na Harvard, na Harvardu sam, ne mislim više na to, ali dugo vremena sam mislila: "Ne bi trebalo da sam ovde. Ne pripadam ovde."
So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, you've gotta participate or else you're going to fail," came into my office. I really didn't know her at all. She came in totally defeated, and she said, "I'm not supposed to be here." And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I don't feel like that anymore. I don't feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it.
Na kraju moje prve godine na Harvardu, studentkinja koja ceo semestar na predavanjima nije progovorila, kojoj sam rekla: "Vidi, moraš da se uključiš inače ćeš pasti godinu," došla je u moju kancelariju. Nisam je poznavala uopšte. Došla je potpuno poražena i rekla: "Ne bi trebalo da sam ovde." To je bio trenutak. Jer su se desile dve stvari. Jedna je da sam shvatila, o moj bože, pa ne osećam se više tako. Ne osećam se više tako, ali ona se oseća i razumela sam je. A druga stvar je bila, ona je pripadala ovde! Ona se može pretvarati dok ne postane to.
So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow you're going to fake it, you're going to make yourself powerful, and, you know --
Rekla sam joj: "Pripadaš! Treba da budeš ovde! Sutra ćeš odglumiti, učinićeš sebe moćnom i znaš,
(Applause)
ti ćeš - " (Aplauz) (Aplauz)
And you're going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever." You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and were like, oh my God, I didn't even notice her sitting there. (Laughter)
"Otići ćeš u učionicu, i daćeš najbolji komentar." Znate? Zaista je dala najbolji komentar, a ljudi su se pogledali i pomislili, bože, nisam je nikada primetio da sedi ovde, znate? (Smeh)
She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.
Došla je kod mene nekoliko meseci kasnije i shvatila sam da nije samo lažirala dok nije uspela, ona je lažirala dok nije postala to. Promenila se. Htela sam da vam kažem, nemojte da se pretvarate dok ne uradite. Pretvarajte se dok ne postanete. Znate? Radite dok ne postanete to i dok to ne usvojite.
The last thing I'm going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So, this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Don't leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn't show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.
Poslednja stvar sa kojom želim da vas ostavim je sledeća. Male promene mogu dovesti do velikih promena. To je dva minuta. Dva minuta, dva minuta, dva minuta. Pre nego što odete u narednu stresnu situaciju procenjivanja, na dva minuta, pokušajte da uradite ovo, u liftu, u kupatilu, za svojim stolom, iza zatvorenih vrata. To je ono što želite da uradite. Prilagodite svoj mozak da najbolje izađe na kraj sa situacijom. Podignite nivo svog testosterona. Smanjite kortizol. Nemojte napustiti situaciju osećajući se da niste pokazali ko ste u stvari. Napustite situaciju osećajući se kao, oh, osećam se kao da sam im pokazao ko sam zapravo.
So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple. I don't have ego involved in this. (Laughter) Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power. Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life.
Želim da zatražim od vas da prvo probate zauzimanje poze moći, a potom želim da podelite ovo saznanje jer je jednostavno. Moj ego nije upleten u ovo. (Smeh) Podelite dalje. Podelite sa ljudima jer oni koji će ovo najbolje iskoristiti su oni koji nemaju resursa niti tehnologije niti statusa ili moći. Dajte im jer to mogu uraditi za sebe. Potrebna su im njihova tela, privatnost i dva minuta i to značajno može promeniti ishode njihovih života.
Thank you.
Hvala vam. (Aplauz)
(Applause)
(Aplauz)