So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack, and all it requires of you is this: that you change your posture for two minutes. But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now do a little audit of your body and what you're doing with your body. So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller? Maybe you're hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles. Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this. Sometimes we spread out. (Laughter) I see you. So I want you to pay attention to what you're doing right now. We're going to come back to that in a few minutes, and I'm hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit, it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.
Za začetek vam želim povedati za življenski trik, ki ne zahteva denarja ali tehnologije. Vse, kar morate storiti je, da spremenite svojo držo za dve minuti Preden pa vam povem več, bi vas zdaj prosila, da ste pozorni na svoje telo in kaj z njim počnete. Koliko od vas se dela majhne? Morda ste sključeni, imate prekrižane noge ali pa se oprijemate svojih gležnjev. Včasih se držimo za svoje roke takole. Včasih pa jih razširimo. (Smeh) Vidim vas. (Smeh) Želim, da ste pozorni, kaj delate sedaj. Čez nekaj minut se bomo vrnili k temu in upam, da če boste malce spremenili držo bi vam to lahko spremenilo vaš potek življenja.
So, we're really fascinated with body language, and we're particularly interested in other people's body language. You know, we're interested in, like, you know — (Laughter) — an awkward interaction, or a smile, or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe even something like a handshake.
Res nas zanima telesna govorica še posebej pa telesna govorica drugih ljudi. Saj veste. Zanima nas... (Smeh) čudna komunikacija ali pa nasmeh zloben pogled, zelo nenavaden pomežik
Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10.
ali pa morda celo nekaj takega kot stisk roke.
This lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States. Here comes the Prime Minister -- No. (Laughter) (Applause)
Prihajata do prostorov na Downing Street 10. Poglejte. Srečni policist se bo rokoval s predsednikom ZDA. Se bo tudi premier rokoval?
(Laughter) (Applause)
Ne. (Smeh) (Aplavz)
Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake, can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks. Even the BBC and The New York Times. So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior, or body language -- but we call it nonverbals as social scientists -- it's language, so we think about communication. When we think about communication, we think about interactions. So what is your body language communicating to me? What's mine communicating to you?
Če je nekdo nekomu segel v roko ali ne, se o tem govori tedne in tedne. To je lahko novica na BBC-ju in članek v New York Timesu. Ko pomislimo o nebesednem obnašanju ali govorici telesa; sociologi temu rečemo nebesednost to pomeni jezik in pomislimo na komunikacijo. Ko o tem razmišljamo, razmišljamo o odnosih. Torej, kaj mi pove tvoja govorica telesa? Kaj moja pove tebi?
And there's a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this. So social scientists have spent a lot of time looking at the effects of our body language, or other people's body language, on judgments. And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date. For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University, shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips of real physician-patient interactions, their judgments of the physician's niceness predict whether or not that physician will be sued. So it doesn't have to do so much with whether or not that physician was incompetent, but do we like that person and how they interacted? Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton has shown us that judgments of political candidates' faces in just one second predict 70 percent of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes, and even, let's go digital, emoticons used well in online negotiations can lead you to claim more value from that negotiation. If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right?
Obstaja veliko razlogov, da je to tehten način gledanja na to. Sociologi so prebili veliko časa ob opazovanju učinkov naše telesne govorice ali telesne govorice drugih na presojanje. Iz tega sledijo pomembne odločitve in sklepi, ki tlakujejo pot nadaljnjemu življenju, naprimer koga bomo najeli ali povišali, koga bomo povabili na zmenek. Nalini Ambady, raziskovalec na Univerzi Tufts je dokazal, da ko so ljudje gledali 30-sekundne neme videoposnetke, ki so prikazovali odnose med bolnikom in zdravnikom so njihove presoje, koliko je bil zdravnik prijazen pokazale ali bo dotičnega zdravnika doletela tožba. Tako ni bistvo v tem, ali je zdravnik nesposoben ampak ali nam je oseba všeč in kako se je obnašala. Še bolj spektakularno je to, da je Alex Todorov iz Univerze Princeton dokazal, da je presoja obrazov političnih kandidatov v eni sekundi pravilno napovedala 70% izidov volitev za ameriške senatorje in guvernerje. Če pogledamo v digitalni svet, smeški, uporabljeni ob pravem času pri pogovoru prek spleta vam lahko prinesejo veliko koristi iz njega. Če jih nespretno uporabite, je to slabo.
So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are. We tend to forget, though, the other audience that's influenced by our nonverbals, and that's ourselves. We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.
Kar se tiče nebesednosti, pomislimo, kako presojamo druge, kako drugi presojajo nas in kakšni so rezultati. Ampak radi pozabljamo, da nebesednost vpliva tudi na nas. Nebesednost vpliva na naše misli, čustva in fiziologijo.
So what nonverbals am I talking about? I'm a social psychologist. I study prejudice, and I teach at a competitive business school, so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics. I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance.
O katerih elementih nebesednosti sploh govorim? Sem socialna psihologinja. Preučujem predsodke in poučujem v tekmovalni poslovni šoli, zato je bilo neizogibno, da sem se začela zanimati za dinamiko moči. Še posebej so me pritegnili nebesedni izrazi moči in prevlade.
And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance? Well, this is what they are. So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding. So you make yourself big, you stretch out, you take up space, you're basically opening up. It's about opening up. And this is true across the animal kingdom. It's not just limited to primates. And humans do the same thing. (Laughter) So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically, and also when they're feeling powerful in the moment. And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us how universal and old these expressions of power are. This expression, which is known as pride, Jessica Tracy has studied. She shows that people who are born with sight and people who are congenitally blind do this when they win at a physical competition. So when they cross the finish line and they've won, it doesn't matter if they've never seen anyone do it. They do this. So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted.
Kateri izrazi so to? To so tile. V kraljestvu živali je srž razširjanje. Naredite se velike, raztegnite se, zavzemate prostor, odpirate se. Bistvo je v odpiranju. To velja v živalskem kraljestvu in tega ne znajo samo primati. Ljudje delamo isto. (Smeh) To se počne, ko ima nekdo moč dalj časa ali samo v danem trenutku. To je še kako zanimivo, ker nam kaže, kako univerzalni in stari so ti izrazi moči. Takle izraz, ki ga poznamo kot ponos, je bil predmet študije Jessice Tracy. Dokazala je, da tako tisti, ki vidijo in tisti, ki so se rodili slepi naredijo enako gestikulacijo, ko zmagajo na atletskem tekmovanju. Ko prečkajo ciljno črto in zmagajo ni važno, če slepi niso videli nikogar drugega, ki bi to naredil. Še zmeraj storijo to. Roke so dvignjene v črko 'V', brada je rahlo privzdignjena.
What do we do when we feel powerless? We do exactly the opposite. We close up. We wrap ourselves up. We make ourselves small. We don't want to bump into the person next to us. So again, both animals and humans do the same thing. And this is what happens when you put together high and low power. So what we tend to do when it comes to power is that we complement the other's nonverbals. So if someone is being really powerful with us, we tend to make ourselves smaller. We don't mirror them. We do the opposite of them.
Kaj storimo, ko se počutimo brezmočne? Storimo nasprotno. Zapremo se kot v klobčič. Naredimo se majhne. Nočemo trčiti v osebo zraven nas. Ponovno, živali in ljudje se obnašajo isto. To se zgodi, ko sta velika in majhna moč skupaj. Nagnjeni smo k temu, da ko se gre o moči, dopolnjujemo nebesednost drugih. Torej, če nekdo razkazuje moč pred nami se naredimo majhne. Ne oponašamo jih. Naredimo ravno nasprotno od njih.
So I'm watching this behavior in the classroom, and what do I notice? I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals. So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas, really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space. When they sit down, they're sort of spread out. They raise their hands like this. You have other people who are virtually collapsing when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it. You see it on their faces and their bodies, and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny, and they go like this when they raise their hand.
Opazovala sem obnašanje v razredu in kaj sem zapazila? Študenti poslovne administracije pokažejo poln razpon prikazov moči. Tako obstajajo karikature alfa ljudi, ki vstopijo samozavestno in gredo na sredino predavalnice, pred začetkom ure in hočejo zasesti prostor. Ko se usedejo, so razpotegnjeni. Dvigujejo roko takole. Na drugi strani imate ljudi, ki se bodo malodane zrušili na tla, ko vstopijo v učilnico. Takoj se vidi. Pozna se jim na obrazu in telesu. Sedijo na stolu in se delajo majhne, dvigujejo roko takole.
I notice a couple of things about this. One, you're not going to be surprised. It seems to be related to gender. So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men. Women feel chronically less powerful than men, so this is not surprising.
Opazila sem par stvari. Ne boste ravno presenečeni. Videti je, da se to nanaša na spol. Ženske pogosteje to počnejo od moških. Kronično se počutijo šibkejše od moških, tako da to ni presenetljivo. Sem pa zapazila še nekaj.
But the other thing I noticed is that it also seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating. And this is really important in the MBA classroom, because participation counts for half the grade.
Zdi se, da obstaja povezava s tem, koliko in kako so študenti sodelovali na urah. To je zelo pomembno pri predmetu menedžmenta, kajti sodelovanje prinaša pol ocene.
So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap. You get these equally qualified women and men coming in and then you get these differences in grades, and it seems to be partly attributable to participation. So I started to wonder, you know, okay, so you have these people coming in like this, and they're participating. Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead them to participate more?
Poslovne šole se spopadajo s problemom razlik med ocenami obeh spolov. Pred sabo imate enako sposobne ljudi, vidijo se razlike med ocenami in možno je, da je delni vzrok sodelovanje. Začela sem se spraševati, v redu, imam študente v učilnici, ki sodelujejo. Je možno, da jih pripravim do tega, da začenjajo hliniti in bodo tako bolj sodelovali?
So my main collaborator Dana Carney, who's at Berkeley, and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it? Like, can you do this just for a little while and actually experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful? So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us. There's a lot of evidence. But our question really was, do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?
Tako pravi moja glavna sodelavka Dana Carney z Univerze Berkeley. Hotela sem vedeti, ali lahko hliniš, dokler ne uspeš? Lahko delaš to nekaj časa in dejansko izkusiš rezultate obnašanja, ki te dela močnega? Vemo, da nebesednost določa, kaj bodo drugi ljudje mislili in čutili do nas. Dokazov je veliko. Resnično vprašanje, ki se poraja pa je, ali nebesednost določa, kaj mislimo in čutimo do sebe?
There's some evidence that they do. So, for example, we smile when we feel happy, but also, when we're forced to smile by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy. So it goes both ways. When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. So when you feel powerful, you're more likely to do this, but it's also possible that when you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful.
Nekaj dokazov to portrjuje. Naprimer, ko smo veseli, se nasmejemo. Tudi ko se silimo smejati tako da držimo pero z zobmi nas to dela vesele. Učinek je obojestranski. Ko govorimo o moči, je isto. Ko se počutite močne, boste nagnjeni večkrat narediti to, toda možno je tudi, da ko se pretvarjate, da ste močni, boste to tudi občutili.
So the second question really was, you know, so we know that our minds change our bodies, but is it also true that our bodies change our minds? And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful, what am I talking about? So I'm talking about thoughts and feelings and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings, and in my case, that's hormones. I look at hormones. So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like? So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly, more assertive and more confident, more optimistic. They actually feel they're going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly. So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks. There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people. Physiologically, there also are differences on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone, and cortisol, which is the stress hormone.
Drugo vprašanje je bilo, vemo, da naš um spreminja naše telo toda ali je tudi res, da telo spreminja um? Ko mislim um, v primeru močnih, o čem pravzaprav govorim? Govorim o mislih in občutkih ter fizioloških stvareh, ki sprožajo misli in občutke. V mojem primeru so to hormoni. Raziskujem jih. Kako izgleda um močne osebe v primerjavi s šibkejšo? Močnejši ljudje težijo k jasnejšemu, samozavestnejšemu in bolj optimističnemu obnašanju, kar ni presentljivo. Dejansko čutijo, da bodo zmagali celo pri igrah na srečo. Bolj so tudi nagnjeni k abstraktnejšemu mišljenju. Veliko je razlik. Veliko tvegajo. Močni in šibki se zelo razlikujejo. Gledano s psihološkega vidika, obstajajo tudi razlike v dveh ključnih hormonih: testosteronu, hormonu dominance in kortizolu, stresnemu hormonu.
So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol. So what does that mean? When you think about power, people tended to think only about testosterone, because that was about dominance. But really, power is also about how you react to stress. So do you want the high-power leader that's dominant, high on testosterone, but really stress reactive? Probably not, right? You want the person who's powerful and assertive and dominant, but not very stress reactive, the person who's laid back.
Kar smo odkrili je, da imajo močni alfa samci v hiearhiji primatov visoko raven testosterona in nizko raven kortizola. Tudi močni in učinkoviti voditelji imajo več testosterona kot kortizola. Kaj to pomeni? Ko pomislite na moč, imajo ljudje v mislih testosteron, ker le-ta nakazuje dominanco. Moč se v resnici odraža tudi v tem, kako reagirate na stres. Bi hoteli močnega, dominantnega vodjo, ki poka od testosterona, hkrati pa občutljiv na stres? Ne bi, kajne? Hoteli bi osebo, ki je močna, samozavestna, dominantna in umirjena ter ne preveč občutljiva na stres.
So we know that in primate hierarchies, if an alpha needs to take over, if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly, within a few days, that individual's testosterone has gone up significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly. So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind. So what happens, okay, you take a role change, what happens if you do that at a really minimal level, like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention? "For two minutes," you say, "I want you to stand like this, and it's going to make you feel more powerful."
V hierarhiji primatov, če hoče alfa samec prevzeti pobudo, če hoče osebek naenkrat prevzeti vlogo alfe v parih dneh, se raven testosterona občutno zviša, hkrati pa se nivo korizola občutno zmanjša. Imamo dokaz. Telo lahko oblikuje um, kar se pozna vsaj na obrazni mimiki in da menjave vlog spreminjajo um. Kaj se zgodi ob menjavi vloge, četudi je sprememba majhna, kot naprimer malo manipulacije, malo posega? Rečete: "Za dve minuti hočem, da stojite takole in to vas bo napravilo močnejše."
So this is what we did. We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and I'm just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two. So here's one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the "Wonder Woman" by the media. Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So you're folding up, you're making yourself small. This one is very low-power. When you're touching your neck, you're really protecting yourself.
To smo storili. Odločili smo se, da bomo naredili eksperiment in ti ljudje so bili v držah dominance ali podrejenosti za dve minuti. Pokazala vam bom pet primerov, čeravno sta bili drži samo dve. Tu je ena. Še nekaj. Tej drži so mediji nadeli vzdevek "Super ženska". Tukaj jih je še malo. Lahko so stali ali sedeli. Tu pa so drže podrejenosti. Zaprete se, delate se majhne. Ta izraža izredno podrejenost. Ko se dotikate svojega vratu,
So this is what happens. They come in, they spit into a vial, for two minutes, we say, "You need to do this or this." They don't look at pictures of the poses. We don't want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power. So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, "How powerful do you feel?" on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble, and then we take another saliva sample. That's it. That's the whole experiment.
se zelo ščitite. Zgodi se tole. Vstopijo, pljunejo v stekleničko in jim rečemo, da morajo za dve minuti početi to in to. Niso videli slik drž. Nismo jih hoteli pripraviti na koncept moči. Hoteli smo, da se čutijo močne. Dve minuti so počeli to. Vprašali smo jih, koliko močne so počutijo v več situacijah in potem smo jim dali možnost, da tvegajo. Še enkrat smo jim vzeli vzorec sline. To je bil cel ekspreriment, nič več.
So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When you're in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that's a whopping significant difference.
Ugotovili smo sledeče. Toleranca tveganja, kar je izzivanje sreče, se poveča. Ko ste v pozi moči, 86% ljudi bo tvegalo. Ko ste v pozi podrejenosti, pa samo 60%. Velika razlika.
Here's what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Here's what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down. And we've all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it's not just others, but it's also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.
Pri testosteronu smo ugotovili, da se pri dominantnih ljudeh poveča za 20%, pri podrejenih pa se zmanjša za 10%. Ponavljam, to se je zgodilo v roku dveh minut. Kaj pa kortizol? Pri dominantnih se zniža za 25%, pri podrejenih pa se zviša za 15%. Dve minuti sta privedli do teh sprememb pri hormonih, ki povejo vašim možganom, da ste odločni, samozavestni in prijetnega počutja oziroma zelo občutljivi na stres ter se počutite nekako mrtvo. Vsi smo imeli take občutke. Zgleda, da nebesedna komunikacija obvladuje naša mnenja in občutke, ki jih gojimo o sebi. To delajo tako drugi ljudje kot tudi mi sami.
But the next question, of course, is, can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways? This is in the lab, it's this little task, it's just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this? Which we cared about, of course. And so we think where you want to use this is evaluative situations, like social threat situations. Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? For teenagers, it's at the lunchroom table. For some people it's speaking at a school board meeting. It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview. We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through, was the job interview.
Tudi naša telesa oblikujejo naš um. Seveda, naslednje vprašanje pa je ali se nam lahko obeta pomemben zasuk v življenju, če smo za nekaj minut v drži dominance? Bilo je v laboratoriju. Bil je samo kratek eksperiment, ki je trajal par minut. Kje bi se to dalo uporabiti v resničnem življenju? To nas je zanimalo. Zdi se nam pomembno, da se to uporablja, ko ocenjujemo situacije, naprimer pri družbenih grožnjah, kjer vas ocenjujejo vaši prijatelji. Pri najstnikih se to dogaja v šolski jedilnici. Za nekatere je to govor na sestanku šolskega sveta. Lahko pri metanju žoge, govornem nastopu kot je tale ali pri razgovoru za službo. Odločili smo se, da bi se večina ljudi lahko poistovetila z razgovorom za službo, ker jih je največ imelo to izkušnjo.
So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do when you go in for the job interview, right?
Javnosti smo predstavili ugotovitve in naleteli smo na velik odziv pri medijih. Vprašali so nas: "Takole moramo narediti, preden gremo na razgovor za službo, kajne?" (Smeh)
(Laughter)
Seveda smo bili zaprepadeni in smo rekli:
You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, that's not what we meant at all. For numerous reasons, no, don't do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. It's you talking to yourself. What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. You're sitting down. You're looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out. You're looking at your notes, you're hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes. So that's what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview. It's five minutes long. They are being recorded. They're being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this. Imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled. People hate this. It's what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol. So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them. They're blind to the hypothesis. They're blind to the conditions. They have no idea who's been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "We want to hire these people," all the high-power posers. "We don't want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But what's driving it? It's not about the content of the speech. It's about the presence that they're bringing to the speech. Because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech? How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is what's affected. These kinds of things. People are bringing their true selves, basically. They're bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them. So this is what's driving the effect, or mediating the effect.
"O moj Bog, ne! Nismo mislili tega." Zaradi večih razlogov, tega nikar ne počnite. Ponavljam, ne gre se za pogovor z drugimi. Gre se za pogovor s seboj. Kaj naredite, preden greste na razgovor za službo? Naredite to. Usedete se, ne? Gledate v svoj pametni telefon da ne bi koga izpustili. Gledate svoje zapiske, grbančite se, delate se majhne. V resnici bi morali delati drže moči v kopalnici. Počnite to. Vzemite si dve minuti. To smo hoteli preizkusiti. Imeli smo ljudi v laboratoriju, kjer so delali ali dominantne ali podrejene drže in dali so skozi zelo stresen razgovor za službo. Bil je pet minut dolg. Bili so snemani. Tudi ocenjevali so jih. Komisija je bila taka, da niso z nebesedno komunikacijo dali povratnih informacij. Izgledali so takole. Predstavljajte si, da vas sprašuje taka oseba. Trajalo je pet minut in to je huje, kot če bi vas prekinjali. Ljudje to sovražijo. Marrianne LaFrance temu pravi "stati v družbenem živem pesku." To poviša raven kortizola. Ker smo hoteli videti, kaj se zgodi, smo jih poslali na tak razgovor. Potem smo šifrantom dali štiri posnetke. Niso poznali hipoteze in pogojev, niso vedeli, kdo je stal v kakšni drži. Pregledovali so posnetke in so rekli, da bi radi najeli nekatere ljudi, tiste z držami dominance, nekaterih pa ne. Prav tako so dominantne na splošno ocenili bolje. Kaj je merilo? Ni vsebina govora, ampak navzočnost, dodano k njemu. Ocenjujemo jih tudi po večih spremenljivkah, povezane s kompetenco kot naprimer, kako dobro je govor sestavljen. Kako dober je? Kakšne so sposobnosti kandidatov? Ni vpliva na take stvari. Vplivalo pa je na tole. Ljudje prikažejo svojo pravo sliko. Prikažejo same sebe. Imajo svoje ideje, samo podajo jih kot oni sami brez svojih "mask". To vodi oziroma posreduje vpliv.
So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, "It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. It's not me. I don't want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don't want to feel like an impostor. I don't want to get there only to feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I'm not supposed to be here.
Ko o tem pripovedujem ljudem, da naša telesa spreminjajo naš um in le-ta spreminja naše obnašanje ter slednje lahko spremeni izide. Odvrnejo mi: "Zdi se mi lažno." Rekla sem, da hlinite dokler vam ne uspe. Ampak to nisem jaz. Nočem iti tja in se počutiti kot nek prevarant. Nočem se počutiti kot slepar. Nočem se počutiti kot da ne spadam semkaj. To mi je resnično veliko pomenilo, zato ker bi vam rada povedala zgodbico o sleparstvu in občutku, da ne spadaš sem.
When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, "You're not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you."
Ko sem imela 19 let, sem doživela hudo prometno nesrečo. Vrglo me je iz avtomobila. Nekajkrat sem se zakotalila. Zbudila sem se z poškodbami glave na intenzivni negi. Izpisali so me iz kolidža in izvedela sem, da je moj IQ padel za dva standardna odklona, kar je bilo zelo pretresljivo. Vedela sem, kolikšen je moj IQ, ker sem ga enačila s pametjo in ko sem bila otrok, so me imeli za nadarjeno. Bila sem izpisana iz kolidža. Skušala sem se vrniti nazaj. Rekli so mi, da ga ne bom mogla dokončati, da so tudi druge stvari, ki jih lahko počnem, ampak kolidž ni zame.
So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.
To je bil hud napor. Moram reči, da je odvzem lastne temeljne identitete, zame je pomenila to, da sem pametna, najhujša stvar, ki te lahko pusti nemočnega. V celoti sem se tako počutila. Trudila sem se in trudila, nasmehnila se mi je sreča, se trudila, zopet imela srečo in se trudila. Sčasoma sem končala kolidž.
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That's it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting." She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do. You are going to fake it. You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" So that's what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here."
Trajalo je 4 leta več, kolikor so rabili moji vrstniki. Prepričala sem Susan Fiske, mojo prečudovito svetovalko, naj me sprejme, pristala na Princetonu in počutila sem se, da ne spadam tja. Imela sem se za sleparko. Noč pred mojim govorom v prvem letniku. Morala sem govoriti 20 minut pred 20 ljudmi. Samo to. Tako sem se bala, da me bodo razkrinkali jutri, da sem poklicala Susan in ji rekla: "Odnehala bom." Odvrnila mi je: "Ne, ne boš odnehala, ker sem stavila nate. Ostala boš in opravila boš s tem govorom. Hlinila boš. Opravila boš vsak govorni nastop, ki se zahteva. Imela boš same govore, četudi boš okamnela od strahu in imela izventelesno izkušnjo, dokler ne bo napočil trenutek, ko boš rekla: 'To dejansko počnem. Postala sem eno s tem. Dejansko to počnem.' " In to sem storila. 5 let sem prebila na podiplomskem študiju, potem sem prebila nekaj let na univerzi Northwestern in nazadnje na Harvardu. Tam več ne mislim na to, prej pa sem dolgo časa, da ne spadam tu.
So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, you've gotta participate or else you're going to fail," came into my office. I really didn't know her at all. She came in totally defeated, and she said, "I'm not supposed to be here." And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I don't feel like that anymore. I don't feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it.
Na koncu prvega leta na Harvardu je študentka, ki ni spregovorila besede med urami cel semester in sem ji rekla, da ne bo naredila predmeta, če ne bo sodelovala, prišla v moj kabinet. Nisem je poznala. Videti je bila kot poraženka in je rekla: "Ne spadam sem." To je bil moj trenutek. Zgodili sta se dve stvari. Najprej sem spoznala, da tega občutka nimam več. Tako več ne čutim, ona pa in jo razumem. Druga stvar je bila ta, da je spadala tja. Lahko hlini in lahko postane eno s tistim.
So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow you're going to fake it, you're going to make yourself powerful, and, you know --
Rekla sem ji: "Ni res. Spadaš sem! Jutri se boš pretvarjala, naredila se boš močno
(Applause)
in boš ... (Aplavz) (Aplavz)
And you're going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever." You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and were like, oh my God, I didn't even notice her sitting there. (Laughter)
"Prišla boš v predavalnico in izjavila najboljši komentar, kar jih je bilo." To je tudi storila, ljudje so se ozrli in imeli reakcijo, kot da so jo prvič opazili, da tam sedi. (Smeh)
She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.
Čez nekaj mesecev je zopet prišla k meni in ne samo, da je hlinila, dokler ji ni uspelo ampak je hlinila, dokler ni postala eno s stvarjo. Spremenila se je. Tako vam hočem povedati, da ne hlinite, dokler vam ne uspe. Hlinite, dokler ne postanete eno s stvarjo. Dovolj časa to počnite, da jo ponotranjite.
The last thing I'm going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So, this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Don't leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn't show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.
Še zadnja reč. Majhni popravki lahko vodijo do velikih reči. To sta dve minuti. Dve minuti, dve minuti, dve minuti. Preden se boste znašli v naslednji stresni ocenjevalni situaciji, poskusite delati to za dve minuti v dvigalu, na stranišču, za zaprtimi vrati za svojo mizo. To hočete početi. Naravnajte svoje možgane, da se boste najbolje odrezali v dani situaciji. Povišajte testosteron, znižajte kortizol. Ne dovolite si občutka, da niste pokazali svoji pravih barv. Bolje bo, če boste imeli občutek, da ste znali reči, kdo ste in kaj zmorete.
So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple. I don't have ego involved in this. (Laughter) Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power. Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life.
Rada bi vas najprej prosila, da poskusite z držami dominance prav tako pa bi vas prosila, da delite to znanje, ker ni težko. Moj ego v to ni vpleten. (Smeh) Povejte naprej, delite z ostalimi, kajti ravno tisti brez tehnologije, dobrin, statusa in moči to najbolj potrebujejo. Povejte jim, zato ker to lahko počnejo na samem. Rabijo svoje telo, dve minuti in zasebnost. Lahko doživijo drugačne rezultate v svojem življenju.
Thank you.
Hvala. (Aplavz)
(Applause)
(Aplavz)